


Until Next Time

by Jeiidaan, rynoa29



Series: Lettersverse [2]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood, Gen, Letters, M/M, Slight Crossover with KHR, but then they grow up, eventual slash, in which renzou and yukio are cute lil shits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-12 21:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 88,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1201951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeiidaan/pseuds/Jeiidaan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynoa29/pseuds/rynoa29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yukio and Renzou make an unexpected connection with each other after becoming pen pals in elementary school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. April 6, 2000

It was the school's tradition that every student in the first grade had a pen pal with a student from another city. It was a project that was only required to last for the entire year, but it was encouraged that they keep in contact with their pen pals afterwards.

If it wasn't for his brother's messy handwriting, Yukio probably wouldn't have found it so easy to read the name in the card in front of him. Shima Renzou. It was an interesting name. He'd never heard of a name like it before. He wondered if it was more common in Kyoto.

Looking over at his brother's card, he found the neat penmanship of someone who looked like they could be writing in a textbook. Suguro Ryuuji. Well, Ryuuji was more familiar but Suguro again was another weird name.

Yukio sighed with soft worry. He wondered if they would be able to get along, if maybe they were too different for friendship.

But Rin was already chatting about what kind of a person Suguro could be and Yukio was once again swept away by his big brother's bravery.  _What kind of person is Shima Renzou,_  he thought to himself.

_I hope he'll like me._


	2. April 10, 2000

Renzou bit the fleshy part of his thumb as he stared down at the card that had the name of his assigned partner. He still couldn’t believe his luck. He’d thought for sure that he was going to get partnered up with a guy, but out of the three of them, only Konekomaru ended up with a male partner. Renzou and Ryuuji had gotten lucky and landed a pair of twin sisters. 

 _Rin-chan and Yuki…ko?_  

Renzou frowned as he tried to figure out what the last character in the name card was. He hadn’t cared as much before about the slight blotch he had made with his food-stained fingers, but now that he had to write his letter, he felt a little more curious. 

 _It’s probably Yukiko,_ he thought after a few more seconds. Still, he didn’t want to accidentally call her the wrong name, so he decided to stay safe and just call her Yuki for now. 

He glanced at the blank sheet of paper in front of him with a determined, contemplative gaze. He wasn’t sure what to write. He wanted to make a good impression and seem nice. He wanted Yuki to like him. It shouldn’t be too hard, right? 

 _Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Is it okay if I call you Yuki-chan? I hope you won't mind. You have a beautiful name. Is it because you born in the winter? Or is it ‘cause your skin is as delicate and pale as snow? Either way, it’d be a cool comparison with me. I was born in the middle of summer after all._

_Though we’re supposed to write a short introduction letter, I gotta say I’m more interested in getting to know ya. What kind of things do ya like? What’s your favorite type of food? What makes ya smile?_

_Can’t wait to hear from you._

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_  

Was it a little bit too much? 

…nah. Girls liked flowery talk and questions. And pink. 

When their teacher called for their attention, Renzou ignored him, picked up a pink color pencil, and began to draw little hearts around his letter.


	3. April 13, 2000

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_You can call me Yuki-chan if you like. Can I call you Ren-kun? Thank you! I like your name too. It's different but kind of cool. And yes, me and my brother were both born in December! You guessed because of my name, right? I really like the snow so I like my name too._

_I like singing in the choir at the monastery Rin and I live in. Rin is my brother, by the way. And I really like Rin too. I like Rin a lot. He protects me and does things I can't do so we're always going to be together. My favorite food is seafood! I really like all kinds of fish and sushi and stuff. Rin doesn't really like raw fish like I do and he says it tastes weird but I told him I'll eat his fish since he can't. What makes me smile is my brother, Rin, and my Papa! I really love playing with them a lot!_

"Why's yours got hearts all over it?"

Yukio looked up from writing his response and turned to look at Renzou's previous letter. "I dunno." He shrugged. "Maybe Ren-kun really likes pink."

"Oh I guess so." Rin placed his own letter down.

"Do you like your letter, Nii-san?" Yukio asked with a bright smile.

Rin smiled in return. "Yeah! Ryuuji sounds pretty cool so far. I hope we can be friends."

Yukio's smile widened just a bit further. "Yeah, me too!"

_What kind of stuff makes you smile, Ren-kun? I want to know more about you too!_

_I can't wait to hear from you._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	4. April 17, 2000

"I've been tricked!" Renzou cried out. He stared at the letter in his hands wide-eyed, with an almost absurdly disheartened expression. His voice caught the attention of most of his class, but only Konekomaru bothered to lean over to see what he was protesting about.

"What's wrong?" the shorter boy asked.

Renzou thrust his letter at his childhood friend and huffed as Konekomaru read over the last line that he was pointing at.

"It's not fair! Bon, trade with me!"

"No way," Ryuuji replied without even looking back at him.

Renzou narrowed his eyes and glared at the back of the other's head, but then he remembered Rin wasn't a girl anyway. They were both brothers. What were the odds of that?

"Not fair…" he muttered. With all the reluctance he could muster, Renzou got out a piece of paper and began to pen his reply. Just after writing the first word, he was already starting to waver, unsure of what he wanted to say.

_Dear…_

_Dear what?_ he thought grumpily. It would be rude of him to change his mind now especially since this was his own fault. Renzou grimaced as he forced himself to continue to write.

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_I don't mind being called Ren-kun. You can call me anythin' you'd like, really. Anyway, you sound like a cool guy. I like seafood too, especially shrimp. Sushi's okay. Haven't eaten anything fancy though since I live at a Buddhist temple. We're not supposed to be too picky about food. Or about anything really._

_It's not bad living here though. I get to live with two of my best friends. It's fun being with them, most of the time anyway. They're better than my actual brothers, who're always makin' fun of me and pickin' on me. Being with my friends is what makes me smile._

_Dunno what else to tell ya. Hope I can come up with something by the time I get your next letter._

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_

By the time Renzou had finished writing his letter, his annoyance had faded away. He wasn't sure why. There was something about the activity that put him at ease.

He was still kind of disappointed Yukio wasn't a girl though. What type of person gave their kids such girly names anyway?

 _I wonder if Bon already found out about that…_ Renzou got up from his seat and glanced over at the reply the other was writing. His mouth dropped open a bit and just as Ryuuji was signing his name, he snatched the letter away to double-check what he had seen.

"Sheesh! What's with this boring reply?"

"Shima…! Give it back!" Ryuuji growled, immediately protesting.

Renzou snickered and kept the letter away from the other a while longer, teasing him about his stiff response. "You sound like an old man! And where're the compliments?" Then, as he realized the other surely didn't know about Yukio's brother yet, he added, "Ask a little bit more about her! You're wastin' a golden opportunity here, Bon!"

Ryuuji snatched back his letter. "What did I tell ya about callin' me that?" he muttered.

Renzou grinned behind the other's back and wondered how long it would take Ryuuji to uncover the whole misunderstanding.


	5. April 20, 2000

 

Yukio bounced on his toes as his father gave him Renzou's letter after Rin had rushed in with them both. He raced with Rin to their room and giggled as he hurried to his desk. He quickly ripped open the envelope, his heart thrumming with excitement as he unfolded the paper and read the letter.

It wasn't long until he'd finished the letter that Rin ran out, calling for Papa about a picture of a temple and he was shocked as the same word had been in his own letter. So he chased after Rin, bringing his letter along.

"A temple, huh?" Shiro scratched his head. "Is that in your letters?"

"Yeah!" Rin chirped happily as Yukio nodded at his side.

"Renzou said he lives in a Bu…" Yukio looked back down at the letter. "A Buddhist temple!" He read out the word and was happy to see a spark of familiarity in his father's eyes.

"Ah, I'm familiar with those." Shiro stood up and walked to a small room with many old books behind the chapel. The two boys followed him in and Yukio sneezed from the dust. Rin immediately wiped his little brother's face with his sleeve. Shiro looked down at them and chuckled a bit. "Wait outside the door, you two, or you'll both get covered with little dust bunnies."

Rin's eyes immediately widened with wonder. "Are there actual bunnies made of dust fuzzies?!"

"No, Nii-san! Papa is just kidding!" Yukio said quickly and Rin looked disappointed as they walked out of the room to wait.

It wasn't much longer until Shiro walked out with a thick dusty book. Opening it up caused a small cloud of dust to appear and the two boys waved their hands in front of their faces to block it from going up their noses. A few pages were turned with their own smaller clouds of dust and soon, Shiro stopped.

"There ya are, you two." He gestured to a page. In the picture was a large wooden structure, old and surrounded by trees and nature of all kind. A simple stone path lead up to the entrance. The boys' eyes widened in wonder as he stared at the picture of the temple. Yukio wondered if Ren-kun's temple also looked like that. By the time he'd looked up from the page, Rin was already running back to their room.

"Looks cool, huh?" Shiro was smiling at him and Yukio smiled back.

"Yeah! It sorta looks like our monastery just a little," Yukio said as he looked again at the picture. "But this one looks like it's in a forest."

"It does, huh? Well, we have our own sort of forest in the city. The huge buildings can imagine they're tall, tall trees!" Shiro grinned excitedly and Yukio's mind buzzed with wonder that filled his eyes.

"Yeah!" Yukio smiled brightly.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_Our Papa showed us a picture of a temple today. It looked really cool and it was in the middle of a forest! Is your temple in the middle of a forest? Our monastery is in the city but we have a little bit of trees around. Papa also said that the city is sort of like a different kind of forest! I like thinking about it like that. It makes it like I'm just a bit closer to you._

_I get picked on a lot at school because I'm not very tough but my brother always protects me. I'm sorry your brothers pick on you and I know telling them to stop never really works but you should try it anyway. I would help you if I could but I'm little and I'm not very strong so I don't think I would be able to do much._

_Keep trying and keep smiling because things will always get better!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	6. April 24, 2000

Renzou was in the middle of reading his letter when he heard Konekomaru let out a small noise of exasperation.

He looked up and was surprised to see his friend scowling at his letter.

"Somethin' wrong?"

Konekomaru shook his head. "It's nothing," he muttered, sounding a little grumpy.

Renzou gave him a dubious glance but got back to his letter. A small smile spread across his face. Yukio was pretty enthusiastic. Nice too, like Konekomaru, but maybe not as serious. He wasn't really sure what to make of him. He found it easy to talk to him somehow. His lack of confidence was a little annoying though.

_So you get picked on too, huh?_

Renzou was used to the slight sneer at school due to the reputation their temple had, but he wouldn't call himself bullied. Whenever people made those types of comments, he tended to ignore them. Ryuuji was the one who got more easily riled up.

He wrote his next reply with more purpose than he had before.

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind. Don't worry about me too much though. My brothers might be a pain, but my mom's having a baby soon, so they're probably gonna be too busy or distracted to deal with me. Anyway, why're ya gettin' picked on at school for? It's lucky you've got a good brother, but ya can't let him protect ya all the time. Ya gotta stand up for yourself. It's not as hard as it sounds really. You don't gotta be strong or anythin', you just have to not let it get to ya._

_Anyway, about our temple, yeah it's pretty out of the way. We gotta walk to school every morning, and it's a pain 'cause it's pretty far. The view's nice. The bugs are not. Since we're surrounded by a lotta trees, there's too many bugs around here, which sucks. The other day I woke up, and a moth had gotten into my room because I forgot to close my window! It was horrible. I bet it's much better living in the city. What's it like? What type of things do you do there?_

_Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_  
_Shima Renzou_


	7. April 27, 2000

_"I said leave him alone!"_

_"Nii-san, wait!"_

Yukio gasped as he awoke with a start. The room around him was blurry but he knew where he was. It wasn't at school. He was sleeping in his brother's bed and his brother was beside him. Yukio didn't know how late it was but with what had happened at school that day, and the talk he had with his brother after...

Yukio just didn't know what to do. He knew Rin felt bad about it, but the way he tried to smile and act like it was okay... Yukio didn't want to make it worse so he just pretended with him. Now, he wondered if that was the right thing to do. Yukio got up and felt around his desk for his glasses. His fingers knocked into them and they fell to the floor with a clatter. Yukio winced and looked back towards his brother's bed. It didn't seem like he'd woken up. Yukio bent down, grabbed his glasses, and put them on. He climbed onto his chair and turned on his desk lamp, hoping the light wouldn't wake his brother up.

He grabbed a paper and pencil and began to write.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I tried to listen to what you told me before but it didn't work. They kept bothering me even if I tried to ignore them. My brother tried to come help me but they tried to push him out of the way so he got angry. He hurt one of the boys very bad and my teacher took me away before I could do anything. Papa went to the hospital because I think Rin hurt him too..._

_Rin feels really bad about it and I saw him crying but when he saw me he was smiling and saying everything was okay. I don't know if what I did was right but I smiled too. He always told me that he wants to see me happy so I gave him what he wanted but I know he's not happy and I don't know what to do to try and help him. Rin is always helping me and making me feel better and I want to do the same but I don't know how... I'm not very strong so I don't know if there's anything I can do._

_About your question, we have a lot of bugs around here, little black ones, but not many moths._

Yukio remembered the moment his brother began to get angry. The little black bugs had begun to swarm around him... He shivered at the memory.

_We have a playground nearby the monastery so we go there sometimes. It must be hard to walk so far every day. Our school isn't that far so we walk too. Papa says that if it was any farther we would just take a bus.  
_

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

_P.S. Sorry about making this letter sad but you're my only friend and so... I hope you don't mind..._

Yukio folded up the letter and turned off the lamp. He took off his glasses again, placed them back, and padded across the floor back to Rin's bed. He curled up next to his brother and began whispering the words his father taught him, the words he had to say whenever there was something scary around. Would it even work for his Nii-san? Well, he'd still try and even if being there for Rin was all he could do, he'd do it.

_Don't worry, Nii-san. I'll help too._


	8. May 1, 2000

Renzou had been lying awake for hours now. He usually had an easy time falling asleep—and staying asleep for that matter. Waking up was what was next to impossible most mornings, even when Kinzou ended up shifting around in the night until his foot was smooshed up against Renzou's cheek.

Today though, Renzou felt completely awake. The letter he had gotten from Yukio was a constant thought that wouldn't leave his mind. He hadn't replied to it, not yet. He hadn't been sure of what to say to that. Even though Ryuuji had quickly stalked off with a determined look in his eyes after they'd compared letters, Renzou had remained wordless and at a loss.

He was growing attached to Yukio. It was hard not to worry about the meek boy whom seemed so eager to get to know him. Aside from Ryuuji and Konekomaru, Renzou didn't have many friends around here. It was hard to socialize with others due to the stigma their temple had, even if it was Ryuuji who got the worst of it.

Yukio didn't care about that though. Rather, he didn't know about that. But considering what was happening to him right now, Renzou doubted the other would mind. He was too nice and...

They were friends now, weren't they?

A slight frown crossed Renzou's face. He continued to think long and hard about what to write, and the next morning, soon after ditching his brothers, Renzou found a secluded place to pen his reply.

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_I'm sorry about what happened. Sounds like you've got it tough. I didn't think it was that bad. I'm glad your brother was able to come to your rescue, even though things ended up becomin' more complicated because of it. Hope your dad gets better soon. He's okay, right?_

_This whole thing really sucks. I think you've just gotta keep at it, though, ya know? You said the same to me before, 'member? Keep tryin' and smilin'. Don't let it get to ya. They won't stop if ya show 'em any weakness, so keep your chin up. Not that I'm tellin' ya to fight them or anythin' like that though. There's no point in losin' your temper, that just makes things worse. You should tell your brother the same. It ain't worth it in the end... But yeah. I dunno. I'm not very good at giving advice, so sorry if it's no good. Hope that helps somehow though._

_I wish there was a bus we could take to school around here, or at least bikes we could use. We only have a few of those over here but they're for adults and really tall, so none of us can use them yet. Have you ever been on a bike?_

_Hope things get better for ya, and that I hear from ya soon. Take care, okay?_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	9. May 8, 2000

"You're smiling an awful lot, Yukio."

Yukio looked up at his father. It was just them sitting on the bed. Rin was off making dinner for them and Shiro was still too injured to move about too much. The two brothers had been keeping their father company but for right now, it was just Yukio and Shiro.

"Is that bad?" Yukio asked, fiddling with the letter in his hand.

"'Course it's not!" Shiro laughed and ruffled his hair. "I'm just glad you've found a friend. I think these letters you and your brother are sending are really great for you two. So Rin has told me about Ryuuji-kun, but I haven't heard much from your… Renzou, was it?"

Yukio smiled softly and nodded, looking down at the letter in his hand and the now familiar handwriting. "Ren-kun is… very nice," he said with a smile and a nod. "He's a little brother, too, but his big brothers pick on him so he says I'm lucky. But I think he's lucky too because he gets to live with his best friends!" Yukio pushed up his glasses and looked up at his father. "He's also scared of bugs." He giggled softly.

Shiro smirked. "A boy, scared of bugs?"

"That's not bad!" Yukio defended him immediately. "Lots of people are scared of bugs!"

"Alright, alright." Shiro laughed. "So you really like him, huh? He's a good friend?"

Yukio smiled brighter than before and nodded. "He's a very, very good friend! I like him a lot!"

Shiro grinned in return. He patted his head with a heavy hand. "That's good, Yukio. You keep talking to him, then. No matter how far away he is, your feelings will reach him. And I'm sure his feelings will reach you."

Yukio hugged the letter to his chest immediately. "Yeah. Ren-kun, you're my best friend!"

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_He's better now! Papa is home and in bed. The doctor said he couldn't move around a lot for another week so me and my brother are taking very good care of him. Thank you for asking! I don't know if Rin and Papa have talked about what happened but Rin seems to be doing better too. So I think everything is going to be okay now._

_I don't think I'll get bullied much anymore. They are all scared of my brother. He gets called a demon and a monster a lot. And they don't stop. But my brother doesn't fight anymore so I'm just going to do my best and be with him so he doesn't feel alone. I'm going to tell him to keep his chin up too. You give good advice, Ren-kun. I hope it will help my brother too._

_Maybe when my Papa gets better, he can teach me to ride a bike. But he said that I'll fall over a lot so we need to get protection. But I'm not afraid of getting hurt. I want to be a doctor when I grow up. I always help my brother whenever he gets hurt and he says I'm going to be a great doctor. Papa does too! So I'm going to try my hardest because I don't want to let anyone down. Do you have a dream too?_

_Hope to hear from you soon! Take care!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	10. May 11, 2000

Renzou ignored the annoyed glares Ryuuji kept shooting him every now and then. His friend had finally found out Rin was actually a boy and was mad that Renzou had kept it a secret until now. Konekomaru had already made them apologize to each other (Renzou for lying, and Ryuuji for losing his temper), but Renzou was still vastly amused about it all and kept having to bite his lip to avoid snickering.

It got easier to ignore Ryuuji after he managed to read through Yukio's letter. Renzou smiled genuinely, glad the younger boy was having a better time. His last letter had been pretty somber, but it was obvious things were looking up now.

After shuffling away from his friends slightly, Renzou lay down on his stomach and began to write his reply.

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_I'm glad to hear your dad's doin' better and that you're not gettin' bullied anymore. Sucks about your brother though. My friend (Ryuuji, the guy your brother's been talkin' to) got real mad when he heard about that. Hope they stop pickin' on him soon._

_'S cool that ya wanna be a doctor. I don't really have a dream though. Haven't thought much about what I wanna do when I grow up. My brothers are gonna be monks like the rest of my family, but I'm not really interested in that stuff. I'd like to live out in the city maybe. Find a nice girl to date. It would be nice to get out and do somethin' new…_

Renzou's pen stilled as a slight frown crossed his face. He peeked over his shoulder to glance at his friends. They weren't looking at him, but he didn't feel very comfortable right now, writing about these things with them so near. He felt kinda guilty, especially since he hadn't really talked to them about all of this, not really. He always brushed off their questions with a distraction whenever the topic came up. He had a feeling they would understand if he told them but… he didn't want to disappoint them if they didn't. All three of them had to deal with the pressures that came from their families and their lifestyle, and Renzou felt somewhat like a bit of a scaredy-cat for wanting to pull away from it all.

That's why he'd kept it to himself for so long. But now… Now he had Yuki-chan.

Something settled in Renzou's chest at the thought. His shoulders felt lighter, and as he looked back at his letter, a quiet smile grew on his face.

"Ya done?" Ryuuji grumbled to him a few minutes later after he noticed Renzou pocketing his letter.

"Nah, I'll finish it later," he said with a smile. "How 'bout ya? Finish apologizin' to  _Rin-chan_ yet?"

Ryuuji glared daggers at him.

Konekomaru frowned at them again.

The next moment Renzou found himself alone, he got out his letter again and finished writing it.

 _Honestly,_   _I don't think I wanna stay here. I don't wanna follow my family's footsteps or anythin' like that. My friends probably will, and because of that, sometimes I think I'll end up doin' it too. I don't wanna leave them, but at the same time..._

Renzou thought of his parents, of the older brother he'd never met, of Ryuuji's resolution… It all felt too heavy to deal with. It was unfair that he had to.

_…sometimes I just want to get away from it all. Keep that a secret though, will ya?_

_Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	11. May 15, 2000

The monastery smelled sweeter than normal as Rin busied himself in the kitchen. Yukio took a deep breath through his nose, smiling at the scent of his brother's cookies baking away in the oven. At Yukio's own request, Rin was making two batches. One was being sent over the mail to their friends and the other batch was to remain there at home. His brother had already told him that he'd tell Ryuuji to share so Yukio was happy Ren-kun would be getting cookies as well.

For now, Yukio was curled up on his bed, reading the letter for the third time with his school books on the mattress beside him. He had tried to concentrate on his homework but with Renzou's letter sitting beside him, fluttering in the small draft from the window as if it was waving for attention… Yukio couldn't help himself.

He pulled over one of his text books and placed a blank paper on top of it. He tapped the eraser of his pencil on his lips thoughtfully, wondering what he could say to him. Renzou… didn't have a dream. He didn't know what he wanted to do. Yukio was reminded almost immediately of his big brother. Rin didn't have a dream for the future either. Whenever their teachers asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up, Yukio's answer was always the same. He wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to help people.

Rin's answer, admittedly, was always the same too, but for some reason, their teachers never accepted it. Whenever his brother told them he wanted to stay with his family, they'd always try and press for a different answer. Rin never had an answer beyond that. Yukio never saw anything wrong with that. After all, there was no harm in wanting what you wanted, right?

Yukio's eyes lit up and he smiled as the words began coming to him.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_Papa and Rin are both doing a lot better and I think things are going to be okay now. Rin is making cookies today! He's going to send a bunch to Ryuuji, your friend, and he's going to ask him to share them. I hope you like them! My brother cooks very well!_

_About your dream, it's okay! I think that you should do what you want! Rin is like you too, kind of. He just wants to be with family. Our teachers always tell him that he has to think of something else he wants to do but I think that's a good answer. Because, it's your future, right? I want to be a doctor but if you want to just live in the city, that's okay! Maybe we can live in the same city one day and we'll still be friends and I'll give you free check-ups!_

_I'll definitely keep it a secret for you but I think that your friends will understand if you explain it to them. My Papa said that as long as you're honest and your words come from the heart, your feelings will reach them. I think it'll be okay and you don't have to worry, alright?_

_Hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	12. May 18, 2000

The door to his (unfortunately shared) room slammed open.

"Whatcha doin' there, brat?"

Renzou let out a quiet groan as he heard the dreaded voice of his brother. Kinzou seemed to take this as an encouragement for he immediately grinned. His eyes zeroed in on the messy pile of papers sprawled across the small table.

"You writin' another one of those letters? Man, can't believe you're keepin' up with that stuff. I got the worst partner when I was your age." Kinzou snorted.

 _Like a pig,_ Renzou thought, scowling as he saw his brother approach him with a purposeful grin. He tensed, and the moment he felt his brother prop himself up against him, he began squirming. Kinzou's chin dug into his scalp, making him growl in annoyance.

"Get off!" he complained.

Kinzou ignored him.

"So who'd ya get anyway? Heard you brats got sent cookies today. Don't tell me… Did ya actually get some cute girl?"

Kinzou snickered slightly and reached out to tilt one of the papers his way, leaning his weight on his six-year-old brother to keep him from struggling.

"Don't touch that!"

"Why not? Got somethin' to hide?"

Kinzou picked up the letter and Renzou lashed out with all his strength, trying to snatch it back, but Kinzou merely extended his arm out of reach.

"You're still too slow, little bro," he drawled.

"He's not the only one. Knew I'd find ya here."

The two jumped slightly at the sound of the unexpected voice. Kinzou and Renzou turned their heads and spotted Juuzou standing at the room's entrance scratching the back of his head as he looked at them with an exasperated smile.

"C'mere, ya little idiot. Leave Renzou alone."

"Crap," Kinzou muttered. His face paled and within seconds, both Renzou and his letter found themselves as free of Kinzou's touch. His brother was already trying to escape from the room by climbing out the window but Juuzou quickly caught hold of him and began pulling on his ear.

""M sorry, sorry, sorry! Crap, quit it! Let go!"

"As if. Pops wants to have a talk with ya about that last test grade you got. Don't think you're weaselin' out of it."

"Dammit." Kinzou groaned and began pleading out bargains but Juuzou continued to drag him out without mercy, only pausing once they stepped out of the room to spare Renzou a glance.

"I'll keep him out of your hair for a little while. Try an' finish your homework before I get back, alright?"

Renzou grinned widely.

"'Kay! Thanks, Juu-nii!"

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Glad to hear you're all doin' better! Also, the cookies were awesome! Tell your brother thanks for me, okay? He sounds like a real cool guy from what you've been tellin' me. I kinda envy ya._

_I guess my siblings aren't as bad as I make them out to be though. They can be a pain, but they're mostly nice, especially Juu-nii. He's my oldest brother and he's really nice. I like playin' with him, especially 'cause being with him means hangin' out with Mamushi-neesan who's really cute, even though she gets really angry all the time._

_Uh, she's not really my sister though, that's just what we call her 'cause we're really close. I do have an older sister though! Her name is Jun, but I don't see her all that often. She's older than Juu-nii so she's always hangin' out with her friends from high school and is busy. Juu-nii's in high school too but he's still around a lot, mostly 'cause he's in charge of tutorin' my older brothers (and me, I guess). I do pretty well though. My friends help me out when I need it._

_About what ya said in your last letter... Thanks. I'll keep it in mind. Maybe I'll tell them one of these days even though it's hard to talk about it. I'm glad I can at least talk to ya about it. I've never told anyone about any of this before, but it's easy to talk to ya._

_I know you have your brother an' all, but if ya ever need someone to talk to about things like this, you can always count on me. Gotta do something to earn those free check-ups right? Heheh._

_Well, hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	13. May 22, 2000

Yukio swung his legs as he braided the pink and blue string side by side. Rin was concentrating hard in the desk beside him, doing his best to make it as perfect as he could, but Yukio had found a happy rhythm to make his friendship bracelet. Of course, when the teacher had begun discussing what they were making, Yukio knew that Rin and he were in the same boat.

After what had happened last month, the other students in the class had taken to avoiding them since they were afraid of Rin. It hurt Yukio knowing that his brother was hurting and there was nothing he could do. But he was happy that Rin had Ryuuji-kun and that he had Ren-kun. At least they had somebody and they were the only people who really deserved these bracelets.

Yukio had deliberated over which colors to use. Blue had always been his favorite so he wanted to use that one. But then the moment he'd seen the pink thread in the large bucket, he'd picked it immediately. Memories of pink hearts on the first letter he ever got from Ren-kun filled his mind every time he saw the color pink. He hoped Ren-kun didn't mind.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I'm glad you liked the cookies! Rin is really glad too! He got a drawing from Ryuuji-kun and I really like seeing him this happy! I told him you said thanks too and he was even happier!_

_That's really nice of your brother. Rin mostly asks for help from me when it comes to school stuff but the rest of the time Rin is helping me. We both have good older brothers and I'm glad for that! It makes me feel a lot better about you and closer to you too._

_Today in arts and crafts, our teacher told us that friends are important and that we should do our best to keep those people close and make them happy. We made bracelets in class today and our teacher told us to give the bracelet to our closest friends. Together, Rin and I decided that we'd give them to you and Ryuuji-kun! You're my closest friend and I want to keep you close, even if we're far away. I know you drew hearts on the first letter because you thought I was a girl. Ryuuji-kun told my brother that. But that's okay. I'm not mad. Accidents happen, right? And I don't mind you still calling me Yuki-chan either. You're the only one who does it and that's okay with me!_

_I put pink on the bracelet because of the hearts though, I hope you don't mind. I can't help but think of you whenever I see pink and it makes me smile so I'm hoping that it makes you smile too. I really worked hard on it so I hope you like it!_

_Thank you, Ren-kun. I'm really glad you're my friend. You're a nice person and I'm really happy I got your name in this project and that you got mine. Whatever happens, we'll always be friends, right?_

_I hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	14. May 25, 2000

"…mean, pops?! Why'd we… this Order?"

"…et, ya little idiot. Pop's tryin' to explain."

 _That's Juu-nii's voice_. Renzou crept up closer to the room he'd heard the voice come from and pressed his ear against the door to listen to what was being said.

"… for the best. Naturally, the Houjou's will continue to stand by our side in order to lead the rest of the Myou Dha through this transition. Still, it's vital that each and every one of us participates if we want to keep our ways afloat. I expect all of you to do your best and support us through these times."

"What can we do to help?" Juuzou asked, as usual calm in the face of their father's words.

"I've already discussed this with your mother and we think it's for the best for you to start studying as early as possible. Thankfully, we managed to come to an agreement with the Principal. While the rest of us will undergo remedial training elsewhere, we have been given the opportunity to enroll you all at the Academy at no cost. You'll finish your basic schooling there and attend cram school as well so you can learn their ways. Though, the two of you and Renzou still have quite a while before you have to worry about that," Yazou explained.

"Are you kiddin' me?"

That was Jun's voice.

"I'm about to graduate this year. You seriously want me to change schools just like that? That's gotta be a joke!"

"Sis…"

"Shima-san?"

Renzou jerked away from the door in surprise and nearly bit his tongue upon spotting Konekomaru.

"Dude! Don't startle me!" Renzou hissed quietly at the other, pressing a hand to his chest.

"Sorry…" Konekomaru looked a little solemn. It was an expression that both annoyed Renzou and made him shift on his feet feel guilty.

"No… it's fine. Did ya want somethin'?"

Konekomaru peered up at him with a small frown. His hand pulled the sleeve of his shirt down a bit, his fingers curling around the fabric in a nervous motion. "I'm worried… about Bon and about everyone else… Aren't you?" the smaller boy asked.

Renzou could hear his sister's voice steadily rising from the other side of the door, and their dad was beginning to match her in that same tone. Renzou hid a grimace and reached for Konekomaru's wrist before tugging him away from the corridor.

"Things are gonna be fine," he told him. "Don't worry so much!" He smiled at him, beaming brightly.

Renzou did his best to try to distract his friend. He didn't bring up Ryuuji, or any of the other things that had come up today. There was no point about worrying about things like that. It was adult stuff. Whatever happened with the others was none of their business.

 _Bon really oughta learn to see it that way,_ Renzou thought exasperatedly.

When he finally got back to his room, his brothers still weren't there. He frowned for a second but he followed his own advice and decided to get ready for bed without questioning it. As he was changing clothes, he finally remembered that they had received their letters this morning. He hadn't had a chance to look at his yet. Taking advantage of the fact that he was alone, Renzou quickly opened it up and began to read it. Seeing the bracelet that came along with it made him smile, and a little thrill ran through him once he finished putting it on. The pink color of the bracelet was silly and kinda girly, but he didn't mind it all that much. Of course, he was a little embarrassed that Yuki-chan had found out about the mishap but he had expected Ryuuji to rat him out after the other day.

He wasted no time writing his response.

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Thanks for the bracelet! I like it a bunch. Hope you like what I sent ya too. Have you ever done origami? We do it over here from time to time. It's supposed to help us meditate because we're concentratin' on doin' the same movements over and over again. I usually hate it when we have to go and meditate, but I like doin' this. It's nice. Keeps my hands busy too, which is the only reason I don't end up fallin' asleep like usual._

_In case you can't really tell, what I sent ya is supposed to be a lotus flower. It's the one we know how to do best for obvious reasons. Thought it'd be fittin', heh. 'Cause it's pink._

_Glad you aren't mad about the whole confusin' ya for a girl thing by the way. At least I didn't take as long as Ryuuji to figure it out! He's reeeeal slow about these things. I figured it out after the first time you wrote back to me. Also, glad ya don't mind me callin' you Yuki-chan after all of this. It'd be kinda of weird to switch all of the sudden. I've already gotten completely used to it. You're the only person who calls me Ren-kun too, ya know._

_Anyway, gotta say I agree with ya. I'm also happy I got ya as my partner. You're pretty awesome, Yuki-chan. I'm always lookin' forward to your letters. So don't worry, we're definitely always goin' to be friends. Promise._

_Well, hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	15. May 29, 2000

Yukio ran his small fingers over the pink paper flower. He was seated in his room, on his bed, with Renzou's most recent letter sitting folded in his lap. He felt like there were butterflies fluttering in his stomach. No one besides his family had ever given him a gift and to receive something so nice… Something that Ren-kun made himself… Yukio had to smile. He twirled it between his fingers and he didn't really know what to do.

He just really sort of wanted to watch it. Yukio was scared to touch it too much, lest he undo it, but he was so enraptured by it. Just by looking at it, he felt like he could see Renzou's hands folding paper and putting it together. He wondered if he'd made it while thinking of Yukio or if he'd just grabbed one he had made before.

Either way, it made Yukio smile. Especially because it was pink.

He didn't know how long it took for him to switch his position to lying down in his bed, watching the flower as he held it above his face. He didn't know how long he played with the flower in his hands before he lost his grip and it fell down, bouncing off his glasses as he gave a surprised yelp.

"Oops." Yukio adjusted his glasses and turned his head, relief spreading through him when he saw the paper flower sitting on the sheets unharmed. He smiled.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_This is so cool! The flower was really pretty and I'm keeping it on my desk from now on, okay? I promise I'll take good care of it! I want to look at it every day because it's something you gave me and so it's precious. I'm really happy you gave me one. Thank you!_

_That sounds really good. I don't really know how to meditate but do you know how to make other things with origami? I know my dad knows how to make a crane. He made it once for us a long time ago. I don't know where it went. But I'd really like to learn how to make these! Maybe when we live in the same city like we said, you can teach me one day, okay? You have to promise!_

_We have a big cherry blossom tree in front of the monastery and it was in full bloom just a couple weeks ago but most of the petals have fallen down by now. Do you have cherry blossom trees near your temple? If you don't, maybe next year I can send you one of the flowers. I know there's a way to press them but I don't know how to do it. Maybe Papa does. If he doesn't then I'll try and find a book on how to do it the next time we go to the library. Or maybe we have a book on it here! But I don't think so. All the books that we have here in the storage are old and dusty and all religion stuff. So I think I will have to go to the library after all._

_I always look forward to your letters too! I wish we can meet soon. I like writing to you, but I really want to play with you and stuff. We have a playground that me and my brother and my Papa always go to nearby and I think it would be fun if you and Ryuuji-kun could come too. I'm very happy we're going to be friends for always. Even if I start making new friends, you'll always be my first and best so I never want to lose you! You're important and precious to me and one day we'll play together and you can teach me how to do origami and I can make sure you don't get sick._

_I hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	16. June 1, 2000

Renzou's face heated up slightly as he stared at the letter in front of him.

_"Important and precious"? Sheesh. Sometimes ya really sound like a girl, Yuki-chan._

The six-year-old couldn't believe his friend had written that. Even though he agreed with the sentiment, to put it in those words was completely embarrassing. He'd have understood if the other had called him awesome or cool, but "important and precious" sounded weird. Nice, but weird.

"Hey, there ya are!"

"Bon?"

Renzou jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and turned to look at Ryuuji whom had slid the door to his room open.

"What's up? Thought ya were goin' to go reply to Rin."

"I was. Still am. It's just that I wanna send him a photo of us this time and was gonna go ask my mom for some now. Want me to see if she can get some for ya too?"

"Huh?"

Renzou was caught off-guard but he quickly agreed to it.

"Good idea, Bon! We should get some for Koneko-san too!"

"Yeah! Wanna wait in my room? I'll meetcha there after I go tell mom."

"Gotcha!"

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Guess what? We're sending ya guys pictures of us! It was Ryuuji's idea. Well, more like your brother's idea since he's the one who mentioned it, but whatever._

_I didn't feel like writing it out here, but I wrote on the back of the pictures so you know who's who. Sent ya a picture of me, one of my friends, and one of my siblings, 'cept for my lil sister 'cause she hasn't been born yet. It's supposed to happen soon but I don't know when. Hope you guys can show us what you look like too! All I know is that you're really pale but that's 'bout it._

_Glad ya liked what I sent ya. I'll definitely teach ya how to make 'em someday, okay? It's real easy._

_We don't have any cherry blossom trees near our temple, but we've definitely seen them before. We went to the festival the other week. Did you? You're lucky you've got one right outside your house though. Anyway, what's the point of pressing flowers? Never heard of someone doin' that. Doesn't that just kill them? That's what it sounds like, but I'm probably wrong. Tell me about this more when you reply!_

_It really sucks that we live so far away from each other. I hope we can meet one day, 'cause I wanna play with ya too. Have you played baseball before? We play that a lot over here since we've got a lot of space to run around. It's usually just the three of us, but my brothers sometime join us too. We don't really have many friends from school or anything. Our temple's got a bit of a bad reputation, ya see. But it's no big deal. I've got Ryuuji, Koneko, and Yuki-chan, an' that's all that matters. _♥__

_Well, hope to hear you from soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	17. June 5, 2000

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_We really love your pictures! Thank you! You look really different from what I thought you'd look like but I still like it! You look really nice._

_We went to this playground next to the monastery and took a lot of pictures. The one I sent you has me, Rin, and Papa! I'm the one with the glasses. I can't see well without them. I bet you can tell who Rin and Papa are after that without a problem, right? Haha!_

_Your flower is on my desk. I like it there where I can see it. The rest of your letters I keep in a box safe under my brother's bed. We have a bunk bed and I sleep on the top so we keep our letter boxes together at the bottom._

_I think it's a way of keeping a flower like something that makes you happy. But, now that you say it, it does kill it. Maybe I shouldn't do that. After all, if you really love something, you should want to keep it alive, right? I like watching the tree bloom during spring so I'll just wait to see the flowers alive instead of pressing one and killing it. Next year when they bloom again, I'll send you lots of pictures instead._

_I've played baseball before at school! I'm not very good at it because my glasses kept getting knocked off and I couldn't swing fast enough. But Rin said to keep trying and with practice, I'll get better. So I'll keep trying so that maybe we can play baseball together some day! I don't have any friends at school either. All I have is Papa, Rin, and Ren-kun. So if we've got each other, it should all be alright!_

_I hope to hear from you soon! _♥__

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

Yukio finished coloring in the heart with his pink crayon and folded up the letter. He slipped it, and the picture, into the envelope and closed it. His eyes wandered to the new addition to his desk's décor.

The picture Renzou had sent him was propped up against his lamp with the origami flower sitting at its base, keeping it upright. Rin had done something similar with Ryuuji's picture at his desk.

Yukio smiled, matching the smile that his friend held in the photo. He'd never been happier than in the last couple months he'd been exchanging letters with his now best friend. He felt stronger. Smarter. He had learned a lot while writing to Ren-kun and he really hoped that they'd never stop. It was easy to envision writing letters and one day meeting Renzou even when they were older. He wanted it more than anything.

 _Until next time._  Yukio looked at the envelope in his hand and smiled brightly.

_Hopefully that won't be too far off!_


	18. December 22, 2003

"Whatcha doin'?"

Renzou looked up from what he had been doing and glanced at his door. The sight of his little sister made him instantly smile.

"I'm wrapping up a present for a friend of mine," he told Yumi as he watched her approach.

"It's pink!" Yumi said with a small frown. She looked up at him questioningly.

Renzou chuckled slightly. "Yeah, it is." He glanced at the small rectangular present he had just finished wrapping up, running a hand over the smooth, glossy pink paper.

"It's a bit of a habit of ours, sending each other pink things," he explained.

Yumi giggled. "You're weird, Ren-nii. Christmas presents are suppos'd be red and green. Pink's for spring!" she told him wisely.

"Oh?" Renzou grinned at her words and picked up a red origami flower he had on his desk. "I'll keep that in mind when I'm wrapping your next present, squirt." She grimaced at the nickname but her expression quickly shifted back into a smile as he handed her the flower. "Lucky for me, I had one of these on hand. Would've been pretty embarrassing of me to make that mistake."

"I can keep it?" Yumi asked in excitement, looking at the carefully folded flower with awe.

"'Course. But anyway, what are ya doin' here? Thought ya were supposed to be with Kin-nii."

"He went out," Yumi reported promptly. She tucked the small flower behind her ear and looked at him expectantly. Though her long tresses kept it from falling, it was a precarious hold. Renzou reached over to fix it as best as he could.

"Beautiful. And so?"

Pleased, Yumi beamed at him and continued. "He went out to go see Gou-nii, but said I couldn't go with him. When's he comin' back? I miss him."

Yumi was referring to Gouzou, of course. Their older brother had been out of commission for the past few days, holed up at the infirmary in one of the Order's facilities from what Renzou had heard. A mission gone bad or something like that; Renzou hadn't paid much attention to the explanation, all he knew was that it hadn't been critical, thankfully.

"He'll be back soon. Maybe in another week. He definitely won't miss New Year's," he assured his sister.

"You sure?"

"Mhmm. Well, since Kin-nii's missin' why don't ya stay around here with me? I'm gonna finish writin' a letter and then let's see if we can find somethin' to do."

"Can ya teach me how to make these flowers?"

"Only if you promise to help me pull a prank on Kin-nii later."

"Deal!"

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Happy birthday! Hope this letter gets to ya on time this year! Also hope you and your brother like what we sent ya. I know it ain't much, but we thought you guys would like somethin' to do together. I feel like all you've been doin' lately is hittin' the books, and I know ya like readin' and all but even you need a break from it every once in a while, right?_

_That said, I still ended up sendin' ya another book to read. Juu-nii helped me out a bit with this one. I really wanted to getcha somethin' nice this year, and I know you've been curious about traditional Chinese medicine, so we gotcha a whole handbook on it. It looks a little complicated, but since it's Yuki-chan, I figured ya wouldn't mind at all._

_Man, can't believe the year's comin' to an end already. This time next December will be our last before we head on to middle school. Wonder what that's gonna be like. I'm thinkin' of gettin' a part-time job then, see if I start savin' up some money. Juu-nii's been real nice and keeps treating us to these awesome snacks whenever he gets paid, but there's a ton of stuff I wanna buy too, and I also gotta save up if I want to move to the city. Thinking about all of this makes me wish that time would just hurry up!_

_But anyway tell me more about that project you've been doin' for school. Sounds interesting. I'm not really into stuff like demons or whatever, but ghost stories are cool! I know a bunch of them. We used to scare some of the kids at school with them a while back to get them to leave us alone. Well, that was mostly me actually, but Ryuuji and Koneko have a mean streak too sometimes, if ya can imagine. We don't do it anymore though. Don't wanna keep spreading any bad rumors about us now that we finally moved out of our old place. Gotta say, I'm never gonna stop feelin' grateful about this! It takes way less time to get to school now, which means I get to sleep in. Also, less bugs! _♥_ Life's good, man._

_Well, hope to hear from ya soon. Merry Christmas, hope your birthday's been awesome, and in case you don't get to reply in time, Happy New Year's too!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	19. December 27, 2003

They had to have played Menko ten times by now. Rin was in love with the game that had been sent to them by their friends in Kyoto but Yukio needed a breather. While Rin was cooking dinner, the younger of the two had retreated to their room with his own present, a present that Rin had called boring but Yukio found utterly fascinating.

That, and he couldn't stop playing with the pink bookmark that had come tucked underneath its cover.

Lately, any gift they sent each other had some sort of pink attached to it. It was a habit they picked up starting with the friendship bracelet he'd sent to Ren-kun as a child. They never stopped and they weren't really embarrassed by it. Of course, Rin had teased Yukio about the various pink items he's collected over the years but it was okay. Rin just didn't understand.

To be honest, Yukio didn't understand either. All he knew was that whenever he saw something pink in the store, all he wanted to do was send it to his friend. Of course he didn't always do that, but he was starting to gain an affinity for the color. He had a couple pink shirts and cardigans that dotted his closet and he didn't mind. It only felt like he held Ren-kun closer.

But middle school was starting soon and Yukio knew he was going to get a lot busier. He wanted to hold Ren-kun closer than ever. His eyes darted to his desk where several books from his exorcist training sat beside Renzou's letter. Yukio got up, passed a finger over the pink origami lotus flower, and put the books aside. Just for right now. He'd get back to studying later.

He had a letter to write.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_Thank you so much for the presents! The package arrived just on time. When the mailman came this morning with three heavy packages, he looked a bit tired. It seemed like he'd been working hard so Nii-san gave him some Christmas cookies as thanks._

_I've really enjoyed the book so far! There's so much information in here and it's so interesting to read. I'm learning a lot and I've only gotten through one chapter. Send my thanks to Juuzou-san as well for helping you. Speaking of presents, Nii-san and I sent ours over there about a week ago. I hope it arrived there in time. I got something for you, and Nii-san got something for Ryuuji-kun and then Father helped us pick out something for the three of you._

_A part-time job, huh? That would be pretty nice. I think you would do well in a store or a restaurant. Somewhere with customers. You have a nice charisma and I'm sure they'd hire you in an instant. Then again, you'll probably never leave the girls alone so probably not a good idea. _♥_ Just make sure not to get too hard of a job. Middle school might be tough and I don't want to see you overworked. Nii-san is also talking about part-time jobs but Father told him that it wasn't a good idea, not until he got his grades up. I still worry about Nii-san sometimes but hopefully things will be better in middle school._

_About the project, it's really nothing special but I am spending more time with Father lately as a result. And of course you would! Please don't scare little kids, Ren-kun. You should charm them with your smile instead. I'm glad the rumors have stopped, though. I'm happy to hear you're doing better and enjoying yourself. The rumors must have been hurtful. The city is good regarding bugs but be careful around summertime. I bet it's just as bad. Make sure you carry around some bug spray._

_Thank you again for the gifts. Nii-san is calling me again to play so I'll have to bring this letter to a close. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you had a good time, Ren-kun! Hope to hear from you again soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> menko - a japanese card game


	20. January 5, 2004

_Sheesh, Yuki-chan…_

Renzou smiled slightly as he stared at himself in the mirror. The necklace Yuki-chan had sent him was hanging off his neck.

"This is as girly as it gets, heh…" Despite his words, Renzou couldn't help but to feel happy at the sight of the small pink orb sitting across his chest. It had been a week since he'd gotten it and he still couldn't help but to stare at it every time he got dressed. He was growing used to the unfamiliar weight, and he found comfort in the reminder that his friend had been thinking of him when he'd bought this. He felt tempted to get him something like this in return, but Yuki-chan didn't seem like the type of guy who wore jewelry. Renzou, on the other hand, was growing very fond of it. Kinzou had gotten really into music lately, so a lot of music magazines had started to pop up around their house and Renzou kept seeing the artists on the covers with their hairs dyed in all types of color, wearing flashy clothes and flashier jewelry. Some of them even had their ears pierced. They all looked so cool…

The necklace around his neck made him feel just as cool. Still, he didn't want to show it off to anyone, especially not his brothers. Kinzou teased him enough already, and the last thing Renzou wanted was for his brother to tease him about wearing a girly-looking necklace, or worse—to tease him about wanting to imitate him.

 _As if…_ Renzou thought with a derisive scoff. He finished getting dressed, and after deciding to ditch his morning chores, he headed straight for his desk to go write the reply he hadn't had the chance to until now.

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Thanks for the presents, especially the monopoly! This game's super fun, and man, Koneko keeps beating us almost every time. We're really enjoying it. Well, not the losin' part obviously, but we're getting' better at this, heheh. Liked the necklace too. I'm wearing it right now, but I keep it hidden under my clothes most of the time. Don't want Kin-nii to get a look, 'cause he'd tease the heck out of me, that jerk. It's cool though, I really do like it, I promise._

_Everythin' did arrive on time, by the way. Got here the day after I sent ya that letter. Sorry I got back to you so late, by the way. Things got a bit busy with New Year's and all. I'm sooo stuffed, and really tired too, but it's been fun. Wish ya were here though. Bet it would be a lot funner with you guys around. I kinda feels like ya are sometimes considerin' how much we talk about you guys. Ryuuji tries not to, but he ends up goin' on and on about your brother almost all the time. It's kinda funny. Koneko's weird though. He still obsessively writes to this Kyouya dude but never really talks about him. You know that kid? I've been meanin' to ask ya about that since forever but it always slips off my mind. What's the deal with him?_

_Anyway, Yumi keeps askin' about ya lately. I've been talking to her about ya for the past week 'cause she came into my room the other day when I was writin' that letter to you. She's gotten completely interested in ya, not that I'm surprised. I'm sure you'll be surrounded by girls by this time next year, and it'll be even better in middle school~ Man, I can't wait 'til we graduate! But anyway, Yumi said she wants to send ya a flower next time. I've been teachin' her, ya see. We'll probably send some next week, but you don't gotta keep them. Don't want to fill you with clutter, ya know?_

_Anyway, I'm happy to hear ya liked the book! Was hoping ya would. There's something else I've been wantin' to save up for but that's gonna have to wait once I get that job. It's a secret though, so I ain't tellin' no matter how much you ask!_

_A store or a restaurant sounds like a good idea, but it's gotta be something cool. Convenience stores kinda suck because ya get all kinds of customers. Something like a cafe would be great! _♥_  _ _Doubt I'll be able to find anythin' that good though. I'll probably be walkin' dogs or somethin', ugh. Ah, don't worry too much about my grades by the way. I do just fine, and it's not like it's that big of a deal. You know I don't got any plans to get into a high-end university when all of this is over. Any job is fine by me just as long as I don't have to stay over here. The problem for now is gettin' one, heh._

_Well, since I ran out of things to say, I'll just end this before it gets any longer (sorry!). Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	21. January 8, 2004

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, as usual, thanks for sticking around with us thus far! Don't forget to check out the extra note at the end!

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I'm glad you guys are enjoying yourselves! Nii-san was worried that you guys wouldn't understand the rules but I assured him that it wasn't that difficult. About the necklace, I hope it isn't too girly. When I bought it, the store clerk asked me if I was buying it for my girlfriend. It was embarrassing but I really couldn't see anything else there that reminded me of you. So I'm glad you like it after all. I was worried!_

_I don't mind the tardiness. After all, things were busy here too. Father's coat caught fire due to a misplaced firework but other than that, the holidays were rather enjoyable! Nii-san made a big feast so it was all delicious. One day you should come for the holidays. Nii-san's food is the best! Cooking is his only skill, heh!_

_About Kyouya, I assume you mean Hibari Kyouya? I'm surprised. He never spoke to anyone and was always impossible. He skipped school numerous times but he was always in the top five in class. So even when he tried to pick fights with my brother, the teachers wouldn't do anything about him. He transferred out last year though and, to my knowledge, moved out of the city entirely to a smaller town. I believe his parents went to work overseas so they probably wanted to leave Hibari-san in a smaller town rather than a big city. However, this is all just speculation and I'm not really fond of gossip. Why not just ask Konekomaru-kun yourself?_

_I don't mind keeping the flower! It'd be rude to throw it away. And besides, it's from your sister so I wouldn't throw it away anyway. I'm NOT looking forward to being surrounded by girls, you know. It's all so awkward and no matter how I try to convince them I'm not interested, they keep coming! I don't know how you deal with it..._

_A secret, huh? I can't say I'm not curious but I hope it won't cost you too much money. I'd rather you save it for yourself than spend a lot of money on me. Residences in the city are expensive after all. _♥__

_I don't mind if your letters are long, Ren-kun. I guess it makes me feel closer to you. I wish you were here too._

_I guess I've run out of things to say as well. I hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

"Yukio, are you done?" A knock accompanied the familiar voice and the young boy looked back to see his father entering the room. Shiro crossed his arms and looked over Yukio. "Well, don't you look grown up."

Yukio stood and smoothed out his new blazer. A red and black tie was fastened neatly under his collar and black slacks fit well and held up by a black belt.

"Does it all fit okay?" Yukio pushed up his glasses as he looked down at himself.

"It looks just fine. You finished that letter?" Shiro nodded towards the desk.

"Oh, yeah!" Yukio grabbed the letter and quickly folded it. He slipped it into the previously addressed envelope.

"Good. We'll put it in the mail on our way out." Shiro grinned. "Shura's waiting for us at the Academy."

Yukio wrinkled his nose at the mention of the name but he nodded. He'd be starting to train with actual guns soon so he couldn't skimp out on the lessons… Things were only going to get more difficult from here on out but it would be fine as long as he could still write to Ren-kun. Yukio held the letter tighter to his chest.

"Ready to go?"

Yukio took a deep breath and nodded. He grabbed his bag and followed his father out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The format of the following chapters is going to change a bit for a while. Make sure to keep in mind that there will be **no timeskipping** within those chapters. We'll be sure to tell you when the next time skip happens. Thanks for reading!


	22. August 2006

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Renzou is currently 13, Yukio is 12.

 

_August 10, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_I got the job! Oh, man, you have no idea how excited I am about all of this. I've been lookin' forward to this day for way too long! Still can't believe I managed to convince them to hire me, bein' a first year and all. Don't think they'll let me keep it up once we're back in school, but maybe if I do well enough? Hopefully. My parents don't seem to mind, so that kinda helps for now. Hate to say it, but Kin-nii also ended up bein' helpful for once. He had a friend hook me up with it, but now I owe him a favor, ugh. I seriously thought about goin' for that job at the ice cream shop instead, but I couldn't resist in the end. Clothing stores, man! This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity kinda thing! I just couldn't bear to turn it down, no matter what._

_But okay, so the first day… I was kinda nervous of course, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, especially once all the chicks started comin' in! 'Course they totally ignored me and I'm not supposed to bother the customers, but man, this is totally heaven!_ _♥_ _And that cutie from my class, Suzu-chan, totally dropped by too! I got the chance to talk to her a little since she recognized me and all. I managed to make her smile and she said she was gonna drop by again later this week. Aah, I'm so lucky! Seriously, everything about this job is so freakin' great! I haven't been this excited about doin' anythin' in forever. Seriously not looking forward to going back to school, but oh well. Gonna enjoy this while I can and save up. You should see the awesome kind of things they sell around here!_

_Anyway, to answer your question, yeah, yeah… I'm kinda done with summer homework, okay? I just gotta do a bit more, don't worry. I'll finish it in time. Even if ya hadn't reminded me, I got those two at my back too, 'member? I'll be fine. Suppose I shouldn't ask how you're doin', should I? With ya aimin' for the top spot of the class, ya can't afford to slack off, I know. Still, I'm gonna keep telling ya until gets through your head: don't stress too much over it! You're gonna do just fine. Take it easy every once in a while, okay?_

_Well, gotta wrap this up for now. Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_

* * *

_August 13, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! You have to make sure to sincerely thank Kinzou-san for this! I'm glad you didn't get the job at the ice cream shop, though. You would have been snacking on the toppings all day. _♥_ At least this way, you can get discounts for nice clothes. Even if they don't let you stay, do your best with the time you've got!_

_It sounds like you're having fun! I got a bit of a job too. Father introduced me to it but it's not as reliable as yours. I sort of go whenever they call me. It's good for homework since I'm not out all day but not for money. Regardless, I'll save up what I get! I had a lot of homework this vacation so I'm thankful. I wouldn't want to be too overworked._

_Sorry for worrying so much. I suppose I do worry about you a lot. I know you can manage it. Even though you're a slacker, you get it done on time. I guess all your procrastinating just makes me anxious from all the way over here! Still, it's just best to get it done earlier so you don't have to worry. You can balance your homework and work, right? Put your school work as priority!_

_Sorry, there I go again. Nii-san calls me mom and says I nag too much. I can't help it though. He hasn't done any of his homework and is always reading manga! Sometimes I think it's his fault I'm like this, what with the way he acts all the time…_

_With my job, I've got plenty of time so I've worked out my schedule. I should be done with homework tomorrow! Doing a little bit each day really gets it done quickly. I wish Nii-san will understand that. He's going to be doing everything the last week. Of course I'm going to keep studying until school starts up again, but I promise I'll relax a bit today._

_Do your best! Hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

* * *

_August 17, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_You got a job too? Not sure whether I should congratulate ya or berate ya! What's the job anyway? Glad it doesn't take up much of your time at least, since you've got enough on your plate. I know you're good at pacin' yourself, but isn't this going a little overboard? You're way too hard on yourself, man! You're gonna start growin' gray hairs early if you keep up this pace. Seriously, I'm all for gettin' spending money, but in your case, if the job gets to be too much for you, just quit. You're gonna be a doctor, right? You'll be fine as long as ya keep your grades up, so don't sweat the small stuff._

_As for my grades, seriously quit worryin' so much. Dunno about your brother, but at least I'm doin' fine enough to breeze through my classes without my parents gettin' on my case. I don't have to try as hard as ya either since I don't have big plans for the future. Still, I'll do my best for ya, Yuki-chan. Just as long as you promise not to overwork yourself!_

_Anyway, let's quit talkin' about school for now, okay? We're still in summer vacation! Let's enjoy it while we can. Did ya at least get a chance to go anywhere nice yet? I'm thinkin' of draggin' Ryuuji and Koneko to the beach once I have a day off. Then again, maybe I'll invite Suzu-chan with me. _♥_ Gotta talk to her a bit more before I can do that, I guess, hahah…_

_Oh, yeah. I ended up findin' out what Kin-nii wanted from me a lot sooner than I thought I would. He's apparently serious about wantin' to start a music band so he wants me to help him set up for rehearsals an' advertise his performances with my classmates and stuff. It's a complete pain in the ass, but I owe him one, so I guess all I can do is complain about it now. Can't believe my parents are lettin' him get away with this._

_Well, I'll tell ya more about how this is goin' next time. Don't think it'll end up workin' out 'cause Kin-nii's kind of an idiot, but we'll see. Take care and hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_

* * *

_August 21, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_Now who's worrying too much? It's fine! I'm managing well and I've got it all planned out. I can handle it. And I'm definitely going to keep my grades up so you don't need to worry about that. Since my Father introduced me to this job, however, it'd be rude to just quit. And besides, I want to do it! It'll be fine._

_Again, sorry for being a bit overbearing. Nii-san complains about it too. I know you don't have big plans, but what ARE you planning on doing in the future? I know you always talk about moving to the city and stuff, but there's a lot of opportunities here that you could take advantage of. Maybe if you study business, you can open up your own clothes shop! I think you'd be good at it._

_As for me, I promise I'll keep to my plan. I won't overwork myself and everything should be fine._

_We don't go on vacation very often since Father's job is rather demanding. But we spent a day last week in Southern Cross Mall and that was fun. You should have seen Nii-san bouncing from store to store. I think he was more excited about the mall than anyone else there. Have fun at the beach, though! And don't be creepy with girls you barely know. It's best to go with friends anyway. You don't want to make Ryuuji-kun and Konekomaru-kun feel left out. If you're going to take a girl, maybe Yumi-chan would be the best option. _♥__

_Kinzou-san starting a band? What kind of music does he play? That's really interesting. I didn't think someone like him would be allowed to do that, considering your family is a family of monks. And don't be so down about it. You could meet really interesting people while helping him out. Maybe even a cute girl fan if Kinzou-san gets popular enough. Do your best and encourage him to do the same and I'm sure things will work out!_

_Meanwhile, over here, it's just as I thought. Nii-san is rushing through his homework last minute. He's begged me to copy my homework about seven times today. Could you tell Ryuuji-kun about this? Maybe Nii-san would be more inclined to listen to him than me. Honestly, it's getting tiresome._

_I hope things are going well for you by the time this letter arrives. Do your best in your work and don't forget school starts up again soon! Take care and hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

_PS. You did finish your homework, right?_

* * *

_August 25, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_I'm not gonna stop worryin', but I trust ya. I had a feelin' you would say that anyway. You've never been a quitter like me. Still, if things get too tough on ya, you can always come and complain to me. Don't hold back, okay? I seriously don't get how ya get the patience to deal with all the things that ya do, but if ya let all that stress pile up, it's bound to get overwhelmin' one of these days._

_Sheesh, this is why I'm the one that has to worry about ya, not the other way around._

_Anyway, I finished my homework, okay? I did! Well, it's more like I told Ryuuji about your brother for ya, but then he got on my case too. Ugh. Well, I was almost done anyway... I was workin' on it 'cause I promised ya I would! Still, when that guy gets on my case, it's the worst. He's so damn relentless! I don't mind it when it's you though. Yuki-chan is much sweeter than Bon. _♥_ Trust me, you're definitely not as overbearing as he is._

_About my plans for the future... Well, openin' up my own clothes shop sounds too ambitious... It's fine if I just get a job at one of these kinds of places though. For now, I'll just do my best with the part-time job I've got and any other I end up havin' later on until I graduate from high school. Hopefully, by the time I move up to the city, I'll be able to get a job easily with all the experience I'm gainin'._

_But seriously, it's way too early to think about these things. You've gotta lighten up! Speakin' of which, don't be mean, Yuki-chan! Is it that bad to want to go on a date with someone? Girls are the best! They're nice to look at, and kind too, and when you manage to get them to smile, it's the best sensation in the world. Don't you wonder what it'll be like to kiss one sometimes? Jun-nee always looks the happiest when she has a boyfriend so it must be nice. Once we're back at school, don't be reclusive, okay? You guys aren't kids anymore and the bullyin's stopped, hasn't it? Plus with your brother being in a different class from ya, I'm sure none of the girls are scared to approach ya anymore. Give it a chance!_

_To get back to your question, dunno what music Kin-nii plans to play yet. I've been tryin' to avoid him like a plague lately. His room's a mess though. I'm surprised mom isn't givin' him an earful about it. There's papers all over the place! I caught a glimpse of some the lyrics he's been writin'. They're awful, hahah. Don't think this is gonna end up goin' anywhere, so it'll be a no-go on the meeting cute girl fans opportunity. Honestly, I don't even want to advertise that I'm related to him... Maybe I can weasel out of it somehow. We'll see._

_Anyway, take care and keep my words in mind. Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	23. September 2006

_September 2, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I'm sweeter, huh? I bet you say that to all the girls. _♥__

_And you know Ryuuji-kun is just trying to help, right? Don't be so hard on him. He's just worried about you. But thank you for delivering my message for me. Nii-san complained to me earlier but he's been working harder ever since so your hard work paid off. Who knew we could help each other from so far away?_

_Don't worry, Ren-kun. I know you're here for me and I won't forget that. In fact, the first week of school has been rather hectic and all I could think of was how you could possibly handle it. The morning of my first day was just filled with girls asking me how my vacation went and if I went anywhere special. They seemed a little let down when I told them I just did homework and went to the mall. I don't know what I said wrong. How do you do this kind of thing? Talking with girls is nerve-wracking! Especially when I'm on my own. I couldn't imagine kissing one. Sometimes I wish Nii-san was in the same class just so I could have someone to go to when it gets to be too much. They just don't leave me alone!_

_There's nothing wrong with aiming high, Ren-kun. I think you really could run a clothes shop if you wanted to! You've got the charisma and the smarts for it. Not to mention I'm sure you know how to sell something. You just seem like that kind of guy. Don't be afraid to be ambitious since it's your future. There's nothing wrong with going the extra mile._

_About Kinzou-san, I think you should help him. He was the one that got you the job, you know? You should be grateful. Put your all into it and if it doesn't work out, he can't blame you for it. But if you try and run off, I'm sure he'll turn it around on you. You don't want that on your back, do you? Just do your best with what you've got and it'll be fine._

_Anyway, first week and I've already got tons of homework to do. Luckily with school back in session, Father is lightening my load for work so I'll have time to study for exams and such that are coming up in a few months. How has school been going for you so far? Well, I hope._

_I hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

* * *

_September 6, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Oops, you caught me. Heheh. _♥_ Anyway, it's not like I say that type of things to all the girls. Just... some of them..._

_Like Suzu-chan~! _♥_ And guess who just got a date with her this weekend? That's right! I managed to ask her out and she said yes! I'm so freakin' excited, man! Gonna be tellin' ya all about this in my next letter, heheh._

_Oh man, I've been waitin' to tell ya that all week! Glad ya finally got back to me. Also glad I managed to help ya out with your brother! I went through all that effort after all... If it hadn't worked out I might've cried...!_

_Anyway, I knew it~ I totally knew it! You're a pretty popular guy these days, aren't ya? Listen, don't be so nervous about it. Well, I guess there's some girls that like the shy-type, but just try to keep your cool and smile at them. Try to switch the conversation around so you don't have to talk 'bout yourself. Ask them questions! Girls love that. And if you manage to land a date like me, don't freak out! If even my idiot brother can manage to kiss a girl without messin' up, you can definitely do it, Yuki-chan!_

_...Holy crap, even though I said that, now I'm freakin' out a bit. I'm so excited about this weekend!_

_I think I'm gonna be pretty useless regardin' school stuff until I get this over with. What the hell do you do on a first date? We agreed to meet at the mall, so we're just gonna walk around and maybe get something to eat, and then… I have no idea, man. I've been thinking about this all week and still can't wrap my head around it..._

_Oh, yeah! Keep this a secret from your brother, okay? I haven't told Ryuuji or Koneko yet. I'll get to that... maybe. I wanna see how this ends up workin' out first. Let's just keep it all between us for now._

_Also, 'bout your advice, I'll keep it in mind. But I'll worry about it later. For now, I'm gonna go tackle my pile of homework (I'm doin' my best, okay! Won't be entirely useless!), and worry more about this weekend._

_Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_

* * *

_September 18, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I'm sorry I got back to you so late. Homework and studying has been draining me and it's been difficult to really sit down and write your letter. I feel bad for making you wait so long!_

_How did the date go? Well, I hope. Did you have any other dates with her yet?_

_I tried to follow your advice but things have been difficult with the girls. They really insist on learning more about me and I've just taken to avoiding them as much as I could. It's rather troublesome considering I sometimes have to retreat to the nurse's office. The nurse really knows me well by now._

_No kisses yet and I don't think I'll land a date any time soon. I have to focus more on my school work and I don't really have the time to date._

_I won't tell my brother, so not to worry. Nii-san is busy wrapped up in his own world. Getting him to do homework is difficult enough and he tends to avoid me after school these days. He's hanging out with Father more often and dodging homework._

_Honestly, this week has been pretty boring! I've been working and nothing really special has happened so I don't really know what else to add to this. I really hope your date went well and you're doing well in school. _♥__

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

* * *

_September 22, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Heh, I knew it had to be somethin' like that. You're such a bookworm, man. Rather than feelin' bad for makin' me wait, how about ya take it easy and quit makin' me worry? Would it kill ya to try and relax every once in a while? I hope you're really toning it down on that job you've got at least. Can't be at the top of the class if you're distracted from your schoolwork at the same time, right?_

_As for my date, man, where do I even start? Well, first thing's first—it was awesome! _♥_ Even though we skipped past the formalities, it wasn't as awkward as you'd expect. Guess it helped that we've kind of known each other for a while. Not personally, but she was in my class last year too, I just never had the change to interact with her until lately. Didn't notice much of her before this year, know what I mean?_

_Anyway, so like I told ya we would, we went to the mall and walked around for a while, passed by some shops since she wanted to buy some things. We got ice cream later and sat down to talk and it was real nice. Since she used to be in class with me before, we ended up talkin' about those times. Nothin' much happened aside from that, but it was great anyway. See? Goin' on dates isn't hard at all. I bet if ya were to go on one, you'd get the hang of it after a while. Anyway, regarding me and Suzu-chan, we've been hangin' out after school this week a lot, and it looks like she's up to goin' out with me again this weekend. I'm pretty damn excited! If things go well, I might even get a kiss out of this after all. Suzu-chan is seriously the cutest. _♥_ And she's an amazin' cook too! We walked past her during lunch the other day and I overheard her tellin' her friends she'd made the bento herself. It looked so good…! There's nothing like a girl's homemade food~ Hope I get to try it out myself sometime soon!  _♥__

_But seriously, I just don't get ya, man. Why would ya go out of your way to avoid your classmates? If it was just the guys you were avoidin', I'd understand, but what's so bad about girls?! You've gotta be the luckiest guy in the world right now. I'm so jealous~ I wish I was as popular as you, Yuki-chan. If we were in the same class, I'd gladly eat up the attention for ya. Can't believe you're hiding out in the infirmary too… Well, I guess that wouldn't be too bad if the nurse was cute…_

_Wait…! Could it be that Yuki-chan is actually into older girls?! Or maybe it's just the nurse-type… So the reason behind ya wantin' to be a doctor is that kind of thing after all, isn't it?! I'm right, aren't I? Aren't I~?_

_Heheh, I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'. Don't get so flustered. I know it ain't like that. It's fun to be able to make fun of ya every once in a while though. In any case, I still think you're crazy for it and totally missing out, but I guess it's fine if you're not up to datin'. Still, gotta get ya to pick up a hobby or somethin' this year. If it's not datin', at least try and take a break from schoolwork by doin' something else. Quit worryin' about your brother too, will ya? He can take care of himself without ya, you know. Think a little more about yourself for once._

_In your next reply, I better hear somethin' other than school talk, okay? Do something fun this weekend! Don't have your nose stuck in a book all the time and live a little more, okay?_

_Hope to hear from ya soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	24. October 2006

_October 6, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I hope things are still doing as well as they were in your last letter. I know it's been a while but school's really been taxing lately. I feel bad for having to apologize again even after you told me to take it easy. I just find it hard to do considering how much I have on my plate._

_The job is going well. It hardly gets in the way. It's just having to take special courses in school now... I need to do my best so I can get that scholarship to True Cross Academy. We don't have much money to pay for the tuition so if I want to go to that school, the scholarship is the only way. So you see why I have to study so hard and why I can't really spare the time for girls. It's just difficult these days to really_

_I'm sorry for that abrupt stop. Father called me away and I ended up getting caught up in something complicated involving my job. Now that I've come back, I've completely lost my train of thought. I can't remember what I was going to say. I should really just set aside a time to write your letters all in one go, right? I'm a bit scatterbrained these days. So much going on._

_It sounds like you had fun with Suzu-chan! _♥_ Have you gone on a few more dates by now? I hope everything is still going well. As for me, I'm still hopeless with girls and my brother is still hopeless with school. But in an attempt to try and give you something else to read besides my goings on at school, I did attempt to hold a conversation with a girl who walked up to me today. But... I ended up blanking out not long into it. I'm really hopeless at these kinds of things._

_In the end, this seemed like another boring letter. I'll try and be more prompt next time as well._

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

* * *

_October 11, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Dude, I was startin' to get worried you'd gotten eaten by a monstrous book or something! Think I even had a nightmare about it, heh. But seriously, what did I tell ya about overworkin' yourself? You're really gonna end up with gray hairs at this rate! Or worse, bags under your eyes! The hair can be excused if ya go all out and bleach it, but if ya don't take care of your face, you're gonna be doomed once ya finally start thinkin' about datin'._

_Speaking of which, things didn't end up workin' out with Suzu-chan. We just didn't really click. Don't get concerned about it or anythin' though! Like the sayin' goes, there's plenty of fish in the sea an' all. Actually, I think I'm close to landin' another date soon with someone else. _♥_ Will tell ya how that ends up goin' next time._

_Ya really gotta start lightening up, Yuki-chan. It seems like you've got way too much to deal with lately. I know you've got your scholarship to think of, but at least let go of the job or somethin'. You're gonna collapse one of these days if you keep this up! And what good are ya gonna be if you're coursing through life all scatterbrained? Prioritize, man. Quit thinkin' about your brother, and at least tell your dad you need a week off or something. I'm sure he'll understand. Also, remember to do somethin' fun while you're at it, otherwise you'll really lose your head!_

_Maybe we should make a promise. I've been slacking off in school lately (I know, I know, I'll do better), so how about you try to get less work and relax a bit, and in exchange I'll raise up my grades? Whatddya think?_

_Last thing, nice going, man! Even if it didn't really go anywhere, gotta say I'm proud of ya for tryin' with that girl. I was startin' to get worried about ya, man. Good to see you're as red-blooded as the rest of us after all! It gets easier the more ya do it, so don't wuss out and keep at it when ya got the chance. And if not… well, at least you can always live vicariously through me (see, I've been studyin'!)._

_Anyway, hope to hear from ya soon. Take care, Yuki-chan!_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_

* * *

_October 16, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I hope you're ready to make good on that promise because I just came back from a date! _♥__

_You remember that girl I told you about? The one who talked to me and I blanked out on? Her name is Kaede-san and she came up to me again the other day. We talked a bit (it was easier this time around!) and she asked me if I wanted to go with her to the park after school today. I didn't have any calls from my job for a while so, thinking of you, I said yes. I was so nervous. My heart is still pounding. I still don't know how you managed to go out on so many dates. We ended up talking a lot and it turns out she reads a lot too so we found a bit of common ground. We got takoyaki and ended up wandering to street stalls and we did a bit of window shopping._

_It was normal and kind of weird. Is this what you normally do? It's so strange! In the end I walked her home and then headed home myself. My father and brother asked all kinds of questions but I couldn't wait to get to my room and write all of this to you. She even agreed to a second date! I don't know if I'm scared, nervous, or excited. It might be a weird and horrible combination of all three. But Kaede-san is a really nice person and talking with her is getting easier and easier. I think this might end up working out. I didn't get a kiss though so don't ask! That's way too terrifying to think about right now!_

_I hope everything is going well over there and I expect to hear good things about your grades. At least try and get an 80 in your next test! _♥_ I know you can do it and if you get a 90 or higher, even better. I hope Ryuuji-kun and Konekomaru-kun aren't nagging on you too hard. Just keep in mind that they're concerned for you. As am I! But you can do it. I know you can._

_And there is no way I'm bleaching my hair. I would not make a good blond and I am more than happy with my black hair. Don't worry. I'm only 12. I have plenty of time before I need to worry about gray hair._

_I have to do my homework right now. It's still hard to concentrate with everything's that's happened today but it'll be easier now that I've told you. Thank you, Ren-kun! You really gave me a lot of courage today!_

_Hope to hear from you soon!_

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

* * *

_October 20, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Dude, I can't believe ya went out on a date! You actually went on a date! I still can't get over it... I reread your letter so many damn times because I was so shocked. Ya actually followed my advice! It's nice to hear you're finally startin' to take it easy. _♥__

_And you've got another date already lined up too! Good on ya! Keep it up and maybe ya two will end up hookin' up for sure! _♥__ _You could use someone tellin' ya to chill every once in a while, so I hope this works out for ya. But if not... well, ya still got me to nag ya, right?_

_Guess I'll have to make good on that promise after hearing all of this, huh? Well, kind of got a mixed update for ya regarding that. On the one hand, I'm doin' pretty well at school right now! Got an 88 on my last test. Impressed? _♥__ _I studied real hard for it, since I was hopin' you would follow through on your end too._

_On the other hand... I'm grounded right now. For the next two weeks to boot, which freakin' sucks. Totally throws a wrench in my datin' plans, but I guess it could've been worse. See, I kind of ended up skippin' school the other day 'cause some of my other classmates were plannin' to do it. But then I ended up runnin' into Ma and well... I'm sure ya can imagine how that went. Ugh, this whole thing's really stupid. You'd think she'd let me off more easy since I've been doin' well in school! I tried to tell her as much, but Ma just got madder, so I just shut up and let her do whatever she wanted. There's never any use arguin' against her._

_Ugh. Now that I'm gonna be stuck comin' home straight after school for freakin' EVER, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself. I might go crazy if all I got to do is stare at these stupid textbooks. This really, really sucks._

_Seriously, can't wait to hear from ya. Write back soon, 'kay?_

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	25. November 2006

_November 7, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I hope you're doing well. Is your punishment over with already? I have to agree with your mother, though... That was pretty irresponsible of you. Even if you're doing well, there's no reason to be skipping classes. That's only asking for trouble. I'm really proud of your good grades though! Did you at least get a lot of studying done? Maybe these two weeks is just what you needed to catch up._

_Things got busy again as you could probably tell by my late letter. I had to cut my second date with Kaede-san short but she understood so I'm grateful for that at least. Luckily I'm able to keep up with my homework even with her being around. We went to the mall a couple days ago and I made sure to apologize properly during school. She agreed to a make-up date and I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? You know about girls better than me. But with exams coming closer we might end up doing a study date in the library. That wouldn't be too bad right? Though it's not really a date is it... I'm still no good at this._

_Did Konekomaru-kun and Ryuuji-kun give you a hard time regarding your grounding? I haven't heard about it from Nii-san so I hope not. Then again, they barely talk about you to begin with. Those two are always in their own world. It makes me a little jealous to see Nii-san so carefree when his grades are so low. But since we have different goals, I suppose I have no right to complain._

_I hope you have more news on your side. I'm sorry for the tardiness as well as the lack of any real information. Do your best in school, Ren-kun. Keep working hard. Now that you've got the momentum of studying, you should keep it up! ♥_

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Until next time,_  
 _Okumura Yukio_

* * *

_November 15, 2006_

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_Looks like I'm the one who's late this time around, huh? Sorry about that. Hope ya didn't mind. I figured you'd be busy as usual. I was too! Had to make up for all those missed opportunities with the girls at school! ♥_

_My punishment finished last week, a few days before your letter arrived. Those were the worst two weeks of my life, man. No dates. No chicks. No games or TV. Just an endless pile of books to read, a stupid amount of chores, and a lot of time spent foldin' origami. I couldn't even sneak away after school to buy a snack from the convenience store. I had Ryuuji and Koneko walkin' me home the entire time. It was unbearable._

_~~I really mis~~ I ended up spendin' a lot of time wonderin' what you were up to. I was thinkin ya might've gotten serious with Kaede-san an' all but I guess I'm not the only one having' a hard time keepin' your attention, huh? That job of yours sure is a pain in the ass. Seriously, why don't ya just quit? We're not supposed to be workin' while school's on, anyway._

_You really need to do your best to make it up to Kaede-san. You're lucky she forgave ya that easy. What were ya thinkin', leaving her in the middle of a date? Poor girl. Ya gotta appreciate her more! If you don't pay attention to her, she's gonna start thinkin' ya don't really care. Anyway, it's hard to give ya advice on what you should do since you haven't told me enough about her, but since you're so hopeless about all of this, I'll do my best._

_First, what kinda things does she like? Ya said you guys liked the same kind of things, right? Guess takin' her to the library isn't a completely awful move since it seems ya two like studyin', but she ain't gonna be satisfied with that. At the very least, go to a bookstore! That type of place has a better atmosphere for this kinda stuff. Get somethin' to eat too while you're at it. Somethin' sweet! Most girls love that stuff._

_Second, I know exams are comin' up, but give it a rest, man. Studyin' ain't everythin', and you're a smart guy, so at the very least take a day to just have fun with her. Even if she's as concerned about her grades as you are, she's gonna get annoyed if all ya do is talk about school. Pay attention to her and what she wants an' stuff. It ain't that hard to read whatever signals she's givin' ya, so just keep an eye out for them. Trust your instincts._

_I think you should be set with that. Well, hope it all works out and that I hear from ya soon._

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_


	26. December 12, 2006

_December 12, 2006_

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I have no right to complain about tardiness, especially after all this time. I sincerely apologize for making you wait this long. I hope you're doing well in school with the exams coming up. Don't forget, alright? You've been doing well and I don't want you to lose your streak._

_Origami, huh? I still remember the flower you sent me when we were kids. It seems like way too long ago. I'm not sure where it's gone but I'm sure it'll turn up. But it seems like even after your punishment, you've gotten right back into the swing of things, huh? I suppose there's no changing you, Ren-kun. You're the same as always. ♥_

_About Kaede-san, I haven't seen her outside of school for a couple weeks now. I suppose you were right. Girls need attention and it’s attention I just can't afford to give right now. But I'm back to studying and working and I've fallen into a good schedule. So you don't need to worry about me. My grades are more than fine and as is my work. I can't quit but Father is arranging some time off for me while exams get closer. I think I'll concentrate on girls when I've got more time to spare. But like you always say, it was fun while it lasted._

_You know, I was surprised when I wrote the date on this letter that it's already December! Time flies by way too quickly and I feel like we've barely spoken. I realize that this is mostly my own fault and, while I'm sure you're used to reading this now, I promise to do better. You're an important friend and leaving you out in the cold like this is wrong of me._

_I hope everything works out on your end and that I hear from you again soon._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a few other letters written in December, but starting next chapter, we're back to timeskipping.


	27. July 7, 2007

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I'm so sorry I missed your birthday. Your present is following not long after this letter. It may be a day behind so by the time you get this, know you'll get your present from me tomorrow. Time really caught me by surprise but I suppose that's no excuse. You've never once missed my birthday and I hope I can make it up to you somehow._

_Regarding what you said about Ryuuji-kun and Konekomaru-kun, wouldn't it be best for you if you just listened? Homework and studying with your friends is best and if they're working out a schedule for summer break, you'd do well to go along with them. Doing homework with your friends is better than doing it alone. You'll get more done that way. Not to mention that Ryuuji-kun is a good student so he might be able to help you build better study habits._

_You don't have to give up your time going out with girls or anything and if you were more organized, it'd be easier for you. We won't be in middle school forever, you know? Things won't be this easy in a couple years. It's best to build your habits now and grow up before you get swept away. I know you want to take it easy but taking it too easy can be detrimental._

_With summer break approaching, my response time will pick up again so hopefully our correspondence can increase. Please think about my advice and I hope to hear from you soon._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_

"What a surprise..." Renzou muttered. The fourteen-year old let out a quiet sigh as he let the letter drop on his desk. He really didn't know why he had been expecting anything else, but he had.

Stupid of him.

Renzou really wasn't shocked by the contents of the letter at all. He just felt resigned. It had been months now since Yuki-chan had first started doing this—replying late, and apologizing for it; promising to do better, but failing to do so.

This was their new routine.

Yuki-chan was busy. Renzou understood that… or so he liked to tell himself. It was getting harder to swallow that lie these days. He really didn't get what was going on with Yuki-chan anymore. How could he? All he knew about the current Yuki-chan was that he always had his nose stuck in a book, and that his mysterious job was taking up a lot of his time. Every letter Renzou received from the other continuously grew more and more formal; more distant. Gone were the days were they used to write each other long letters that sometimes took up two or three pages. These days, their replies were pathetically short.

Renzou had tried to coax him into talking about what was going on little by little, but it got to the point that he realized Yuki-chan wasn't missing his subtle attempts; he was ignoring them. The realization made Renzou's worry for the other shatter, leaving anger and frustration at his core, and then confusion.

How had things turned out this way?

Renzou hated how much this whole thing stung him. He'd come to rely on Yuki-chan so much over the years. He was the only person who knew of his goals, of his desire to leave this place. It had been a relief to share that with Yuki-chan back then. It had felt great to push back all the pressure and expectations his family had of him, to be able to focus on a future where he could follow his own path—a future where he could finally meet Yuki-chan.

He was beginning to think that that was a future that would never come to pass.

The irony of what day today was didn't escape Renzou. The rain outside felt like a sign—as if the heavens themselves were confirming Renzou's doubts. The distance between him and Yuki-chan was an unreachable chasm. He wondered if things would ever go back to the way they were before…

He wanted them to. He wanted to fix things between them so bad, but he didn't know where to even start. He felt so completely alone. Without Yuki-chan, it was hard to hold on to his motivation to escape this life.

It was much easier to fall back into his old habits. Studying didn't feel like a big deal anymore when he had no one important to make proud. Instead, he spent most of his time trying to fill the hole Yuki-chan was making by messing around with girls. Of course, that was only fun for a little while because Renzou always pulled back when things got too serious. A part of him felt bad about it, especially when they started to cry, but he wasn't capable of giving them what they wanted from him. He was just looking for a distraction.

And anyway, how could he think about getting serious with someone when he could barely hold on to one of his longest friendships?

 _They'd end up leavin' me first anyway, wouldn't they?_ Renzou thought to himself, bitterly.

It wasn't the first time that he'd arrived to that thought, but this time, the heavy resignation that always came after it felt stronger than ever. Renzou stared at the letter in front of him, and for a moment, he felt tempted it to throw it away.

He regretted considering it for even a second. In the next, he got out a piece of paper and told himself not to give up on Yuki-chan.

_"As long as you're honest and your words come from the heart, your feelings will reach them," isn't that right, Yuki-chan?_

Thinking of the advice his best friend had given him when they were younger, Renzou felt his resolve strengthen a little.

Still… why was it so hard to be honest?

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_I'm havin' a hard time puttin' down everythin' I'm feeling into words. Ya know, I wanted to write "It's okay. I don't mind if my present is late!" but I'm tired of all of this. This is stupid. You're the one person I trust with everythin' in my life. It feels wrong to put on a smile and write lies to ya after all these years._

_I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say that. I didn't want to bother ya with my worries. I'm angry at you, ya know? You ought to know why, right, Yuki-chan? You've been pullin' away from me. I don't know what's been goin' on in your life, or what's changed, or what I did. Hell, I don't know anythin' anymore and I hate it._

_Maybe you've gotten bored of me. Maybe I've just become a bother that ya feel obligated to write to. Maybe ya feel as bad as I do about all of this and hate me for not bringin' it up sooner._

_I should have said all of this sooner. I'm as equally to blame for all of this as you are… But I just didn't know how to say any of this. I still don't._

_I miss ya. I miss ya a lot, Yuki-chan. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you, ya know? You're important to me, and I've always depended on ya to be there for me. Was that... Was that wrong of me? I thought you and I were the same, that we would always understand each other, but these days, I keep wonderin' if that ain't true anymore. It feels like I've just become another person in your life that's just dragging ya down. I've got no big ambitions, I don't care about school. All I think about is runnin' away from home. I'm irresponsible to the core and I know it. I'm no better than your brother and you already have your hands full worryin' about him, and about yourself too._

_Even so… even so, I don't want to let ya go, Yuki-chan. Not like this. Not at all. So I was thinkin'_ _… ~~maybe if we could talk~~_

_~~Maybe if~~ _

_~~Now that I~~ _ __

_~~Can’t ya just tell me what’s goin’ on? I got a cell phone now and~~ _

Renzou kept crossing out his words, over and over again. Though he had been writing without letting his pen stop, not wanting to second-guess himself, the moment he started to bring up the possibility of them talking to each other, his resolve began to crumble.

The opportunity to hear Yuki-chan's voice was one he'd longed to have for ages. His desire had grown stronger ever since he'd gotten himself a cell phone. These days, his phone was filled with girls' phone numbers, but there was one number in it that he desired to have more than anything in the world.

Sometimes, he was tempted to sneak the number off of Ryuuji's phone, but it was the same hesitance that he felt now that always stopped him from doing so in the first place.

The distance the letters provided him was familiar; safe. What would happen if they were to talk over the phone? What if Yuki-chan didn't call? What if Yuki-chan didn't pick up?

What if Yuki-chan didn't care anymore?

The rain continued to drum loudly outside and Renzou felt numb to it all. His grip faltered on his pen and he let it clatter on his desk without a care. He pushed his chair back and got up to his feet, overcome with too much emotion to stay there. He ran a hand through his hair and trudged on to bed, plopping himself on it face-down. After a few suffocating seconds, he turned on his side and caught sight of his reflection on the mirror of his dresser.

The necklace Yuki-chan had sent him years ago was still hanging around his neck. Though the pink gem was usually hidden under his shirt, it was currently visibly peeking out. Renzou's eyes lingered on it for a moment, but as his gaze trailed up slowly, he focused on the frown on his face and the thin scar above his eyebrow.

Closing his eyes, he turned on his side again and tried to push his turbulent emotions away. It wasn't until the next day that he gathered up the courage to continue a pen his reply, this time from scratch.

_Dear Yuki-chan…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: It is said that if it rains on Tanabata, Orihime and Hikoboshi must wait until another year to meet.


	28. July 11, 2007

_Dear Yuki-chan,_

_It's okay. It was only a few days, and the important thing is that you're thinkin' of me, right?_

_Heh, that came out really cheesy, but I mean it. Thanks for the planner. I'll do my best to make good use of it, but I can't make any promises. I'm not really the type of person who likes to plan ahead. I prefer to just go with the flow, you know that. But it might end up comin' in handy this summer break at least._

_I know Ryuuji, Koneko, and you mean well, but seriously, you guys worry too much. I'm doin' as well as I need to be. The homework will get done in time, but I gotta do it at my own pace. And as much as I love hangin' out with those two, I don't have the time to spare. I'm gonna spend most of my summer break workin' again. Walkin' my neighbor's dogs is nice an' all, but I've really missed my old job. I'm lookin' forward to gettin' back to the store already._

_Anyway, don't worry about your response time. I know you're busy. Don't stress out too much on my account, okay? I'll always be here. So as long as you remember that, you can take all the time ya need._

_Take care, Yuki-chan._

_Until next time,_

_Shima Renzou_

Yukio gripped the letter tightly in his trembling fist. The tie was loose around his neck and his long black coat was open. Pistol holsters hung from his chest half undone. He sat in the dusty old storage room that was usually filled with old books and silence. But now, the air was punctuated by soft gasps.

Little sobs.

Yukio took off his glasses and pressed the sleeve of his coat against his eyes, trying to dry the tears before they fell from his eyes. His hands couldn't stop shaking. Not since the mission had been finished. Not since they had gotten into the car and returned to the monastery. Not since he found Ren-kun's letter in the mailbox and retreated to this silent spot surrounded by books and old memories.

The gunshot was still ringing in his ears even though he'd pulled the trigger hours before.

_"Shoot! Yukio, shoot him!"_

Yukio felt like screaming, just as he had when he'd shot him. When his father told him to shoot a man in the head. But his scream was nowhere near as loud as the sound his pistol made when he did it.

_"There was no saving him. The poison spread too far… He wasn't human anymore. You can't save everyone, Yukio. There's always going to be casualties."_

Yukio pressed his palm over his mouth, muffling the sounds that threatened to rise from his throat. The loud thump of the corpse falling to the floor was a sound he never wanted to hear again.

_You can't save everyone._

Did that mean there was going to be more? How many people would he have to shoot? Shooting at a target in a training exercise was different from actually killing a man and now, he wasn't sure if he had the stomach for it.

Bile rose in his throat but he forced it back down.  _Don't think about it. Ren-kun. Push it all back and think of Ren-kun._

But he couldn't. This one time, he couldn't do it. He stared at the letter with wide unblinking eyes and all he could think about was the cold metal and flash of heat as the gunpowder exploded and—

Yukio let out a strangled sob.  _It's not fair. It's not fair. Why do I have to do these things?_

_Because it's my job._

_I shouldn't be stressing so much. I'm only in middle school!_

_It's my duty._

_There are people older than me that are only starting their training! I shouldn't have to deal with this! Ren-kun… Ren-kun would understand. Ren-kun, help…_

_Nii-san…_

Yukio felt the tears finally spill over because he knew he could never back out. Quitting the exorcists was something he could never do. His brother was a danger to himself and people wanted to kill him. He had to become stronger. He had to protect his brother. But he couldn't stop crying.

 _You're such a crybaby, Yuki-chan._  A silent voice resounded in his head.  _It's okay, Yuki-chan. You're thinking of me, right, Yuki-chan? You should just quit this job._

"I can't…" Yukio whispered helplessly into the room. He stayed like that for a while before he moved to his knees and pulled open one of the nearby drawers. He pulled a couple blank papers and a pen and placed them down on the floor along with Ren-kun's letter. Yukio then slowly pulled his coat off and let it drop beside him. The pistols and holsters joined it in a small pile.

Yukio lay on his stomach and poised the pen on the paper. Ren-kun…

Tears gently dripped down his cheeks as he began by writing those, by now, familiar words.

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_I'm sorry. I know you must be tired of hearing that but now I really mean it. I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you, I promise but... Everything is just too much sometimes and I can't take a moment for myself anymore._

_I've been lying to you and I feel so utterly terrible. But... I can't keep it a secret anymore. I can't keep this to myself any longer._

_Ren-kun, I killed a man today._

_I didn't want to but there was no choice. I've been training to be an exorcist of the True Cross Order for years now, since I was seven. This is my last year of training which is why things have gotten so hectic. I'm being called for more missions and today I went with my father on an important one._

_It was horrible. It was terrifying. I felt like all the years I spent training were for nothing. I felt like I was a six year old child, unable to do anything anymore._

_I don't want to do this anymore. But I have to. I can't stop but, I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I want to do. I thought this would be easy. To kill demons and that's it. But it's not easy at all, Ren-kun and I just don't know what to do._

_I need you. I can't depend on my brother for this since he doesn't know and I have to be strong in front of my father. But I don't want to lie to you anymore. I never wanted to lie to you. Ren-kun, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me._

Yukio lifted the pen from the paper to wipe the tears streaming down his face. Several drops had already landed on the paper and his hands were still shaking so badly that the handwriting was near illegible.

"Ren-kun… I'm sorry, Ren-kun…" Yukio sobbed softly in the dim room.

Several minutes passed until he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at his messy writing on the paper. He reread the words he wrote over and over again but…

With cheeks still wet but eyes now dry, he reached for his letter and picked it up.

The sound of ripping paper replaced the sound of sobs that had quieted long ago.

 

* * *

 

_Dear Ren-kun,_

_How are you? I hope you're doing well._

_Of course I'm thinking of you. How could I not? I know it doesn't seem like it what with these late letters but at least I got back to you quickly this time._

_I hope you use the planner. I figured I could get you something useful that would help you out in school. Maybe you could make your own schedule for your summer homework if that will work. Especially if you're going to pick up that job again. Don't forget your schoolwork, Ren-kun._

_Thank you. I'm glad you understand and I'll do my best to pick up the frequency of my replies. But knowing that I have you is really going to help me move forward during this last semester. I can't afford to slack off. Neither can you, okay? Do your best._

_I hope you're doing well by the time you receive this letter. Was your Tanabata festival enjoyable? We had a good time here._

_Write back soon. I hope to hear from you. Take care._

_Until next time,_

_Okumura Yukio_


	29. February 14, 2008

"Ren-nii! You forgot to take your mail!"

"Sorry, squirt! I'm on my way out. Just leave it somewhere, will ya?"

"Huh? But you just got home!"

Renzou finished strapping on a bracelet around his wrist. He ran a hand over his shirt to smooth out a small wrinkle and then gave himself one last look in the mirror. The shirt was a little low around his bare neck, but girls were into that kind of thing lately according to what he'd been reading.

Feeling confident, he turned to exit the room. He ruffled his sister's hair on his way out and snatched the letter that she'd been holding between her fingers.

"Nii-chan's a busy guy, but I'll be back tonight. Don't worry."

Grinning, Renzou led his sister out of his room after tossing the letter over his shoulder. He closed the door behind him without looking back.


	30. March 29, 2009 (Morning)

Yukio sighed deeply as he looked out the window of the train. He'd boarded the morning train in order to get to the Academy in time to do the work he had to do. It wasn't anything big or difficult, just some paperwork his father had asked him to get done. Yukio knew that he would have probably done it himself had it not been for the fact that Ryuuji was going to visit. Yukio frowned at the thought. Since Ryuuji knew about the exorcists and was likely going to be training to be one, he made a very dangerous friend for his brother. Yukio understood why his father had to remain home. He had to watch him and make sure his brother was safe. Yukio would readily pick up the slack.

But in retrospect, maybe what he'd chosen to wear wasn't exactly the right outfit for this kind of work. Yukio looked down at the casual cargo pants he'd put on along with a simple white shirt. Since it had been a tad chilly, he'd also slipped on a cardigan before he'd gathered his things. It was only after he was out of the door that he realized the color of said cardigan. Yukio sighed as he plucked a loose string of the pale pink fabric of his sleeve.

Pink. He had a few articles of clothing in the color that he'd slowly amassed over the past years. He couldn't help it, really. Whenever he used to see the color pink, he had always fallen completely at ease. But these days, the color caused the opposite effect. Yukio leaned his head back against the glass of the window and stared blankly at the passing scenery.

_I wonder what Ren-kun is doing. What kind of high school is he going to this year? Does he have a girlfriend yet? He's probably got some girl on his arm already._

Yukio felt his lips quirk up a bit at the thought. Ren-kun. Always pushing him to talk to girls and telling him of the endless escapades of his own dating life. Of course he had to have someone already. He would probably have his eye on the girls the moment he stepped into the campus of his new school.

In the past month, ever since Rin was bouncing around the monastery celebrating the fact that he'd finally get to meet Ryuuji, Yukio hadn't been able to stop thinking about his own old childhood friend, no matter how many times he tried not to. Ren-kun had never replied to his last letter and, to be quite honest, Yukio was surprised it had lasted as long as it did.

It wasn't that he'd forgotten Ren-kun, he just never had anything to say. He couldn't count how many hours he had spent sitting at his desk with a pencil and a paper that only sported two words.

_Dear Ren-kun._

It never went past that. Yukio couldn't write anymore because there was nothing to write. His life was his job as an exorcist now and he couldn't just write about that to someone all the way in Kyoto, someone who probably wasn't even involved in the True Cross Order. And even if he did know, what would he say? He couldn't tell him the truth about why he'd trained so early to be an exorcist, why he'd rushed through his studies and dedicated every free moment he could to prove every teacher wrong. He couldn't tell him. Ren-kun couldn't know the truth.

"Arriving at Central True Cross Campus Town Station. Arriving at Central True Cross Campus Town Station. Please make sure to collect your things and have a wonderful day!"

The artificial female voice jolted Yukio out of his thoughts and he lifted his head from the glass. Absently rubbing the red spot that appeared on his forehead, he pulled the duffel bag over his shoulder again. He sighed and shook his head. He couldn't be so distracted on such an important day. He had work to do.

Yukio headed to the boys' dorm first and was thankful that his roommate hadn't arrived yet. He didn't really want to deal with that right now, not with the full agenda he had that morning. Yukio wasted no time placing his bag on his bed, unpacking most of his clothes, and hanging them up in his closet. Most of his things were arriving later that day in boxes so he arranged what he had now. It didn't take long. Yukio was stowing an empty duffel bag under his bed in less than an hour.

But the familiar motion caused another hiccup in his momentum. The space under his bed at home was usually occupied by two old shoeboxes, one belonging to his brother and the other his own. Both of them were filled with letters.

Yukio frowned. Had he packed his box? He suddenly didn't know… He'd have to check once the rest of his things arrived.

It was with an uneasy mind that Yukio pulled a key out of his pocket and opened his bedroom with it. But the door didn't open to his dorm hall. Instead, a larger hall, lavishly decorated, stood before him. It was long, lined with several doors, and the high ceiling didn't help with the fact that it was dreadfully empty.

Yukio removed the key and closed the door behind him before walking down the familiar hallway. He arrived at the staff office which was still fairly empty. He was recognized by the couple teachers in the room and Yukio greeted them in a friendly manner. They were all wearing casual clothing themselves as they did their paperwork and planned their classes, so thankfully, Yukio didn't stand out too much.

Yukio settled into his father's desk and began doing his own work. He'd received instructions from his father on how to fill out all the forms, what kind of plans he wanted for each class, and how everything needed to be filed. One of the teachers, Tsubaki, offered to aid him but Yukio politely turned him down.

"Alright, Okumura-kun. Do let me know if you need any help, alright?" he said, looking concerned.

"Not to worry, Tsubaki-san. I can handle it just fine. I wouldn't want to distract you from your own work." Yukio smiled and they traded a couple more civil words before Tsubaki left him to return to his own desk.

Yukio held back the sigh that was hiding behind his lips. He knew that his youth would be a concern in this line of work, but Yukio wouldn't yield. He was more than capable of handling a few forms and timetables.

It took a couple hours to get everything done, double-checking and triple-checking that everything was done right. He couldn't afford mistakes since most of his colleagues already thought so low of him due to his age. Yukio had to do everything perfectly. Once he was absolutely sure that each form was in its place, Yukio took his leave from the office.

He wondered what he could do now… He supposed all there was left to do was to head back to his dorm and hope his things had finally arrived.


	31. March 29, 2009 (Afternoon)

"Wow… The rumors about this place weren't kiddin'!"

As soon as they stepped out of the station, Renzou and Konekomaru stopped for a moment to take in the sight of True Cross Academy. The scene that stood before their eyes was nothing short of impressive. Tall, colorful towers of buildings stood proudly in front of them, and below them lay the bustling town, surrounded by a large lake whose crystal clear surface rippled and sparkled under the sunlight. The two boys had never seen anything like it…

But of course, that wasn't where Renzou's gaze was focused at all.

"Oh, man. The view here ain't bad, not bad at all…!" he said after letting out an impressed whistle. His eyes were glued to a pair of pretty girls who were exiting the station beside them.

Konekomaru let out a quiet groan upon noticing exactly what he was looking at.

"Shima-san…" he said in a reprimanding tone. "I thought you were going to quit doing this type of thing this year…"

It took Renzou a second to tear his eyes away from the girls. He shot his childhood friend a shameless grin and shrugged slightly. "I know what I said, but c'mon, Koneko-san! We gotta live a little sometimes!"

These words weren't anything Konekomaru hadn't heard before, but the shorter teen let the argument go without a comment, only shaking his head. He took out his phone and checked his messages again instead.

"I wonder if Bon's arrived at Rin-kun's house already…" he murmured, frowning anxiously.

Renzou snorted slightly at the comment.  

"Dude, quit worryin' and give him a few hours at least. There's no way he's gonna remember about us today of all days."

Renzou understood why his friend was feeling so uneasy. This was the first time the three of them had been apart from each other like this. Not only was being this far away from home a first experience for all of them, but with Ryuuji taking off to see Rin and leaving them behind for an entire week, it made things feel even more out of the norm. Because of that, Ryuuji had promised to text them as soon as he got to Rin's place. It was a promise that Renzou had been absolutely sure Ryuuji was going to forget about, and from the looks of it, Renzou's prediction was going to be right on the mark.

After adjusting the strap of his bag which was hanging off his shoulder, the older teen tilted his head towards the stairs and nudged Konekomaru, grinning. "Now, c'mon! Might as well start checkin' this place out, right?"

Konekomaru mustered up a smile and slipped his phone back in his pocket.

"Yeah, you're right…"

They took their time looking around and getting to know the place as they headed in the direction of the dorms. The Academy was bigger than they had anticipated so they were both glad that they had sent most of their stuff over beforehand. Lugging around their things would not have been a fun experience for either for them.

"Sheesh, this is supposed to be a school?"

Renzou still couldn't get over the size of the Academy. He'd heard stories about it from his siblings, but seeing the place was an entirely different experience. Being here was an entirely surreal experience.

_I wonder if I'll run into Yuki-chan…_

The thought was, as it always was, involuntary. Renzou made sure not to let his expression falter and merely stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked beside Konekomaru. He tried to push away that line of thinking, but it had been getting harder and harder to do so these past couple of weeks, and it was even worse now that they were getting closer to the dorms.

Ever since it had been decided that the two of them would accompany Ryuuji to study at True Cross Academy, Renzou hadn't been able to avoid thinking about his old friend.

It wasn't as if he had really forgotten about him after all. Even after they had started to lose contact with each other, even after Renzou had stopped responding to the distant letters that arrived to him sporadically, he'd had a hard time pushing Yuki-chan out of his mind. There had been so many times he had been tempted to reach out to him again, but every time he picked up his pen, he wondered what he could even say. The fact that Yuki-chan never made the attempt to reach back convinced him the effort would be pointless… In the end, he told himself it would be easier to just let it all go.

He would have never expected that he would get the opportunity to see the other in person. Renzou dreaded the idea more than anything else right now.

"Looks like this is the place."

Renzou glanced up at Konekomaru's words and once again felt impressed by the building in front of them. He let himself be distracted by the moment.

"Man, ya think there's any building around here that ain't six floors tall?" He wasn't even exaggerating by much. Renzou honestly wondered for a second if they would find elevators inside.

Much to his disappointment, there weren't any.

"Well, at least our room isn't that far up. We're on the second floor," Konekomaru said.

They passed by the reception desk and the cafeteria before heading up the stairs. There were students crowding the hallways, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. A good portion of the students had clearly arrived earlier on in the day to unpack. Renzou looked around idly as Konekomaru glanced at the nameplate next to the stairs to see what area they'd been assigned to. He let the shorter teen lead the way.

Aside from the rooms found on each side of the hallways, there were several common rooms that were meant to be shared between the four pairs of students that had been assigned to the area. There wasn't anyone lingering around their common room aside from a short, black-haired guy who greeted them before slipping inside his room.

The common room was as luxurious as the rest of place, furnished with a couple of couches, a few small tables and a huge TV. Beside it was a magazine with a bright purple cover on top of it that read CATALOGUE in romaji. The two of them looked around for a moment, taking it all in, before looking for their rooms.

Much to Renzou's horror, he'd been assigned to share with Ryuuji. Konekomaru's roommate hadn't arrived yet by the looks of it, but Renzou was already making a quick decision, and he began to wheedle Konekomaru to agree with it.

"C'mon, please don't make me share with Bon. He gets up way too early!"

"And you wake up way too late. It's probably better for you to share a room with him."

Renzou put on a dismayed expression. "That's cruel, Koneko-san!"

After glancing at Konekomaru's room in longing, the older teen looked back at his friend with a determined glint in his eye. "C'mon, I'll do anythin'. I'll even promise to wake up earlier than usual if that's what it takes!"

"…You could at least pick out a better lie. I'm not going to be that easily convinced," Konekomaru said dryly, but there was a faint curve in his mouth that showed he was amused.

Renzou scowled, but he persisted. "What if I promise to buy ya drinks for a month?"

At this, Konekomaru paused.

"Every morning?" he asked.

"Every morning!" Renzou confirmed.

"Make it two months and you've got a deal," Konekomaru said with a small grin.

Renzou's shoulders loosened with exaggerated relief. He winced, though his expression was playful. "Ya drive a hard bargain, but you got it!"

Their bags were waiting inside their rooms. The mood between them was light as they began to unpack and set up their belongings. Each room had a pair of beds with an accompanying nightstand, a dresser and a desk. Taking advantage that Konekomaru wasn't around to see him, Renzou began to look for a good place to hide his porn magazines.

But now that he was alone for the first time that day, Renzou found it harder to distract himself. The thoughts he'd been trying to push back came forth once more.

_Three more years of this, huh…?_

Renzou's lips fell into a frown.

He really wasn't looking forward to it. He had never wanted to come here. He had never wanted to involve himself with anything regarding demons and exorcists. He had always let himself hope, had clung onto the fact that the High Priest had always encouraged them to follow their own path…

But Ryuuji hadn't given up on his ridiculous dream to defeat Satan and now here they were.

It had been pointless to fight it all in the first place.

Renzou's lips twitched into a bitter smirk, but it soon faded as he tried to push those thoughts away. He ran a hand through his hair, smiled thinly as he caught his reflection on the mirror across the room, and headed back out to the common room. Despite it all, he had to admit he shared some of his friends' sentiments. Sticking together like this was comforting despite the circumstances. And, more importantly, being away from home was something he'd wanted for ages, and he ended up doing it three years earlier than he'd expected.

"Ya need a hand with anything, Koneko-san?"

Renzou found it easier to smile when he stepped in his friend's room. Ryuuji's bags sat on top of his bed unopened, but Konekomaru's side of the room was already filled up with books and cat figurines that had been carefully placed on the bookshelves.

"I'm alright. Did you finish already?"

"Nah, I'm jus' takin' a break. Think I'm gonna get somethin' to eat. You want anythin'?"

"Maybe…"

Konekomaru's musing hum was interrupted by a small rapping noise. The two teens glanced at the window and spotted a small yellow bird perched on the windowsill. The moment the bird saw them looking its way, the bird stopped rapping against the glass with its beak.

"…Dude, how does it always find ya?"

The bird was a familiar sight to the both of them. Out of the three of them, Konekomaru was the only one that still kept in contact with his old pen pal via letters, though the frequency of his responses was not nearly as often as Ryuuji's had been back in the day.

It was more like how Renzou and Yukio's pace had been in the last year before they'd stopped talking to each other.

Renzou's stomach gave an involuntary lurch. He bit his tongue and immediately started to regret the decision he'd made this morning; if he was having a hard enough time keeping Yuki-chan out of his mind already, looking at his reflection every morning was going to make it even worse. Dyeing his hair pink had been a dumb idea. He'd wanted a change in appearance, something that would make him look different, that would make him stand out; something that girls would like.

But it was the resentful part of him that wondered if he'd run into Yuki-chan that had urged him to choose the familiar shade.

It was clear that Renzou hadn't managed to school enough of his expression because Konekomaru, as observant and understanding as ever, gave him an apologetic shrug after opening the window to let the bird in. "Never mind. I'll catch up to you later," he promised, not quite looking at him as he moved to untie the letter hanging off the bird's neck.

Renzou forced himself to smile and gave his childhood friend a small wave. "No prob," he said, and after stuffing his hands into his pockets, he headed out and down to the ground floor.

He walked past the cafeteria. He didn't feel all that hungry anymore. He wanted some fresh air instead. Outside, the sky was beginning to darken. The sun, hidden behind the clouds, was slowly starting to go down. Renzou found himself frustrated by the light shades of pink and purple reflected on the sky. He focused his gaze on the floor and tried to push it all back—

That's when he knocked straight into someone, his shoulder slamming against the other person's chest.

"Ah, sorry!"

Renzou straightened up, glad neither of them had been knocked to the floor, but his breath left him and he froze as his eyes caught sight of the person in front of him.

It was Yuki-chan. No matter how much the other had aged and grown, Renzou easily recognized those eyes and the pair of moles sitting below the left one.

If that wasn't proof enough, the name that fell from the other's mouth confirmed it.

"Ren-kun…?"

Yukio's voice was a small, shocked whisper.

As they stared at one another, at the pale pink cardigan Yukio was wearing, at the brightly colored pink locks that framed Renzou's face, there was one resounding thought in both of their minds.

_He didn't forget about me…_


	32. March 29, 2009 (Evening)

"Ren-kun...?"

The name had escaped unbidden from Yukio's lips. He hadn't recognized him at first and it was largely due to the strange colored hair. But it was the familiar hue that caused him to do a double take in the first place. Yukio had been about to politely avert his gaze, apologize for bumping into the stranger, and be on his way, when he saw the look that the other teen was giving him.

And then he saw it. He saw the face that he'd seen in the countless pictures that they had sent each other over the years and, despite the lack of black hair, it clicked.

But the pink hair was what really made his chest twist. Ren-kun didn't forget. Yukio wanted to think that he was the reason for the strange dye job but he wasn't completely sure. Still, he couldn't help the brief, soft laugh that bubbled nervously in his chest.

"I... didn't expect to see you here," he said, his eyes still locked onto his old friend's face, taking in each detail of his expression with each word.

_So that's Yuki-chan's voice…_

Renzou wasn't sure what face he was making, but it was impossible to ignore the way his stomach was flip-flopping at that moment. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind in the span of a second. Even though he had expected to run into Yuki-chan at some point, he hadn't thought it would happen so soon. And he certainly hadn't thought their encounter would turn out like this.

Renzou's eyes kept straying to the light pink cardigan the other was wearing.

"Hey there, Yuki-chan." The pink-haired teen made the corner of his lips lift slightly. He slipped his hands back into his pockets and leaned back on his heels, slouching. "Um. Surprise," he said with a slight laugh.

Hearing the by now familiar nickname come from Ren-kun's actual voice caused a bit of a flutter in his chest. Yukio let out another nervous laugh.

"Yeah. It definitely is…" He pushed up his glasses self-consciously and glanced towards the dorm before looking at his friend again. "So you're staying here in the dorm, then?"

Renzou bobbed his head and set his gaze on the ground. "Yeah. Gonna be studyin' here for the next three years. Lucky me, huh?" He rubbed the back of his neck slightly before glancing back up. "I should be congratulatin' you though. Seems like ya got that scholarship after all, didn't ya?"

"Yeah." Yukio nodded. "I got into the top class. My studying paid off." He smiled again. "What class are you in, Ren-kun? Do you know?"

Despite the light tone they had both put on, the conversation between them was stilted. The distance that had grown between them over the last year and a half was palpable.

Renzou couldn't help but to linger on the fact that Yuki-chan had seemed genuinely stunned for a second.

 _Guess your brother didn't let it slip that I was studyin' here along with Bon._ Renzou wasn't surprised by this. Those two always ended up getting too involved with each other; it was the reason why Renzou had been sure Ryuuji would forget to text them today.

_They never change…_

Though that thought was often riddled with jealousy, at the moment it was hard to cling on to the bitter reminder that things between him and Yuki-chan  _had_ changed. How could he when he had yearned for this moment for so long?

"You got into the top class, huh? 'Course, I wouldn't have expected any less from ya, Yuki-chan." Renzou smiled. "As for me, I'm in class C. No surprise there either, right?"

Though he'd already said it, hearing Ren-kun of all people smile at his achievement caused Yukio's cheeks to flush a bit, but he wasn't blind to the tension in the conversation.

 _I need to fix this._  It was that thought that resonated in Yukio's mind above all when he caught sight of Renzou's pink hair and stiff smile. He couldn't help but wonder then if fate really was real…

"I suppose." Yukio smiled a bit easier now, trying to soften his stance, letting his hands hang loosely at his sides. "Still, that's not as bad as I would have thought, considering you always had your eyes on the girls rather than in your books."

"Heh…" That was a familiar line of conversation between them. Renzou felt a pang of nostalgia, but it was a heavy weight. His chest stung as he thought of their old letters, of the memories he had forced himself to let go over time.

Though it didn't vanish, the smile on Renzou's face faltered, and the tone in his voice sounded a little more serious when he spoke next.

"Yeah… Well, one of us had to learn how to take it easy."

Yukio's shoulders tensed slightly. The amount of times he apologized to him for not replying on time, the amount of times jealousy pricked at him when he saw his brother on the phone with Ryuuji… The amount of times Yukio thought of Ren-kun this past month…

"I suppose so." Yukio exhaled softly through his smile and resisted the urge to rub the back of his neck. He felt on edge and out of his element. He would rather be facing several dozen demons without his gun than look at Ren-kun's face right now. But still, he persevered. "Well, it'll be easier with us living in the same dorm, don't you think?"

"Ya think?"

_Because I sure don't._

And just like that, the last of Renzou's smile faded away. Though he recognized Yuki-chan's attempt to reach out to him, seeing him address the state of things between them in this manner irked him. There was so much that lay unsaid between them, and the person whom he'd once called his best friend seemed eager to ignore it.

_Just like always…_

It seemed like Yuki-chan hadn't changed at all.

Renzou felt disappointed, angry and resigned all at once. Why had he bothered to get his hopes up? They weren't kids anymore. Things between them were over and he had to accept that. Who cared if his heart had stuttered at the sight of that worn cardigan?

It wasn't as if Renzou had come to this school with the intention of patching things up with Yuki-chan in the first place. And unlike Yuki-chan, he had no desire to play along with the pretense that things were okay between them either. What was the point? In the end, they had no classes together, and there was little chance of them running into each other outside of the dorm. It was better if they let whatever was left between them go already.

"Hey, look…" he began, ready to follow through with his thoughts, but his phone beeped loudly at that moment. He ignored it and went on to continue but his mouth closed shut when it beeped for a second time. He frowned. Hesitated.

"Sorry. Could ya hold on a sec?"

After flipping his phone open, Renzou read the two texts that had come in.

_[Thought you were heading for the cafeteria. Where'd you go?]_

_[They're serving Western food for dinner tonight. Did you see? Come join me! (=^_ _・ェ・^=)]_

Renzou stared down at his phone and felt some of his anger ebb away. He tried to hold on to it, but now that he wasn't staring at Yuki-chan anymore, the desire to pull away from the serious atmosphere rose like usual. He could feel the other's eyes boring into him and it made him want to run away.

When he looked up again, Renzou smiled bitterly to himself, well aware he was chickening out again.

"Nevermind. Look, I gotta go. Koneko-san wants me to lend him a hand with somethin' so… I'll catch up with ya later, or somethin', alright?"

Yukio both welcomed and hated the interruption. But that didn't stop him from nodding at Ren-kun's farewell. "Yeah." Yukio nodded. "Of course. I'll… see you around, I suppose." Yukio felt like he should say something else but decided not to and turned towards the dorm. In a split second, he changed his mind once more.

"Ren-kun." He looked at the pink-haired teen again. "Sorry, just a quick question before you go." It took all Yukio's strength to look back at his face as he spoke. "Why didn't you answer my last letter?"

Renzou's eyes widened at the question. He'd actually asked…? His heart jolted for a moment, but when he looked at him, Yuki-chan's expression was completely unreadable to him. He had no idea what was going on in the other's mind. It frustrated him to the point where he wanted to be honest.

When he answered, Renzou made sure to school his own expression and tried not to betray his inner thoughts.

"Oh. You sent me one?" He winced as exaggeratedly as he could as he focused on the other's face. Brown eyes lingered on the pale impassive face, on the green eyes that seemed as shuttered as his own did every time he looked in the mirror. Whatever he was looking for, he didn't find it.

"I don't remember getting one," he continued in a light tone. "Guess it just slipped off my mind, huh? My bad."

The apology was as insincere and as bold as his lie. Renzou gave the other a sheepish smile as he shrugged. Aware that doing otherwise would leave him open to more questions, the pink-haired teen strode forward, following after Yuki-chan. The short distance between them closed. Finally, as he stood by the taller teen, Renzou placed his hand on the other's shoulder briefly. The worn fabric beneath his tanned fingers felt warm, soft.

Renzou kept his eyes on the door before him.

"See ya around, Yuki-chan," he said before walking past him and heading back inside the dorm.

Yukio didn't watch him go. Because as much of a mystery his expression was to Renzou, Yukio couldn't make out the intention in his old friend's voice. He felt guilt weigh him down heavier than the fleeting hand on his shoulder. Yukio swallowed and nodded.

"Right. See you."


	33. March 30, 2009

"So he is going to cram school?"

_"Yep. And if Renzou-kun and Konekomaru-kun are there, too, then I don't see why they wouldn't be going as well."_

"I feel the same way." Yukio pressed his lips together in slight worry. Knowing that his brother was so close to Ryuuji-kun, someone who was going to be training to become an exorcist, was worrying. Yukio and his father had done their best to shield Rin from the dark side of the world, to keep him focused on the human side of himself and prevent the demon side from ever coming to the surface. But Ryuuji-kun's presence might very well throw a wrench into their plans.

It was only as an afterthought that Yukio realized that Ren-kun was probably going to be attending cram school as well. It made sense of course. He didn't know whether he was relieved or…

 _"Yukio."_  Shiro's words through the phone's speaker pulled him out of his thoughts.  _"Everything alright over there?"_

"Of course." Yukio responded immediately, a smile pulling at his lips out of habit. "Everything was taken care of yesterday and—"

_"I'm not talking about forms, Yukio. I mean you. You didn't exactly sound happy when you told me Renzou-kun was there at the dorm."_

Yukio didn't speak for a second. He felt a panic as hesitation stopped the words from forming and he wondered if he should tell his father the truth. But he swallowed down his feelings and smiled once more. "It's fine. I suppose I was just shocked to see him like this. But we parted on good terms and I'm sure we'll run into each other again."

_"Mhmm. If you say so… Listen, I got someone here so give me a call later on if you need anything. Your brother is going to an interview today so I'll let you know the results when he comes back tonight."_

"Thank you, Father," Yukio said a little easier. "I'll speak with you tonight then."

_"Yeah, talk to you later. And Yukio?"_

"Yes?"

_"Take it easy, will ya? You got a few days off before any kind of work starts so use it to your advantage. Sleep in a bit and relax. Go buy a couple new books or something, alright?"_

"I… Yeah. Okay, I'll do my best." Yukio felt his cheeks flush a bit and he scratched the back of his head.

_"That's my boy. Leave the worrying to your old man. I'll hold down the fort. Talk to you later."_

"Bye." Yukio pulled the phone from his ear and ended the call. He took a deep breath as he stood in the middle of the room. He really didn't have any work to do. He'd done it all yesterday and all of his summer work was done for school. What could he do now?

Relax. He could do that. Yukio looked around his organized room and tucked his phone into his pocket. He'd read all the books he currently owned so he pondered following his father's advice to go to the store and buy a new one, but he didn't even know where to start and going there by himself seemed… oddly undesirable.  _Maybe Ren-kun…_

Yukio sighed slightly. Their conversation the previous afternoon had been beyond tense. It was unfamiliar and terrifying. Nothing like writing letters. But he still couldn't get his mind off of that pink hair of his. Even now, his socks had a familiar pink hue and Yukio wasn't sure if he regretted collecting random articles of clothing that mirrored those childish hearts they used to scribble on their letters.

The letters! Yukio grimaced and nearly smacked his forehead. He'd forgotten to ask his father if about his letter box. After unpacking the previous night, he had discovered that he'd indeed forgotten them and Yukio could only hope they were still in their spot underneath his bed. Yukio pondered calling him back but he was sure his father was busy and had more important things to do. He wouldn't bother him now over something so trivial. He could always ask later.

Yukio sighed and grabbed his bag. He tucked his wallet and a notebook into it before putting it on his shoulder and slipping on his shoes. He walked out of the room. Glancing down the hall, he realized he didn't know Ren-kun's room number but a plan soon formulated in his head within a few seconds.

He descended the steps to the first floor and approached the woman at the front desk with an embarrassed smile. "Hi, I'm sorry. I'm new here and I've forgotten my room number…"

The woman smiled softly and shook her head. "Oh don't worry," she said sweetly. "What's your name? This place is so big. I'll look it up for you without a problem."

"Shima Renzou." Yukio leaned forward a bit.

"Shima… Shima…" The woman looked down the list until her eyes lit up. "Ah! Here you are. Second floor. Room 227."

"Thank you so much!" Yukio smiled brightly. "You saved me a lot of trouble."

Yukio went back up the stairs and walked down the hall, following the numbers until he came across the aforementioned room. The three numbers on the door seemed almost intimidating and Yukio had to take a moment to himself before he knocked on the door.

A few seconds later, the door opened. The person who opened the door was not Renzou. The shorter boy who appeared in front of him seemed equally as surprised as Yukio felt.

"Oh," Konekomaru uttered as he glanced up at Yukio in confusion. Recognition filtered through his eyes after a moment.

"Yukio-kun?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh. Yes, it's me. You're Konekomaru-kun, right?" Yukio blinked in shock but was quick to place an amiable smile on his lips. "Sorry for coming so suddenly, I ran into Ren-kun yesterday and I was wondering if he was around."

Konekomaru looked surprised by Yukio's words. "You did?" The shorter teen frowned slightly as he took in the fact but he gave Yukio a sheepish smile a second later.

"I didn't hear about that. Anyway, he's not here. We switched rooms yesterday," he explained as he gestured over to the room next door. "I'm not sure if he's gotten back yet. He was with me earlier but he said he wanted to explore the school a bit. I'm still organizing stuff so I didn't go with him."

"I see." Yukio glanced to the room next door and nodded slightly. "I suppose I'll check around later then." He turned back to Konekomaru. "Sorry for bothering you. If you see him, can you let him know I dropped by?"

Konekomaru nodded. "Yeah, I will. Sorry I couldn't help. But maybe you'll run into him…"

The suggestion trailed off, and despite the hopeful tone it had been made in, there was a brief pause right after. Konekomaru looked hesitant, and as he stared at Yukio for a moment, it seemed as if he wanted to say something. However, in the end, he merely pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and with a smile he added, "It's nice to meet you after all this time. Hope to see you around more often now that we're all here."

Yukio's shoulders relaxed slightly as did his smile. Even if he never actually spoke with Konekomaru, there was a familiar air about him. He could remember all the fond words Ren-kun wrote about him and he seemed like a friendly individual. "Yeah. Same here. I'm over in Room 236, just down the hall." He pointed off to his right where his room resided. "I hope we can get along from now on." He gave a short, polite bow, which Konekomaru quickly returned.

"Me too. See you around!" he said with an expression that looked more at ease than it had been before.

"Yeah, see you." Yukio gave a small wave before heading down the hall again, towards the stairs. He sighed a bit. Well, there went his previous plans. The chances of running into Ren-kun now were slim. Hopefully Konekomaru would pass on his message and Ren-kun would come see him… Maybe they could have an easier time talking when they weren't too busy being shocked or caught off-guard.

Yukio headed down the stairs, dodging out of the receptionist's field of view, and heading outside. He was sure that, in a few days, the woman would soon forget his face and he'd be just another boy in the crowd of people she saw each day. But for now, it was best to avoid her and do nothing to hamper the natural memory deterioration.

The bookstore was open and not far from there so Yukio headed there first. He browsed the shelves, and for a while he was unable to find a book that caught his interest until he stumbled upon a slightly older cover from used books. It was a book on traditional medicine and Yukio was immediately reminded of the birthday present that Ren-kun had sent him once, long ago…

Yukio left the bookstore without buying anything.

Adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose was more of an unconscious motion than an actual need for adjustment. Really, he couldn't relax like this. But he didn't have any work to distract himself with…

Oh, that's right. He'd gotten the letter a couple days ago. He'd ranked the highest in the entrance exam so he was the first year representative, which meant he had to prepare a speech. Yukio was suddenly happy he'd placed a notebook in his bag. He could find a quiet place and work on that. He had a rudimentary knowledge of the campus, having accompanied his father on several visitations to the Academy before and he remembered a certain spot that used to be mostly empty. He hoped that this was the case again.

Yukio headed down the sidewalk, trying to retrace the steps in his memory. He only had to turn around twice before he found it. A fountain with two tiers, decorated by a group of statues at the top. There were high walls all around and the secluded clearing was empty for now. Of course, most of the students had to be in their dorms or in more popular places like the stores or the cafeteria. With classes not starting for another week, this place would surely remain like this for a while.

He headed over to the fountain and hopped over the small channel so he could pull himself onto the first tier. Yukio pulled his legs up and sat cross-legged on the stone. He placed his bag beside him. It didn't take long for him to settle in comfortably and prop the notebook in his lap with a pencil tapping lightly against his lips.

Now. How to start?

* * *

"I-Is that all?"

"Yep! That's it. How much do I owe ya?" Renzou took out his wallet and grinned winsomely at the cashier whose eyes darted away from him as she finished bagging his purchases.

"That'll be 1160 yen," the brown-haired girl told him trying her best not to seem as uncomfortable as she was.

Renzou took pity on her and quickly paid before picking up the two bags she had set on the counter. On one of them, there was a small pack of milk bottles that he'd bought for Konekomaru as well as a can of milk coffee that he'd bought for himself. On the other, the latest release of SQ Jump had been slipped along with a gravure magazine that had a raunchy-looking cover.

As usual, Renzou had absolutely no shame about facing whoever was behind the register. One could say he enjoyed seeing the reactions he got when he made these kinds of purchases. Especially in cases like this.

Since there was no one waiting in line behind him, Renzou quickly gave in to his temptation and began to chat up the young cashier in front of him.

"Thanks. Gotta say I'm surprised to see someone our age workin' around here already. We haven't even started school!"

The brown-haired girl glanced back at him as he spoke. Renzou smiled as she moved her hair over her shoulder. Upon catching a glimpse of the nametag on her chest, he immediately registered the name into his mind.

Fukuhara Akane, huh?

Akane shrugged slightly at his words but she put on a polite expression as she answered him. "Not everyone can afford everything around here," she said in a noncommittal tone.

Renzou's eyes lit up as he saw his opening.

"Heh, I know what that's like. I mean, I expected some of the things around here to be expensive considerin' this place is famous, but sheesh! The prices in the main cafeteria are insane!"

Shaking his head, Renzou pointed over his shoulder, towards the aisles behind him.

"And all that Mepphy-brand stuff looks shady as hell too. Does anyone even buy that? I mean, if it was cheaper I might be tempted but…"

"I hear it's actually pretty good. It does look shady though, doesn't it?" Akane's tone was a little warmer this time. Her eyes lingered on him for a moment, and in the next, a small smile had settled on her lips. It seemed like Renzou had managed to break through her reserved demeanor.

"Are you looking for part-time jobs? I know a few openings around here," she told him.

Renzou grinned at the offer. "Sweet! I'm not lookin' right now though. Wanna enjoy the last few days before school starts, ya know? But I should probably start to look soon …"

"Oh, I see. Well, I think you'll be fine either way. This place seems like the type that always has some sort of job opening available. I'm sure you'll find something in no time." Akane moved a strand of her hair behind her ear as she spoke. Renzou's eyes lingered on the curve of her ear briefly before focusing back on her eyes.

"Yeah, I got that impression too. Hope we're not wrong." Renzou gave a slightly wince at the thought which made Akane laugh.

"Well, if that ends up being the case, I might be able to lend you a hand. No promises though!"

 _Ah, there we go,_ Renzou thought. The sound of her laugh made his stomach flip pleasantly. "Heh, that's real kind of ya. I see your personality is as winning as your looks."

The smooth words had an immediate effect. Akane's eyes widened in surprise and her cheeks gained a light pink tinge. She tried to wave the compliment off as she looked away, but there was an unmistakably pleased smile on her lips.

"I-In any case, if you have any trouble, I'll be here, so…"

"Yeah, I gotcha. I'll definitely come see ya again. Thanks for everything!"

The girl didn't say anything in reply to his parting words. Nevertheless, Renzou left the shop with a wide grin on his lips. He'd come to the correct conclusion yesterday—the girls at True Cross Academy were especially cute. He was looking forward to starting school if only to meet the rest of his female classmates.

Already excited by the prospect, Renzou walked back in the direction of the dorm with a bounce in his step. The bags hanging off his fingers jostled at his sides. Thoughts of his future conquests played in his mind as he walked in a leisurely pace, but they were halted the moment he heard the familiar beep of his phone.

_[Are you still walking around school?]_

Konekomaru's message flashed on Renzou's screen as he flipped his phone open. The pink-haired teen typed back a quick response.

_[Yeah. Was just finishin' up. I checked out the convenience store. Dude, they sell just about everythin' in this place!]_

Within seconds, Konekomaru's reply came through. Renzou's stomach dropped as he read it.

_[Sounds good! I'll come along next time. By the way, Yukio-kun dropped by earlier. He said he was hoping to meet you again. I didn't know you guys had run into each other already.]_

Yuki-chan had…

Renzou frowned and read the words over for a second and third time. He felt surprised, then annoyed. Seriously? Why did Yuki-chan have to do that for...?

The happy mood he had gained just a few moments ago immediately plummeted. Renzou's frown deepened the longer he stared at the screen of his phone. Not wanting to set off any alarms, he forced himself to quit stalling and replied back.

_[Yeah, we saw each other for a little bit.]_

That sounded a little cold though, didn't it? Renzou bit his lip before adding a second message.

_[Thanks for lettin' me know. Hope I end up runnin' into him again!]_

Deciding that was better, Renzou slipped his phone back into his pocket and let out a sigh.

 _Now what?_ he thought.

Though his original destination had been to head back to the dorm, he didn't want to run the risk of meeting with Yuki-chan again so soon. Yesterday had been awkward enough and Renzou wasn't interested in a repeat experience. Though he knew he couldn't avoid the dorm forever, Renzou decided to keep walking around some more. However, no matter how much he tried, it was impossible for him to relax again. He couldn't stop thinking about Yuki-chan.

Was this how it was going to be from now on? Perhaps it would be easier if he just confronted the other, but the idea of that unbearable conversation made him cringe. He wanted to avoid it as long as possible. Maybe by doing that, Yuki-chan would start doing the same… Renzou doubted he would have a problem with that. It never seemed to bother him before.

Lost in his thoughts as he was, Renzou stopped paying attention where he was walking. His gaze was vaguely focused on the ground before him. He barely registered heading down a set of steps and only looked up when he heard the low hum of a water fountain.

"Wow…" he muttered quietly as he caught sight of the courtyard before him. Just like the rest of the school, it looked vibrant and well-kept. His eyes first focused on the set of statues surrounding the fountain, but soon enough, he noticed the familiar figure sitting there.

Yuki-chan. The last person he wanted to see.

For a moment, Renzou wondered if he would be able to get away with sneaking off. He'd barely made any noise, and his old friend was clearly distracted. But Renzou found himself rooted to the spot. His eyes couldn't help but to linger on the person he'd been trying to avoid. Yuki-chan looked focused as he jotted down something on the notebook that was on his lap. Though Renzou couldn't see his eyes from this angle, his gaze was immediately attracted to the way his glasses were steadily sliding down the bridge of his nose. The water behind him sparkled as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds to shed some light on the scene before him.

 _Beautiful,_ Renzou thought stupidly, swallowing hard as he drank in more and more details the longer he stood there.

Yukio was quickly scribbling down a sentence as his glasses slipped down to the tip of his nose. He seemed eager to finish it though, as it was only when he finished the sentence that he saved the glasses from falling completely off his nose. He pushed them up to the bridge and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes glancing up unconsciously before he looked back to the sizeable amount he'd written. Then he looked up again.

Ren-kun. Exactly the person he'd wanted to see.

He was easily spotted by his pink hair and Yukio wondered if Renzou had come looking for him or merely happened upon him. The latter seemed more likely.

"Ren-kun." He lifted a hand and waved slightly. "Hey. I didn't expect to see you."

Having Yuki-chan's eyes on him made Renzou's expression freeze. His fingers curled a little more tightly around the bags he was carrying but his response wasn't hindered by his inner panic.

"Hey," he said as the corner of his lips lifted slightly. The quiet word lingered in the air. Renzou's earlier thoughts flashed through his mind and unease grew inside of him the longer he stood there. He wanted to run away.

"Didn't expect to see ya around here either. Heard ya stopped by my room. Or well, Koneko-san's room now. Sorry I missed ya." He held up the bags hanging at his sides as if to explain where he'd been. "Luckily I managed to run into ya, huh? But uh, you look busy, so I guess I'll just let ya get back to what you were doin'."

"I don't mind!" Yukio's fingernails were white with the strength in which he was gripping his notebook. He immediately forced himself to loosen his grip. Why was he acting this way? He felt embarrassed and he glanced down to see his almost complete speech. He didn't know why, but…

Yukio swallowed down his panic. He couldn't act this way. He had to get a hold of himself.

"Well, what I mean is that… I told you I made it to the top of the class, right?" Yukio tried to smile but he wasn't sure it came out exactly right. "I have to deliver a speech during orientation and… I could use a bit of help."

 _Huh?_ The offer made Renzou's heart jump. He was dumbfounded by the idea that Yuki-chan was asking him for help. Without thinking, he blurted out—

"From me?"

Embarrassed by his response, Renzou let out a nervous chuckle. His eyes darted to the ground for a moment. He found it hard to meet Yuki-chan's eyes.

"Ya sure about that? Don't think I'd be able to be much help…"

"Of course you will." Yukio seemed a bit more at ease when he saw Renzou's expression. "Even if you just listen, it would really help me out. If you're not too busy."

Renzou wasn't busy. That was obvious enough, but this was the perfect opportunity to set things straight between them. All Renzou had to do is say he already had plans. All he had to do is put on a smile and shake his head, shrug, and that would be the end of it all. The urge was there. There was a part of him that knew that, if he ended things with Yuki-chan now, things would be a lot easier in the future. Simpler.

But when he raised his gaze again, Renzou's eyes lingered on the pale pink socks that were peeking from under Yuki-chan's pants.

"I guess I ain't really doin' much right now…"

The roots that had been clinging to his legs loosened their hold on him. Renzou found himself taking a step forward. For how long had he wanted to do this? For how many years had he wished he could close the distance between them?

Renzou thought of Bon and Rin and the connection they had between them that had never faltered. He thought of the photo that he had received this morning and the text alongside it that had cheerfully affirmed to them that the older Okumura was one hell of a chef. Yearning overpowered his resentment and his envy then. Yuki-chan was so near, and despite it all, Renzou couldn't help but to let himself be tugged back into this.

"Um, so," Renzou licked his lips briefly but mustered up a small grin as he sat down next to the other. "How can I help?"

The smile on Yukio's lips turned a little wider, a little smoother.

"Okay." Yukio turned so he was facing Ren-kun, holding the notebook in front of him. "Listen to this and let me know if it's alright."

Yukio cleared his throat and straightened his spine.

"Passing through the gates of the Academy I so admired, I feel nervous just as much as grateful. Seeing all of your faces, knowing that we won't be alone on this journey through our academic career, makes me hopeful for our futures. We could accomplish a great many things together, as a class, as a unit, and as a school. No matter how daunting the years ahead may seem, together we can surpass any obstacle that comes our way. All the more, I hope we will be able to further our individual skills through friendly competition. I am the freshman representative, Okumura Yukio." He looked at Ren-kun, awaiting his reaction hopefully.

Renzou listened attentively to Yuki-chan's cool, smooth voice. It was a good speech, but seeing him recite it so solemnly made Renzou bring up a fist to cover up his laugh. He felt surprised by the sound himself, and when he saw the other look at him, the slight grin playing on his lips grew wider.

"Sorry. That sounds great. Sheesh, that's just like ya, Yuki-chan." Renzou shook his head slightly. He wouldn't have expected any less from him. But… "Your delivery's a tad stiff though. You oughta relax," he urged him in a teasing voice.

"I see…" Yukio seemed genuinely troubled by Ren-kun's words and he stared thoughtfully at his speech. "Too stiff… Well, I don't want to be too relaxed either, you know? This is the first impression I'm giving, not only to the students but my teachers as well." He pushed up his glasses, feeling his nervousness start to prickle at the back of his neck. How many eyes would be looking at him that day? The mere contemplation of the sheer number of students staring at him on a stage made him pale a bit.

"I suppose I'm just too nervous," Yukio confessed, pressing his fingers against his forehead and closing his eyes.

_"You worry too much."_

Renzou's lips parted and closed shut. The familiar words were at the tip of his tongue but he held them back this time. A part of him wondered if Yuki-chan was tired of hearing that from him. He had always fallen into the habit of pushing things away that were troublesome, especially since there was little he could do to help Yuki-chan since they lived miles away from each other.

But things were different now, right? Things could be different.

"You'll be fine," he said instead. When he saw Yukio's eyes part open, his gaze quickly darted away to stare at the ground. He focused on the green grass beneath their feet, on the sound of the running water behind him, and tried not to chicken out. "You just gotta keep practicin'. There's still a few days before we got orientation so… I can help with that. If you want."

Yukio smiled a bit at his words. The promise to see him again, to speak to him again, really settled his nerves quite a bit. "That would be really helpful. Thank you, Ren-kun," he said, letting the notebook rest in his lap again.

At those words, Renzou felt something inside him ease.

"Not prob! Dunno how much help I'd really be, but…" The pink-haired teen shot the other a glance and genuine grin crossed his lips then. "I'll do my best to lend ya a hand. You can count on it!" he promised.

They spent another hour together. Yukio continued to practice his speech and Renzou made suggestions and critiques in between jokes. The two of them grinned at each other with a camaraderie that surprised Renzou at first—but this was how it was really meant to be, wasn't it? This is how it would have been if they hadn't drifted away from each other.

The entire moment gave Renzou hope. For the first time in a long time, he really felt like things between them could be fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Hope you've enjoyed this week of Until Next Time! Next week we'll be updating several chapters of Forever Yours before returning again to Sincerely. Thanks for reading along!


	34. April 3, 2009

He was wrong.

Renzou had been completely wrong. After their last meeting, the pink-haired teen had gone to meet up with Yuki-chan as they had agreed, but the younger teen had predictably ended up blowing him off. He said he had to run an errand for his dad. Renzou could hardly imagine what sort of errand his dad needed his youngest son to run from all the way over here, but he accepted the excuse despite his wariness. Yuki-chan looked truly apologetic about it and he had even offered to make up for it.

"I'm sure this won't take long. But if I can't today, I'll do my best to meet up with you tomorrow. I... I promise," he had said with a final tone of resolution.

Renzou believed him. He let himself get his hopes up.

But in the end, the younger Okumura never followed through with his promise.

That very day, Bon and Rin had showed up at True Cross Academy without warning. When Konekomaru had gotten a text from Bon that evening asking where to find them, Renzou and Konekomaru had looked at each other in confusion. They were even more shocked when those two had finally showed up at the dorm—Bon's battered appearance and Rin's pointed ears left them gaping for a long moment.

Renzou wondered then where Yuki-chan was.

After Konekomaru was done tending to Bon's injuries, and they all retired to their respective rooms, Renzou decided to find out.

"I'll be right back," he said. He was already ready to make an excuse about there he was heading off to, but Konekomaru spoke up from behind him in a knowing voice.

"Gonna go check up on Yukio-kun?"

Surprised, Renzou looked back at his childhood friend. Konekomaru meet his gaze. Despite the worried crease that still lingered on his forehead, the shorter teen's focus was on him now instead of on Bon.

Renzou rubbed the back of his neck. "Caught me. I mean, I'm a little worried is all. Bon looked pretty beat up, and whatever happened to Rin looks serious. That guy's always been a worrywart, so I figured I could break the news to him an' all."

Konekomaru nodded in understanding, but after a moment, a small frown touched his lips. "Don't you think… he might already know?"

Truthfully, a part of Renzou had already considered that possibility. Yuki-chan was always looking out for his older brother, so Renzou didn't doubt his dad had already contacted him. But if that was true, why hadn't Yuki-chan shown up? Why had Rin been sent here instead of to his brother?

Renzou answered Konekomaru's question with a slight, dismissive shrug. He didn't let his thoughts creep up on his face. "All the more reason to go check up on him. Anyway, I'll be back. Won't take long."

Renzou didn't take long at all. When he knocked on Yuki-chan's door, the person who answered was his roommate. Yuki-chan wasn't there. It seemed like he hadn't come back since he'd left that morning.

 _Just where the hell are ya?_ Renzou wondered, frowning.

Since then, a familiar frustration began to build up inside him. He tried not to let it get to him, but Renzou wasn't able to fool himself.

The next day, Yuki-chan finally showed his face around. He looked as closed off as he had been when Renzou had first run into him just a couple of days ago. Yuki-chan barely spared him a glance, focusing on his brother instead, and on Bon. Renzou tried his best not to show how much that stung him and instead attempted to coax his old friend to join them for breakfast.

For a moment, Yuki-chan looked hesitant, and when they finally met each other's gazes, Renzou was able to spot a flicker of longing behind those bespectacled eyes. But it was gone as fast as it had surfaced and Renzou was left wondering if it had been there at all. When Yuki-chan shook his head and took off with Rin following behind him, Renzou's hands tightened into fists underneath the table. It took him a while before he was able to relax them. Thankfully, Konekomaru did his best to carry out the conversation without him as he caught up with Bon, who was too distracted by his own worries to notice Renzou's souring mood.

_So much for keepin' your promise, Yuki-chan…_

He wasn't surprised when the other continued to remain elusive for the rest of the week. Nevertheless, Renzou spent more time than he wanted to admit to himself wondering just what was keeping the other away. Wasn't it him that had reached out to Renzou first? Hadn't they silently agreed to try to patch things up?

Renzou didn't understand the why Yuki-chan started to pull away from him again—at least, not until Bon told him.

"Are ya serious?" Renzou blurted out, not being able to help himself.  _He's an exorcist?_

Suguro frowned at his response. "So he didn't tell ya either?"

"Ah, jeez, I can't believe Yukio managed to keep all of this hidden for so long. And the old man too!"

"Why did he?" Konekomaru asked Rin, curious.

Rin shrugged as he stared down at the papers in front of him. "Didn't wanna bother me about all this demon stuff I guess," he muttered. "Yukio's been seein' them for ages apparently. It's why he started studying when we were kids."

 _Just like me,_ Renzou thought as he turned back to look through his magazine, pretending to read. The revelation stunned him.  _He's been able to see them for years…_

The pink-haired teen was having a hard time swallowing that. This whole situation felt unreal. But the revelation finally made things click for Renzou. The mysterious job. The diminishing frequency of his letters. The evasive answers to Renzou's questions.

Suddenly, it felt like he knew nothing about Yuki-chan at all.

"I guess that makes sense. Being an exorcist takes a lot of dedication," Konekomaru mused aloud. "Even those who know about the Order tend to stay away if they can't see demons. And not everyone who can see demons chooses to become an exorcist."

A frown flickered on Renzou's face.

Suguro let out a noncommittal grunt in response. "Why's it matter now anyway?" he grumbled. After nudging Rin with his elbow, he gestured to the papers in front of the dark-haired boy. "Quit gettin' distracted an' focus. There's only a couple days left before ya gotta take that test."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going," Rin groused.

Once everyone got back into the task of helping Rin study for his entrance exam, Renzou closed his magazine and made an excuse to leave. He had half-tempted to visit Yuki-chan at his new dorm to confront him, but he doubted the other would be there, much less be willing to put up with his questions.

_Of all the things it had to be… why did it have to be that?_

But beyond the bubbling resentment he felt at the moment, what really irked him was the fact that it had been kept secret from him in the first place. The pink-haired teen felt betrayed. How could Yuki-chan keep such a huge thing from him? The only reason why Renzou had never brought it up before was because he was trying to push away that part of his life. He had never expected that he would have to get involved with the Order. But this was Yuki-chan's entire  _life._

Even if he didn't like it… Renzou would've supported Yuki-chan. He would've… He would've been fine with it. But the other hadn't relied on him. Hadn't trusted him.

"Do ya even need me at all?" Renzou whispered quietly to himself, closing his eyes as he leaned against a rail. He tried to push away the memory of the other smiling, calling out to him, of his neat handwriting and of the long letters they exchanged which, despite their length, said nothing at all.

When the day of the orientation finally arrived, Renzou received the answer to his question. He watched as his old friend walked up to the podium without a falter in his step. The tall teen faced the crowed without fear, and when he spoke, his speech was smooth, composed, and not at all stiff.

It seemed like Yukio had never needed him in the first place.

Renzou wasn't going to forget about that this time around.


	35. April 6, 2009

"Nii-san."

…

"Nii-san!"

…

Yukio's brow twitched as he stared down at his slumbering brother. He'd grabbed his shoulder and shook him, took his blankets, and did everything short of just physically tugging him out of bed. Still, Rin was slumbering deeply.

The younger Okumura looked around with his arms crossed over his chest. Finally, he spotted his brother's phone sitting on the desk nearby. Yukio took out his phone and dialed before placing it on his ear.

Rin's phone began to beep.

"Ryuuji?!" Rin shot up from his bed and scrambled out of bed, tripping over sheets on the floor. He scrambled for his phone and answered it without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Nice to finally see you're awake, Nii-san." Yukio smirked with a tight irritation as he snapped his phone shut.

Rin winced at the sharp sound and gave his brother an apologetic expression.

"Ahaha… Sorry…"

Yukio walked out of the room with a sigh and a deep chuckle attracted his attention from down the hall.

"Rin's finally up and moving?" Shiro walked over to him.

"Yes. Hopefully we can get going soon." Yukio glanced at his brother's bedroom door disdainfully.

"Don't worry. He'll be on time now." Shiro grinned and ruffled Yukio's hair. The young teen protested lightly and quickly fixed it before straightening out his school uniform as if his clothes had also been affected by the fond gesture. "By the way," his father continued, "I met Nagatomo at the train station earlier. He brought along a couple things and I left your stuff on your bed."

"Ah, I see. Thank you." Yukio's lips raised into a small smile. "I'll sort through it once we come back tonight."

"You got time now." Shiro put his hand on Yukio's shoulder and turned him around. "Go on. I'll make sure Rin gets ready. I'm the dad, not you. Shoo."

Yukio stumbled with the light push that propelled him forward. "Okay, okay." He felt his face color with slight embarrassment. He took the short trip down the hallway to his own room and opened it to see a couple bags on the bed opposite from his. It seemed like his father had dropped it off while Yukio had been eating breakfast.

He walked over to the bags and tugged one open. It was mostly clothes as well as a few books he'd left behind. But what caught his eyes immediately was the old and worn shoebox sitting on top of it all. He'd forgotten to ask his father for it, and yet there it was. He could see the faded pink coloring that he'd decorated the box with when he was young.

With soft, tender fingers, the same touch he'd use to treat an open wound, he lifted the box from the bag and sat on his bed.

_Ren-kun._

Yukio furrowed his brow as he opened the top of the box, sifting through the letters. He picked one out at random and unfolded the paper. Ren-kun's handwriting stuck out to him and he skimmed the lettering until he remembered which letter this was.

_I ended up spendin' a lot of time wonderin' what you were up to. I was thinkin ya might've gotten serious with Kaede-san an' all but I guess I'm not the only one having' a hard time keepin' your attention, huh? That job of yours sure is a pain in the ass._

Ah, yes. How many times had he reread this letter? It seemed like the Fates did indeed have it in for him. Yukio sighed, letting his hands and the letter fall in his lap. He remembered walking up on that stage in orientation and the nerves had been pounding in his body. He was sure he would collapse. But somehow, he'd found Ren-kun's familiar head of hair and then it was just like the fountain. Delivering the speech had been easy when he'd imagined the entire stadium to be empty save for one boy.

He didn't know how important Ren-kun's face would be to him after spending so many years staring at his handwriting.

Yukio folded up the letter and tucked it back into the envelope. They seemed so insignificant now. With Ren-kun in the flesh just a few buildings away, these letters seemed meaningless. He furrowed his brow, remembering the new box that sat upon his brother's desk.

He placed the letter back and tucked the box under his bed before standing up to continue unpacking his new bags.

 

* * *

 

"Those keys are so cool!" Rin cried out as he peeked back and forth across the two doors. One side, the dorm. The other side, a huge bridge!

"Don't stand over the threshold, Rin." Shiro smirked. "If the portal closes, you could be split in two."

Rin had never moved so fast. He was on the other side of his father, staring fearfully at the door. Shiro chuckled and pulled out the key before letting the door click close.

They made their way across the bridge. Rin got over his fear quickly and was bounding on ahead, holding onto the strap of his sword sleeve as he leaned over the edge.

"Wow! We're so high up! How do you get up here normally?" Rin marveled.

"Stairs," Yukio said in a deadpan tone. He saw his father glance at him through the corner of his eye but he made no move to look at him.

"Alright, Rin." They approached the shop at the end of the path and Shiro looked at his older son. "Wait right here. Yukio and I will be back in just a second."

"What? Seriously?" Rin huffed but stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Fine."

"We'll be back soon," Shiro assured him before he walked up the steps with Yukio trailing behind.

Once the two of them entered the shop, they were greeted by a familiar voice.

"Ah, it's you two!" The plump woman sitting behind the counter glanced up at them as the door opened. She gave them a short, grateful smile that didn't quite cover the worry in her eyes. "Thank you for coming in such a short notice," she said as she put her pipe down on the table.

"It's not a problem." Shiro smiled kindly and walked over. "You remember my son, right? We'll both be doing our best to help you out."

Yukio smiled politely. "Yes. We'll do everything we can." His eyes flittered around the store, taking a quick observation of their surroundings but they settled on something a bit longer than necessary and it was gone before he'd really gotten a chance to make sure. Yukio's eyes focused back on the manager, doing his best to forget the image that had been burned into his mind.

"So, tell us what's happened exactly." Shiro didn't notice and continued speaking to the woman.

The brown-haired woman sighed. "There's not much to tell. Shiemi just isn't doing well. Her legs are getting worse by the day. I took her to see a doctor, but her bones, muscles, nerves… everything seems to be in perfect order. I don't know what else could be wrong. I tried to talk to her about it, but we're not in the best terms right now…"

She gave Shiro a tired smile. "I can only turn to you exorcists."

Shiro nodded thoughtfully. "And the garden?"

The smile vanished, replaced by a thin frown of disapproval. The older woman raised her pipe up to her lips and took a quiet breath of smoke.

"She's still tending to it. Ever since her grandmother died, she's done nothing but that…" After shaking her head slightly, the shopkeeper looked up at Shiro. "Please, help her. I don't know what else to do for her."

Shiro put on a reassuring smile. "We'll do our best, Manager. You can rest easy for now. Do you mind if we go out to the garden and speak to her?"

"Not at all." The brown-haired woman got up to her feet. "Please, follow me," she said before leading them outside.

They walked down a set of stairs and down to the garden. There was a pair of figures chatting nearby among the flowers.

"Nii-san?!" Yukio blinked as he recognized the figure. He looked over towards the gate of the garden to find it propped up precariously. He rubbed his forehead slightly. "Nii-san, we told you to wait…!"

"It's not like I did anything bad! I was just helping her out!" Rin protested, holding the pot for the blonde girl.

Shiro chuckled slightly and shook his head. "It's fine, it's fine." He turned his attention to the blonde instead and walked over to her. "Shiemi-san. How are you doing today?" He crouched down beside them and Yukio followed, though remained standing.

The blonde girl sitting next to Rin glanced between Yukio and Shiro. She looked surprised. "I'm alright…" she said after a moment. Her hands nervously gathered to the top of her legs and she began to play with the cloth of her kimono. "Really, the two of you didn't have to come all the way here for me."

"Shiemi. Let Fujimoto-sensei take a look at your legs."

Shiemi immediately tensed at her mother's words. "But…!" Her hands stilled and then her dirt-stained fingers began to dig into her kimono. She stared at her mother with a pleading gaze, but the older woman's expression remained impassive. Frowning, Shiemi tore her gaze away, and after glancing at Yukio for a moment, she turned her focus to the field of flowers next to her. "There's no need. I haven't… I haven't had anything to do with demons!" she protested.

Shiro's expression turned slightly sympathetic but he did his best to keep his tone soft. "Shiemi-san. We just want to make sure you're okay." He glanced towards his sons before settling on his youngest. "Heh." He grinned at Shiemi. "Unless you want Yukio to take care of you? He's recently got his Doctor meister not too long ago."

Yukio flushed slightly and his shoulders tensed. "I'd be willing to if it made you more comfortable, Shiemi-san," he muttered.

Shiemi's eyes widened at the offer.

"W-Well…" Though she still looked hesitant, her cheeks were gaining a faint pink tinge. "…Alright…" she murmured, still not quite looking up at them.

"Alright then." Shiro stood up and Yukio stepped forward, crouching down where his father had been.

"May I?" Yukio reached forward, his fingers hovering over the hem of Shiemi's kimono.

Shiemi didn't meet Yukio's eyes but she nodded faintly. Within moments, her legs were stretched out in front of her and Yukio's fingers were examining the thick swollen skin of her legs which looked like roots.

Shiro's expression tensed as Rin leaned forward, his mouth agape. Yukio furrowed his brow and tentatively touched one of the thick swellings on her ankle.

"Father." Yukio looked up at the man who nodded.

"Don't worry." Shiro gave Shiemi's mother a smile. "We've got a pretty good grasp on the situation now. We'll be able to fix this soon."

"What's wrong with her?" the older woman asked worriedly. "Is she being possessed?"

Shiemi's face paled at the question. "N-No! That can't be!" She looked at Yukio anxiously.

"Not exactly." Shiro gestured towards the shop. "Yukio will take care of her for right now. Let's go talk."

Shiemi's mom glanced at her daughter, frowning, but she nodded at Shiro's words. "Alright..." she said, sighing heavily.

The two adults left the garden, leaving the three teenagers alone behind. Shiemi looked troubled and her fingers dug into the ground as silence fell over the garden.

"...Is it... really that bad?" she whispered.

"Yukio, what's wrong with her? Is she okay?!" Rin's voice was full of concern and it made the younger of the two brothers frown a bit, but when he turned to Shiemi, there was a reassuring smile on his lips.

"Don't worry, Shiemi-san." He tugged the kimono back over her legs respectfully. "This can be cured without a problem."

Yukio's words made Shiemi relax a bit. The blonde girl loosened her hold on the grass as she looked down at her legs stretched out in front of her.

"I see…" she said.

Though her kimono was covering the root-like, swollen skin, Shiemi was still very aware of the state she was in. Her legs felt numb and her body was as weak as ever. The ache that had been increasingly building in her chest after her grandmother's death was still ever-present, making her feel more tired, but despite that, with Yukio's reassuring expression, she felt some of the color on her face return. "I'm glad. I know you're always busy, but thank you for coming to see me, Yukio."

Rin blinked and looked between the two of them. "Wait, you two know each other?" He pointed back and forth between Yukio and Shiemi.

"Oh, um, yes." Yukio looked at his brother a bit sheepishly.

Shiemi also glanced at Rin. She giggled slightly at the exaggerated look of surprise on his face.

"We've know each other for a few years now," she explained helpfully. "He comes by our shop often to buy supplies. And he's helped me study for a few of my classes too!" She looked back at Yukio now with a happy, grateful smile.

"Yukio never mentioned he had a younger brother though," she added thoughtfully.

"I-I'm the older brother!" Rin cried out in indignation, prompting Shiemi to apologize. "Yukio is the younger one!"

"Maybe you should start acting like it, Nii-san." Yukio gave a small chuckle but Rin's small tantrum fell on slightly deaf ears as the younger Okumura glanced back towards Shiemi. He could still remember when he'd met her.

He'd been so nervous back then. So tense. And he'd been caught off guard by the shy young blonde who came out of her garden to offer him a four-leaf clover. He took it gratefully but her clearly admiring  _"Sensei!"_  had made him a tad uncomfortable.

_"You don't have to call me Sensei… You can call me something more casual. Like…"_

_"Yuki-chan!"_

_"Yukio!" The reaction had been immediate and it made both Shiemi and Shiro blink in surprise. Yukio looked at his father sheepishly before giving Shiemi a kind smile. "You can call me Yukio, if you like."_

_Shiemi's eyes widened for a moment, but the sight of that smile caused her to mirror Yukio's expression. She nodded and stared up at him with a glowing expression as her hands hovered over her chest._

_"Okay!" she said._

"So are you an exorcist too?" Shiemi asked Rin. Yukio focused back on the conversation and saw Shiemi staring up at Rin with the same type of admiration Yukio was used to seeing directed to himself.

However, before Rin could answer, Shiemi's mother stalked back into the garden with Shiro at her heels.

"Shiemi! You are to leave this garden at once!"

"H-Huh?"

Shiemi turned to look at her mother, wide-eyed and confused. She tried to protest against the demand, but her mother continued to speak over her.

"Fujimoto-sensei explained the whole situation to me. You can't keep this up any longer. I don't care how much you treasured your grandmother, protecting this accursed garden isn't worth destroying your health!"

Shiemi flinched at the words. Her lips pressed together tightly but when she saw her mother reach over to grab her arm, she leaned away and glared up at her mother.

"Don't talk about the garden like that! This was Granny's greatest treasure!" Shiemi's hands clenched and the ache in her chest stung more deeply than ever as her mother continued to stare down at her with that unflinching gaze. "I can't abandon it. This is all I have left of her… but you've never cared about it! How can you understand?" She shook her head and her breath hitched as she struggled to hold back the resentment she felt for her mother. But she couldn't contain it any longer.

"I hate you!" she shouted.

But as soon as the words left her mouth, the tension in Shiemi's body wavered. Her eyes dulled and within moments she fell unconscious, landing limply on the grass.

"Hey!" Rin scrambled to Shiemi's side and looked down at her.

"Yukio, take her inside, will you?" Shiro frowned from behind the manager.

Yukio nodded and gathered the young blonde in his arms, lifting her up easily. He pressed his lips together in a thin line and he pushed the worry back down his throat.

"Let me help."

Yukio blinked in surprise as Rin walked up to them. He was about to tell him there was no need but his older brother's brow was furrowed and he looked as worried as Yukio felt. The taller teen sighed dubiously.

"Alright. Come on, Nii-san."

Yukio lead the way inside to the warehouse that was in the garden, leaving their father with Shiemi's mother. With Rin's help, he was able to tuck Shiemi into bed. Once the blankets were over her shoulders, the older Okumura looked at his younger brother.

"What's going on with her?" Rin frowned.

Yukio shook his head. "It's just a demon. Father might have an idea on how to take care of it. We should go back to him." He turned to his brother and smiled. "This should be a simple job. Shiemi-san should come out of this just fine as long as we do as we're told."

Rin looked at Yukio and nodded. "Right."

The two of them walked back out towards where their father was waiting for them. They trailed after Shiro and followed Shiemi's mother as she led them back to the shop, where she prepared some tea.

"I think it's best not to overexert her while we take care of this," Shiro said, speaking in a slightly firm tone that was tinged with sympathy.

Shiemi's mother rubbed her hand over her eyes.

"I'm a failure of a mother," she murmured. "I've never been close to that child at all. I don't know how else to communicate with her." She let out a loud sigh before picking up her pipe again.

"I apologize for my outburst. But when you said it was the garden that was causing all of this, I didn't know what else to do…"

Shiro shook his head and pulled out a box of matches which he offered to her. "I understand your worry." He reached over and ruffled Rin's hair who was sitting closest to him. The boy protested faintly and batted his hand away. "If anything happened to either of my boys, I don't know what I would do."

Yukio silently watched his father and his brother as he sipped his tea.

The older woman gave Shiro a grateful smile, but the lines of her face remained as troubled as before.

"You're lucky to have such a close relationship with your sons. It's too late for me to fix my own. I don't blame Shiemi for reacting like that to me. I was never there for her. It was her grandmother who raised her for me all these years since I was always too busy with this shop." Ignoring the tea in front of her, the woman let out a small breath of smoke as she looked down at the counter with a frown. "That garden is her last memento of her grandmother. I know how much it means to her. But I can't let her waste away like this. So please, do whatever you have to do. I'll take the brunt of her anger without complaint."

"But you're her mom, aren't you?" Rin spoke up, trying to keep his tone respectful even though he was clearly out of turn.

Yukio's lips thinned. He only hoped his father would stop Rin before he continued. Unfortunately, he didn't.

"You shouldn't give up on her yet! I'm sure… once the demon's gone, she'll see, right?"

Shiemi's mom glanced at Rin. She looked surprised by his outburst. "If things were that easy…" she trailed off before shaking her head. "But I suppose you're right. It's too early to call it quits." She smiled at him kindly. "Thank you. All of you," she said.

Yukio's fingers tightened on his teacup and he pushed up his glasses. "We're sure that the demon resides in that garden," he said, forcing his hands to lay on the surface of the table. "And once it's taken care of, Shiemi-san will return to normal. So you needn't worry too much."

Shiro nodded. "It's possible this demon is using Shiemi and the garden's power itself to build its strength. Maybe it was weak before. Either way, we'll get rid of it."

"How are you guys gonna find it?" Rin looked at his father and brother.

"We'll have to lure it out somehow—Nii-san?!" Before Yukio could finish speaking, Rin had stood up and walked out of the shop. "Nii-san, where are you going!?" Yukio stood up quickly to follow after his brother. However, Rin was already out of the shop by the time Yukio and Shiro got to their feet.

"Stay here. Things might take a dangerous turn out there," Shiro warned, addressing Shiemi's mother. He didn't wait for an answer.

By the time they reached the gate to the garden, the two of them heard a loud crash.

Yukio was about to call out to his brother who was picking up potted plants and smashing them harshly onto the floor. But a weight on his shoulder silenced him. He turned to look at his father's passive face, then stared at his brother trash the garden with a tense jaw.

They weren't the only spectators to this scene.

"What are you doing?!"

It was Shiemi who spoke up. Clinging to the doorframe of the warehouse, she watched with an ashen face as Rin picked up another pot and threw it to the ground.

"Stop! Please stop!" Shiemi hobbled over to Rin, falling in to the ground in her hurry. She dragged herself forward as she tried to grasp onto Rin's arm.

Rin paused as he felt the tug on his sleeve and gripped tightly to the pot in his hand. He gritted his teeth. "What's holding you down like this!?" His voice was loud and frustrated. "What is it!?"

Shiemi's fingers dug into the fabric of Rin's sleeve. The question struck her deeply. Rin's prodding gaze made Shiemi remember the promise she made herself. The reasons behind it. Her chest ached as the memory of her sweet grandmother resurfaced. Her kind words, her gentle smile, the way she cared for Shiemi in the same way she cared for this garden…

"If…" Shiemi whispered. "If I had only come back home sooner… If I had helped Grammy that day, she wouldn't have died. If it wasn't for me…!" Shiemi shook her head fiercely. She couldn't find the strength to say the words. Instead, she looked up at Rin pleadingly, begging him to understand.

"That's why… I have to protect this place!"

Rin was silent for several moments before he finally shook his head. He put the pot down gently this time and grabbed her elbows tightly.

"If that's the case, then stop making your mother worry like this!" Rin glared straight into her eyes. "She's only trying to look out for you. She's… She wants to protect you just as much as you want to protect this garden!"

Yukio felt the fingers on his shoulder tighten.

"Besides," Rin continued. "Would your grandma really want you to stay here? Don't you want to find the Garden of Amahara?! That's what you told me, right?! Would your grandma want you to give up your dream for this!?"

Rin's words, his piercing gaze, and the tight hold on her arms made Shiemi's breath hitch. Tears slipped past her eyes as it all began to hit her.

"Don't say that…" Shiemi's heart constricted painfully as she realized her mistake. Rin was right. She didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to let go of this garden. But if her grandma were still here… Surely, surely she wouldn't want Shiemi to go on this way.

"I've… I've been so stupid…" As she loosened her grip on Rin's sleeve, Shiemi found herself falling limp again. Tears continued to slip down her cheeks as the gravity of the situation finally hit her. The constant ache she's been feeling in her body for days felt worse than ever and the numbness in her legs caused a horrifying dread to crawl up inside her. A trembling sob escaped her lips. "I've been so stupid, and now I can't even move my legs…!"

Yukio stared at the scene in slight awe. His brother continued to shock him with his idealistic ways. But the squeeze on his shoulder brought him back to reality. He walked into the garden a step behind his father.

"That's just what we needed." Shiro smirked proudly.

"Don't worry, Shiemi-san." Yukio smiled. For once, his brother had actually helped… "With your heart settled like this, the demon is bound to show itself."

"Yeah!" Rin smiled brightly at the blonde girl. "We're gonna help you! You'll definitely be able to walk again!"

"Really…?"

Shiemi rubbed her eyes and looked up at the twins, finding comfort in their words. Shiro's reassuring nod made a trembling smile cross her lips.

"I…"

_'Unforgivable…!'_

Shiemi's eyes widened as she heard a familiar voice.

_'You've broken our promise…'_

"Shit…" Shiro tensed as he took out his long-barreled revolver. It was clear to Yukio that his father hadn't expected things to escalate this quickly.

"Nii-san, Shiemi-san, get back!" Yukio shouted as he reached inside his coat and his fingers closed around the handle of two guns. But get back from where? It was a question that was soon answered.

Fear crossed Shiemi's eyes then and her hand clutched the front of her kimono as she felt her heart throb painfully.

"What…?"

She met Yukio's eyes for a brief moment, but before she could say anything else, the roots that had formed on her legs rapidly began to grow. They sunk into the ground and merged with the garden. Shiemi let out a terrified yell which was drowned out by the demon's loud laughter. Vines twisted across her body and fastened her into place until the plant and Shiemi were joined into one being. The demon continued to laugh as the light from Shiemi's eyes dulled. Her head fell limp as flowers sprouted from the vines that were wrapped across her body.

 _'You exorcists arrived here too late!'_  the demon sneered.  _'We've become one now and we'll remain in this garden until we die!'_

Rin let out a grunt as the sudden growth shoved him backwards. He tumbled and gripped tightly to the strap on his sword, landing in a crouch on the grass.

Yukio aimed with his two guns, staring at the demon. His gaze flitted around, trying to find any possible weak spots. But with both him and his father having guns out, they needed a Knight. He glanced at his brother and his sword and, for a split second, he considered it. But before he could come to a decision, his father spoke up.

"Rin! Get back! Go guard the gate!" Shiro shouted, training his revolver on the demon. "You make sure it doesn't get out!"

"O-Okay!" Rin seemed unsure, but he stood up and ran back towards the metal fence.

 _But it won't leave._  Yukio looked at his father with wide eyes.  _The demon wants to stay._  But he saw the minute loosening of his father's shoulders as Rin took his post by the gate and he knew that Shiro had only said it to get Rin out of the way.

And to think, he had been about to ask his brother to use his sword. His flames.

Yukio bit his lip in frustration before swallowing down the treacherous feelings. They had a demon to kill. There was no time for self-loathing.

"Yukio!" Shiro shouted before he pulled a small grenade of holy water out of one of the pouches on his belt. He flicked off the cap and tossed it at the demon.

Yukio crossed his left arm underneath his right and aimed down the steady sight, both eyes open and focused. Shiemi was at the center of this demon. Accuracy was a necessity.

_'Filthy exorcists!'_

The demon screeched. It tried to inch away but the spread of the holy water was wide and the plant's roots were deeply wedged into the ground, making it impossible to do anything but try to twist away. Yet, despite the burning, paralyzing pain the demon felt, it made no move to let go of Shiemi. Instead, the vines that were wrapped around the blonde girl tightened viciously. A trembling limb reached out to lace around Shiemi's neck.

_'H-Hahaha… you w-won't shoot me. Not unless you want to kill this girl too.'_

"Won't I?" Yukio grinned sharply. His cold words served their purpose in rattling the demon before them. The vines and leaves tensed and stilled, as did his target. Yukio pushed a new magazine into his gun and took the shot.

"YUKIO!"

The voice from behind him was one he didn't expect. Yukio turned to see his brother abandoning the gate as blood splattered over Shiemi's shoulder. Rin rushed forward as the demon expelled Shiemi from its body, its shield lost and useless. His older brother was there, catching Shiemi in his arms as the final step in the plan was performed.

"Back to Gehenna with you!" Shiro now took aim. The deafening sound of the revolver made their ears ring and the kickback caused the muzzle to fly vertically in front of the man's face. But no sooner than a second, Shiro aimed and shot again. And once more. It was in that final shot that the demon perished with an unearthly howl.

"Hey...!" Rin looked down at the blonde girl in his arms. "Shiemi! Wake up!"

"She's fine." Yukio frowned. "The bullets I used were fake. Just give her a few moments to regain her strength. She has survived through an ordeal."

No sooner than he was done speaking, Shiemi's eyes fluttered open. She lifted her head up as she regained consciousness.

"Rin…Yukio…"

The blonde girl looked between the two brothers and tried to piece together what had just happened. She'd blacked out but… now that she was awake again, she noticed that the ache that had been wearing down her body for months was gone now.

"Is it… over?"

Rin sighed heavily with relief. "Yeah. The demon's gone," he said, grinning.

Yukio crouched down. "You should be able to walk now, Shiemi-san." He offered her his hand and the two brothers helped Shiemi to her feet.

"Oh…!" How long had it been since she'd been able to support her own weight? Shiemi tentatively took a step forward and relief flooded her when she neither winced in pain nor collapsed.

"I can walk…" She glanced between Rin and Yukio again, smiling gratefully. "Thank you—" she began to say.

That's when her mother came out.

"Shiemi!"

Glancing up, Shiemi noticed her mother walking down the stairs to the garden, towards them. She stopped only when she was a few feet away from there. Though the distance was short, it felt as if there was an unbridgeable gap between them. There was an expression on her face that Shiemi hadn't noticed before.

_"She's only trying to look out for you."_

Rin's voice echoed in Shiemi's mind.

"Mom…"

_Whap!_

"Nii-san!" Yukio looked affronted as Rin smacked Shiemi over the head. It was a light smack, but a smack all the same. But Rin ignored him and frowned resolutely.

"Just go to her!" Rin pointed at her mother. "You shouldn't hold back around your parents!"

Shiemi glanced up at Rin, still rubbing her head from the blow, but she eventually she nodded. The two brothers watched as Shiemi and her mother made up.

Yukio observed the tearful reunion and felt a twisting in his gut. A glance to the side showed him the bright smile that sat firmly on his brother's lips. And rightfully so. They'd won. They'd freed Shiemi from the demon and her relationship with her mother was on the mend.

So why—

"You did good, boys." Yukio grunted when an arm hooked around his neck and he was tugged into his father's chest. His brother experienced the same treatment and the two nearly knocked foreheads. But Rin met it with a fond snigger.

Yukio looked up and met the eyes of his father. He could see the pride dancing behind those familiar spectacles and a rush of warmth filled his chest. His lips widened of their own volition and Yukio smiled.

But it felt different. It felt different from the smiles he'd been faking these past few days, from the one he'd spotted in the shop. The mirror he'd glanced at showed a smile so plastic, so… wrong, it had caught him off guard. It was as if he'd placed a mask over his face. It was unlike his own, unlike what he felt now at this moment, pressed against his father's chest, and unlike the grins of his family that currently filled his view.

Yukio's fingers curled tightly into the back of Shiro's coat.

Which smile had he shown to Ren-kun?


	36. April 7, 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're a bit behind schedule for Sincerely since rynoa26 went out of town last week, but there will be a new Sincerely chapter next week as usual! There will also be another UNT chapter this week, since this one is short, so look forward to it! ;)

Yukio stared down at the screen of his phone. He'd registered Ren-kun's phone number into it and it was now sitting there innocently on the screen. The paper that Rin had given to him earlier was now crumpled in the trash since he had what he needed.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, placing his phone down on the sheets beside him. This was more stressful than he thought. The day before, after dealing with the disaster in Shiemi's garden, his thoughts had circled around Ren-kun and they had only been magnified by the small outburst during class from his friend… Or was it former friend now? Yukio picked up the phone again and stared at the small "delete" underneath the contact number. Would that be the best choice? Should he give up?

_"When you have a fight with your friend, the best thing to do is to talk about it, right? So here! Call him and ask him to hang out or something! Don't keep anymore secrets!"_

Right… It seemed like the most logical thing to do. But every time his finger got close to the call button, he remembered the cold and sharp tone that had not only surprised him but also stabbed him. He… wanted to get along with Ren-kun. He wanted to be his friend like before. But, at this point, would Ren-kun want to?

There was only one way to find out…

Yukio swallowed, steeled himself, and pressed the call button.

_"Hello?"_

When the call connected, Renzou's tone was light and free of the veiled hostility he'd shown earlier today. For a second, the nerves in Yukio's chest loosened. Then, Renzou said,  _"Who's this?"_

Yukio opened his mouth but no voice came out. He cleared his throat. "Ren-kun, it's me, Yukio. I got your number from Nii-san. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

 _"…Yukio."_   Renzou's voice sounded surprised. The line went quiet for a long moment save for the quiet breath that he took. When the older teen spoke again, his tone remained quiet and became neutral.  _"Actually, I am a little busy right now. Did ya need somethin'?"_

"Oh." Yukio suddenly felt caught off-guard. His feet bounced on his toes nervously as he gripped the fabric of his pants, but he maintained an even tone. "Well then, I'll make this brief. I feel as though we have much to discuss regarding our friendship and these past couple days and I was hoping I could meet with you tomorrow and we can talk and possibly work things out."

 _"…Work things out?"_   The silence that followed those words was heavy, broken only by a quiet, humorless snort. Renzou's voice lacked its usual warmth when he spoke next.  _"What exactly do ya wanna work out between us?"_   he asked.

Yukio's chest tightened and he was reminded of the cold tone Renzou had had towards him in class. Still, he persevered. "I'm sure you're aware of the difficulties we've been having. So…" He swallowed. "Please, let's talk about this face to face. You're a dear friend to me and we should clear the air."

 _"I think things are pretty clear between you and me already,"_  Renzou muttered.  _"There's no point in talkin' anythin' over. And anyway, ya don't have to explain anythin' to me. I get it, okay?"_

 _Get it?_  Yukio furrowed his brow. Get what? What was he talking about? But there wasn't much time to ponder over it as Renzou continued to speak.

_"Look, I gotta go. I'm sorry for makin' things difficult for ya during class today. I won't do it again, so don't worry."_

"Wait, Ren-kun." The words came out of his mouth before he really knew what he wanted to say. Yukio sighed, stress running high. He pulled off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Ren-kun," he repeated with a calmer tone. "Please, if you could allow me this courtesy of explaining myself…"

 _"Ya don't owe me anythin', Yukio. Seriously. It's fine,"_   Renzou repeated. _"And I gotta go, so… I guess I'll see ya around."_

The line cut and Yukio pulled the phone from his ear in time to see the blurry call end screen. He felt defeat settle deeply in his stomach like a cold metal weight. He gripped the phone and his lips pursed together. Was this how it was going to end?

He thought of his brother, how Nii-san was always hanging off Ryuuji-kun's elbow and smiling with his friends… and Ren-kun as well. He felt a conditioned and heated jealousy rush through his veins. Rin was always better than him at these things. If he was as good as his older brother, he surely wouldn't have lost Ren-kun in the first place.

Was this really how it was going to end?

… Yukio couldn't give up. That's not what Nii-san would do. That's right, Nii-san would push through right up until there was nothing left to push. Yukio put his glasses back on. There was no sense in trying again tonight. He would have to let the tensions die down a bit… Perhaps he'd give it a couple days before he tried again.


	37. April 10, 2009

The moment he got back to his room, Renzou plopped down on his bed and buried his face into his pillow. It was Friday. He should be rejoicing over the fact that the week was almost over, but they still had morning classes tomorrow, and even worse, he was still dealing with the aftermath his actions had triggered the other day.

Ever since he had snapped at Yukio in the middle of class, the rest of their friends had finally clued in on the fact that things weren't well between them. That meant that, since then, they hadn't been able to let go of the issue. Renzou understood their concern, he really did, but that didn't mean he appreciated it. Things between him and Yukio were over. He'd decided on that after he'd found out Yukio had been lying to him for years, and his determination had only grown since that day. Of course, he'd tried to keep up pretenses for a while, for the sake of their friends, but Renzou's temper had gotten the best of him. He was still mad at himself for letting that happen. It was usually easy for him to bury his emotions and keep his true thoughts at bay, but seeing Yukio wearing that accursed uniform for the first time had rattled him.

Now, he couldn't escape Konekomaru's knowing looks, Bon's pointed frowns, and Rin's questioning eyes.

At least he was able to avoid Yukio. Renzou was grateful that they no longer shared a dorm, and glad that they only had to attend Anti-Demon Pharmacology twice a week. He only had to endure facing Yukio then, and as awkward as that had been so far, Renzou was hanging on to the hope that this would all blown over soon enough.

 _If it doesn't, this year's gonna suck,_ he thought bitterly.

Renzou's fingers began to dig into his sheets. He felt frustrated. There was enough going on in his life. He didn't need this, too, dragging him down. Not for the first time, he wished he had never come to True Cross Academy…

The sound of his phone ringing interrupted Renzou's somber thoughts.

An irritated groan escaped him. Renzou considered letting it ring, but he reluctantly rolled to his side and reached for his phone. His heart sank down to his stomach the moment he saw the name on the screen.

_Okumura Yukio._

Renzou stared at his phone for a moment and wondered if he had fallen asleep already.

_Are ya freakin' kiddin' me?_

Why was Yukio calling him again?

Renzou's jaw set and he jabbed the ignore button angrily before throwing his phone to the side. He curled back into his bed in a foul mood.

A minute later, his phone began to vibrate in short bursts. Renzou ignored it for the entirety of two minutes and then his curiosity got the better of him. He read the text messages that had arrived with a blank look on his face.

_[Ren-kun, I'm going to be at the cafe nearby the dorms at 5 PM. The roof is purple and you can most likely see it from the dorm building. You can't miss it.]_

_[If you could meet me there, I would greatly appreciate it.]_

So Yukio wanted to meet with him…

This was the second time Yukio had reached out to him like this. Renzou frowned at his phone and tried not to let the ache in his chest rule his actions again.

"Why do ya keep doin' this…?" he muttered quietly to himself as he stared down at his phone. He let the screen go dark and then flipped his phone shut. Unable to help himself, he got up from his bed and headed to his window. He spotted the building Yukio had mentioned right away. Renzou wondered if the other was already there, waiting for him. Was he really expecting Renzou to show up?

A small part of him felt tempted. A part of him wondered what Yukio planned to say to him. The other's last attempt to talk to him had been laughable. The stiff, formal tone he'd taken had reminded him of the last few letters they had exchanged. Thinking back on it now made Renzou feel tired. He didn't want to keep relieving these moments, these feelings. He'd had enough.

Renzou let his gaze drop with a sigh, and as he slipped back into bed, he willed himself to sleep and to forget.

 

* * *

 

Yukio's fingers tapped on the surface of the table in a quick and agitated pace. He glanced at the clock again for what seemed like the thousandth time and saw the numbers change.

_6:47 PM_

He pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked down at the coffee in front of him which had long since turned cold. The time of "he could just be running late" had passed and Yukio was aware that he'd been ignored. Ren-kun didn't want to meet with him. He didn't want to work this out at all. Ren-kun really wanted to give up on this.

There was the distinct sound of Styrofoam ripping and he looked down to see the cold coffee spilling out over the table from a hole his fingers had made. A waitress hurried over with napkins before Yukio could even register what happened. After a small bit of fussing and reassuring the waitress that the coffee had been cold, and thus he'd not been burned, he made his way out of the shop. His pace was quick yet aimless. He felt a multitude of emotions in his chest. Anger, hurt, helplessness, and determination.

He couldn't let it end like this. He  _wouldn't_  let it end like this.

Yukio was thankful that his pants had been black so the coffee stain didn't show as he found purpose in his step and headed straight for the boys dorm.

It was about seven in the evening when he arrived. The sun had set and Yukio tried not to knock too hard on Ren-kun's door even though his fists were shaking. Time passed all too slowly as he waited for the door to open, and when it finally did, he forced himself not to look as nervous as he felt.

"…Yukio." Renzou stared at Yukio blankly, too surprised to show any other sort of emotion. He couldn't believe the other had actually come by to see him.

"What are ya doin' here?" he asked quietly.

"Please let me in." Yukio's tone was as tense as his jaw. "I would rather discuss this privately since you seem loathe to do so in public."

Renzou's eyes narrowed at the jab.

"I ain't fond of the idea of talkin' with ya privately either," he said, standing his ground.

"Why not?!" Yukio's voice raised slightly in volume but he quickly hushed it with his next words. "Don't you want to fix things? I thought we were friends, Ren-kun. We've been through too much for you to shut me out like this."

Renzou stared at Yukio incredulously.

"Friends…?" The pink-haired teen smiled tightly as he shook his head. "Are ya seriously, actually listenin' to yourself?" Renzou scoffed. "Don't ya freakin' pin this on me. The one who shut the other out first was you, and ya know it," he snapped. His hand tightened around the doorknob, and he considered shutting the door right then, but a fire had lit up inside of him already, and if Yukio was going to continue to insist on going through with this, then Renzou wasn't going to avoid it any longer. He stepped aside and let the other walk inside.

"Get in."

Yukio's anger tamed slightly as he stepped over the threshold. He turned to face him and once the door was closed, he started speaking. His tone was softer than it was in the hall. "Look, I'm aware of my own mistakes and I'm willing to make it up to you. I know I've been busy and I know that's no excuse and I'm sorry. So please, let's just talk about this. Stop pushing me away."

Renzou looked at Yukio with a blank expression. The ball of anger inside of him continued to grow and grow as he listened to the other speak.

"Is that all?" he asked tonelessly. "That all you've got to say?"

Yukio's eyes widened in slight shock and, again, Renzou had caught him off-guard. He opened his mouth for a moment before frowning. "Ren-kun… I… What else do you want me to say? I apologized and I want to fix our friendship."

Renzou let out a humorless snort. "It's a little too late for that." The pink-haired teen slipped his hands into his pocket and smiled thinly. "Ya really think this is just about ya ditchin' me, don't ya?" The more he stared at the other, the more Renzou's resentment for him grew. How could Yukio be so clueless? How could he not realize what it was that was bothering him?

Renzou was tired of waiting for the other to own up for his mistakes.

"That ain't it at all," he told him flatly. "What I'm pissed about is the fact that you've been keepin' secrets from me. You've been doin' it for  _years._ And not once since we met up did ya think to talk to me about it all. Some friendship we've got," he spat bitterly. Clenching his jaw, Renzou went on before the other could speak.

"Ya know, for a while I thought we could fix things too. When we met the other day at the fountain, I… I wanted things to go back to the way they were too. But let's be real. There's no way that's ever goin' to happen. Whatever we had back then was a thing of the past. We're different people now."

Renzou own words pained him despite the anger that was driving him to speak. He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to continue. He couldn't back out now. Not anymore. As he stared straight into Yukio's eyes, Renzou steeled his heart and said the words he knew had to be said.

"Let's just call it quits."

The steel in Renzou's heart was like a knife to Yukio's chest. He had been lying, and he'd known it. But before, he thought it was out of necessity. Before, he thought that his friend didn't know of the Order… But afterwards? It was all about Nii-san. He still couldn't tell Renzou the whole story. It would endanger his brother… But… He didn't want to lose his only friend.

"I refuse to accept that!" Yukio kept the eye contact. There was an almost desperate tilt to his tone and his arm moved sharply at his side as if to mirror his distress. "Yes, I lied, but I had my reasons! If you'll just…"  _let me explain? Tell Ren-kun that you're the son of Satan? That your older brother inherited the demonic blue flames?_  "If you'll just listen, I'm sure we can come to an understanding. Please, Ren-kun. Don't end it like this."

" _Don't_ —call me that." Renzou's voice shook. The familiar nickname caused an ache in his chest that he didn't know how to deal with. Renzou tried to hold on to his anger, to his disappointment, but instead it was exhaustion that hit him. Yukio's pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Just, quit it already," he murmured. "Nothin' ya say's gonna change my mind. I'm tired of this, okay?" Renzou rubbed a hand through his face. He broke eye contact with Yukio and instead focused his gaze on the ground.

"Just… leave, Yukio. Please."

Yukio stood there, his heart twisting in his chest in such a painful manner that it took all his resistance not to whimper out loud. Ren-kun had been his friend. His only friend. His best friend. And now, through fault of his own, he'd lost him. And it was for good. There was no going back from this. He looked down at the floor because looking at his face where the pink locks were in his field of vision just made everything harder.

"I see." Was he speaking? Yukio felt like he wasn't in total control of his body. "Then I'll just be on my way. I'm sorry to have troubled you." There was a broke sort of monotone that carried his words. He turned to the door and opened it. "Good night," he whispered. Yukio walked out into the hallway and shut the door behind him. For a moment, he didn't know where to go but the autopilot that seemed to have taken over his brain now controlled his legs as he began walking down to the exit.

It's over...?


	38. April 11, 2009

“Okay, what’s wrong?” 

“Huh?” Yukio looked up at his father who had grabbed his shoulder. Rin had already left the dorm, taking breakfast packed up in a couple containers to Ryuuji’s dorm. Yukio, on the other hand, was less energetic. Ever since the previous night, the younger Okumura had been quite silent and docile. He hadn’t even badgered Rin about homework. 

“What are you talking about, Dad?” Yukio’s gaze dropped. 

“Aha! There! That’s what I’m talking about!” Shiro stood in front of Yukio and bent his head down. “Since when have you called me ‘Dad’?” He check his watch. “You’re also six minutes behind schedule! You’re never late!” 

“Then all the more reason I should hurry.” Yukio sidestepped his father and moved to walk past him but Shiro’s hands grabbed his shoulders and swung him back around, causing the teen to stumble against his father’s side. 

“Ah, ah, ah~ I’m writing you a note right now. We’re talking. It’s father-son time.” Shiro steered Yukio down the hall. 

“Father, wait, I can’t skip school if I’m not even sick,” he protested. 

“You’re just going to skip the first period, maybe second. Don’t worry, you’ll have a note.” Shiro texted someone quickly on his phone before tucking it away in his pocket. They walked into Yukio’s room and the door shut behind them. 

“Alright.” Shiro sat Yukio down on the bed, pulled up the desk chair, and sat in front of him. “Spill. What’s going on?” 

Yukio stared at his father, slightly exasperated, but he felt the words bubbling up from his chest and right at his throat that it took more effort to swallow them down than to simply open his mouth and let them out. He closed his mouth and continued looking at the man in front of him, the man he’d come to admire as more than just his father… The man who was so patiently waiting for him to speak. 

He opened his mouth. 

“Last night, I went to go speak to Ren-kun,” Yukio murmured. Shiro immediately sighed knowingly. He continued. “We’ve been… Well, our relationship has been rather rocky as I’ve been… absent. Ren-kun was naturally frustrated and I attempted to mend things between us but he was unreceptive and…” He sighed. “He kicked me out.”

Yukio held his hands tightly together in his own lap. “I don’t blame him. I would be frustrated too if he had done that to me. And I suppose I’ve said sorry so many times that… It doesn’t mean much anymore. He told me not to call him Ren-kun anymore.” His voice suddenly cracked and Yukio took a deep breath, holding back the tears that were bubbling up along with the words. He only had to blink and he felt the sink of the bed beside him and two strong, warm, and familiar arms wrap around him. He was pulled into his father’s chest.

Yukio felt as if he was a child again and he hated it, but he couldn’t help but to curl his fingers into his father’s coat and hold onto him tightly.

“He said it was over,” he whispered. “He said that we should call it quits… and give up. And I want to speak to him, I want to tell him so much but every time I talk to him and he looks at me, my throat just goes dry and I can’t remember what I wanted to say.”

Shiro placed a hand on the back of Yukio’s head and hushed him. The two of them fell silent for a while until he let go and they both sat up straight. Yukio too another deep breath, still managing to hold back the traitorous tears.

“Do you want to give up?” 

“No!” Yukio’s gaze snapped to his father and then wandered down. “I suppose it’s wrong of me to push, and selfish too. But I…” He sighed deeply. “Ren-kun is my only friend, and, at the very least, I don’t want things to end this way.” 

“Hm.” Shiro looked thoughtful. “You caught yourself between a rock and a hard place, Yukio.” 

He nodded and stared at the ground. 

“But…” 

Yukio looked up at his father again.

“I’d say give it one last shot.” Shiro smiled to Yukio. “And make it count. No holding back. No lying. You tell him everything, within reason.” 

Yukio knew what those last two words meant. Everything, but his brother’s and his own heritage. He nodded. He didn’t need that to know but…

“He doesn’t want to speak to me. How will I get him to listen?” Yukio frowned. 

“You don’t.” Shiro stood up and walked to the desk. He opened the drawer, took out a pencil, and placed it in Yukio’s hand. “Write him a letter. Let him read it on his own and when he’s ready, he’ll come to you.” 

“And… if he never does?” Yukio looked at his father worryingly. 

“Then I’ll be here for you and so will your brother.” Shiro gave him a small smile. “Remember. This is your last shot. So,” 

“Make it count.” Yukio looked down at the pencil.

 

* * *

_Dear Renzou,_

_I know I’m the last person you want to hear from right now and perhaps you’re contemplating just throwing this letter away, but if you’ve read this far, I promise you that this will be the last time I reach out to you should you make that decision. If you ~~wish to consider it so~~ want, this could count as a good bye letter._

_I have made so many mistakes. I’ve misjudged you and our relationship. Neglect is only one of the many things ~~I’ve done to wrong you messed up on I’ve committed~~  on my long list of slip-ups, but it’s the only thing I’ve thought to apologize for. You’re probably already tired of hearing this, but I’m sorry. I am so very and completely sorry._

_I did a lot of thinking and I want to try once more. What happened at the fountain a couple weeks ago was, I believe, the last positive encounter that you remember. But it wasn’t for me. On April 3 rd, when I walked up on stage to deliver my speech I found you in the crowd. I spotted you immediately due to your hair. I suppose it’s been ingrained in me after years to seek out pink. Maybe I am a girl, like you said.  ~~(That was a joke, please laugh.)~~_ ~~~~

_When I saw you, I remembered your voice. You told me to take it easy and not to worry so much. I ended up delivering the speech to you instead of to the first years. I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you really gave me courage that day. You give me courage every day._

_For as long as I could remember, I could see demons. My father speculates that perhaps I’d gotten injured as a baby but we’re not sure. All I know is that when parents of children my age told their kids that monsters didn’t exist, that nothing was hiding in the dark, my father couldn’t do the same. Every day, I was terrified. Nearly every day I would see some sort of beast or shadow hiding around the corner and looking at me. I would be so scared I couldn’t move. I grew ashamed at myself. Back then, two things were what kept me sane. My brother and your letters. Ren-kun gave me hope and a future. I had a dream beyond a career when we were children. I felt strong and determined, which, at that time, were new emotions for me. I started training to be an exorcist around the age of seven and through the tough times, you were what kept me going, as my brother didn’t know about the extra lessons I was taking part in._

_You gave me strength and how did I pay you back? By lying to you. I can see why you were frustrated and why you’re so tired now. I regret it. I regret keeping things from you. I thought that it was a necessity back then. I never paused to think that perhaps you already knew about the Order. I never took the time to find out. I was so obsessed with ~~protecting~~ keeping the things between us normal that I never thought to try and trust you like I had done so easily when we were young._

_I want to change that. I want to become what I once was. I want to be your confidant, your companion, but beyond that, your friend. I know that in order to achieve this, I need to work to regain your trust._

_I understand if you wouldn’t want to place yourself at risk again. I understand that this is selfish of me to ask for this opportunity after countless times of me failing to meet your expectations. This is my fault and my fault alone._

~~_I formally request the opportunity to_ _-_ ~~

~~_I hope you reconsider-_ ~~

_Please let me try. The thought of losing your friendship and the knowledge that I already have makes me terrified. You mean more to me than I’ve ever thought to tell you and I know that that was possibly the biggest mistake on my very long list._

_Losing you is not something I wish to add to that._

_Until next time?_

_Yukio_

* * *

 

Renzou looked at the letter in his hand with blurry eyes. His fingers clutched onto the paper tightly. Even though he wasn’t reading anymore, his mind kept going over the words he had read, over and over again. 

He didn’t know how to feel. He’d been in an awful mood since yesterday, since he’d had that confrontation with Yukio in his room. His mood hadn’t improved today at all. He’d been quiet and withdrawn during class, and he’d become even more so after he spotted the letter that had been waiting for him in his shoe box. He recognized the handwriting at the front of the envelope, of course. How could he not? His mood plummeted even more at the sight of it, and not wanting to deal with it at all, Renzou had decided to ignore the letter. He changed his shoes and headed to cram school without pausing to reconsider his actions. 

But the letter had been all he could think of the entire time. It haunted him. Hadn’t Renzou made it clear that he was tired of all of this? Just what else did Yukio have to say? Hadn’t yesterday been enough? 

Renzou spent the rest of the day contemplating what to do with that letter. A part of him had wanted to throw it away, but another part couldn’t help but to be morbidly curious about what it said. In the end, once classes were over for the day, Renzou hadn’t been able to resist any longer. He headed back to the high school alone and picked up the letter before finding a secluded place to read it.

But he hadn’t expected to be affected by the letter in this way at all. 

Renzou didn’t know why this letter impacted him as much as it had. He’d heard these apologies before. Yukio had said sorry to him more times than he could count, to the point that they had become meaningless. But there was something more in here this time. As Renzou looked through the shaky handwriting and the crossed out words, he remembered a different letter. His own letter. Even now, he could remember the words he’d written there, and not for the first time, he wished he hadn’t been a coward all those years ago. If he had just sent that letter back then, things could have been different. They  _would_ have been different. Yukio wasn’t the only one to blame for the way things had turned out. Renzou knew he had his own faults to own up to. 

But now, seeing Yukio write to him again, seeing the honesty behind his words and his fervor to mend things between them, it healed a part of Renzou that had been festering away for years. He swallowed painfully as he pushed away his regrets and clung onto hope instead. He was glad no one was around to see him like this.

Unable to help himself, Renzou read the letter all over again, drinking in each word again, hearing Yukio’s voice in his head as he read it. 

 _I don’t want to lose ya either,_ he thought, finally admitting that to himself. 

Recalling the things he’d said yesterday, Renzou also had to admit that there was one thing he’d been right on. After everything that had happened, one thing was very clear: They were different people now… but, that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends. 

With that thought in mind, Renzou carefully folded the letter back and put into his satchel. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and went down his contact list until he reached the name he’d never thought he’d have to call. 

When the line picked up, Renzou licked his lips nervously, and he said, “Hey. That café you mentioned yesterday… are ya still up for meeting me there?” 

Hearing’s Yukio’s voice didn’t cause him the turmoil he’d felt before, and at his affirmative answer, something inside Renzou loosened. A careful though genuine smile crossed his lips. 

“Alright then. I’ll meet ya there… Yuki-chan.”


	39. May 5, 2009

"Take my damn money already!"

"But, Father, you don't need to—"

"No buts!"

This was a repeat conversation now as Shiro shoved a small collection of bills into Yukio's hand, forcing his younger son to take it. Yukio had made the argument that he had money from his salary as an exorcist, but Shiro refused to listen.

"It's Children's Day for god's sake!" Shiro huffed exasperatingly. "Look, your brother already took my money." He gestured off to where Rin was happily chatting with Ryuuji and Konekomaru at the entrance to Mepphy Land. "Take my money, go be a kid, and use up all of it. Renzou-kun!" He turned to the pink-haired teen standing beside his son. "Make sure you two use up every single yen in my son's hand. If there is a single coin left over, I'll kick both your asses halfway to the moon. Got it?!" He stuffed his hand in his pocket and counted out a couple more bills. "Here, you take some too." Shiro placed the money in Renzou's hand.

Renzou was both bewildered and amused at the situation he found himself in. Knowing better than to do otherwise, he accepted the money with nothing more than a slight grin. "Heh, don't worry, sensei. I'll make sure Yuki-chan has fun today," he said, glancing at Yukio. His grin widened at the sight of his friend's flustered expression. "There won't be a single coin left of this, promise!"

"That's the spirit!" Shiro grinned and started waving his hand. "Now go on, shoo. Go be kids and have fun."

Yukio turned and looked at the money in his hand in a rather lost sort of way and tucked it into his pocket. "It's too much," he murmured when they were out of earshot of his father.

Renzou rolled his eyes and nudged Yukio's side with his elbow. "Oh, come on. Just accept it. You've been spendin' too much money on me lately anyway."

It was true. These days, they spent a lot of time going out, hanging out at cafes and the like instead of at their dorms. It was partly because it gave Yukio less chance to bug Renzou about doing homework, and partly because it had become a routine. In those first few weeks when they were still patching their friendship up, they found it too awkward to hang out together without the adding scenery which provided them something to talk about. Because of that, they'd taken up the habit of going out to explore the school grounds. They took a particular liking to visiting the café they had made up in as well. Sentimental reasons aside, the food there was great. Of course, Renzou had offered to pay his equal share at first, but Yukio had eventually convinced him to save his money.

"I have a job. It's fine," Yukio had insisted, and Renzou had let it go, not wanting to argue about it.

Now, it was Renzou's turn to do the insisting.

"So, what do ya wanna do first?" he asked as they walked over to where the rest of their friends were.

"Finally!" Rin grinned when they approached. "Let's go to the rides! Or we can eat food! Or we can play games and win some stuff!"

"The games should wait until we're done with the rides, Nii-san. We wouldn't want to be carrying our prizes onto the rides and such," Yukio said as he stood at Renzou's side.

"Ah! True!" Rin nodded. "Then we'll go to the rides first!"

There were a lot of rides to try out. Mepphy Land was huge. They picked up a map at the entrance to check out what rides there were, and as they walked, they decided what path they wanted to take. There were food stalls everywhere, but like Yukio suggested, they decided to leave that for later. The lines to the rides were already starting to get long.

At Rin's insistence, they got into the carousel first. Konekomaru suggested they try the spinning teacups next. They all took turns suggesting which rides to go to. Renzou made sure to stick by Yukio the entire time, reveling in the fact that he could do so. After all these years, it really was nice to be here, standing right next to his closest friend. The atmosphere of the place made him giddy, and he knew Yukio was feeling it too. Renzou glanced at him, wanting to catch sight of his smile again; that's when he spotted him glancing over towards the Horror House a few feet away.

"Ya wanna go there?"

Yukio blinked and turned to look at his friend. He immediately flushed lightly upon being caught and pushed up his glasses. "Well, yes but…"

"Yeesh! That looks scary! Let's skip that one!" Rin wrinkled his nose at the Horror House.

Yukio held out his hand as if the words of his older brother had just proved his point.

Renzou gave Yukio sympathetic look. Then, he turned to address the others.

"How about we split up for a bit? You guys can get food or somethin' while we check this place out for a while."

"Sounds good," Suguro said. "We won't wander off too far, so take your time."

"Ah, are you sure that's wise?" Yukio suddenly seemed a bit fidgety. "This place is rather large."

"Don't worry so much, Yukio." Rin grinned. "Go with Renzou and have fun already. We'll be around and we've got phones!"

"I suppose you're right. Still, don't go too far." Yukio adjusted his glasses and looked towards Renzou. "Alright, let's get going then, Ren-kun." He smiled.

Renzou smiled back, and after waving at the others, he turned in the direction of the Horror House with Yukio in tow.

"So I hear this place is actually really scary. The principal's apparently got a pretty wicked sense of humor," he said as he placed his hands behind his head. "Think you'll be able to stomach this place, Yuki-chan?" he asked the other teasingly, glancing at him from the corner of his eye.

"I think so." Yukio smiled at the other's teasing. "To be honest, I'm more worried about you. Are you sure you want to join me?"

"I think it's a little too late for either of us to back out," Renzou said as they stepped inside the dark building. "Anyway, I ain't that easy to scare," he boasted. And as he took a look around the room, his confidence only continued to rise.

The entrance of the place was nothing out of the ordinary. There was eerie music playing quietly in the background accompanied by the typical noises often heard in B-grade horror movies. Bright, fake blood had been painted across the walls, though it was only faintly visible over the thin screen of smoke that lingered in the air. The overall effect made Renzou question the rumors he had heard of this place.

Yukio looked around, overall disappointed by the experience. Of course, for an amusement park on an academy campus, he shouldn't have expected much. Still, he kept a watchful eye out for there was something he was expecting that Renzou already overlooked.

The moment he turned the corner, he spotted it. Yukio quickly pressed a hand over Renzou's eyes. "Please keep your eyes closed, Ren-kun," he said softly as he looked down the long hallway where spiders hung from the web-covered ceiling.

Renzou pulled a face and tugged Yukio's hand off.

"Dude, I told ya I ain't that easy to scare—eep!" Renzou let out an unmanly squeak as he caught sight of the spiders in front of them. His eyes closed shut immediately and he began to cling onto Yukio's arm tightly.

"Except when there's bugs," he continued in a small, tight voice.

"I told you." Yukio sighed, but it was with a smile that he led Renzou through the hallway. He knocked low-hanging spiders out of the way so they wouldn't brush against the pink-haired teen. He sighed again as the bugs were so obviously plastic but he didn't berate his friend for being scared. Once they turned the corner and the spiders were behind them, Yukio tapped Renzou's shoulder.

"No more spiders," he said as he faced the dark, empty hallway. There were obvious black curtains from behind which something was assuredly going to pop out at them. This "Horror House" was turning into quite the disappointment.

"Thanks." Renzou let himself relax and he peered around with an expression so grateful it was almost comical. "I should've expected that," he admitted with an embarrassed chuckle.

Now that his heart had settled down a little more, the pink-haired teen glanced forward and he came to the same conclusion that Yukio had come to. The light at the end of the hallway was beckoning them forward in an overly-taunting manner. Renzou shot Yukio a grin, nudging him.

"Well, let's get this over with then," he said.

"Yeah..." Yukio sighed tiredly. "I thought this would be a better experience." Yukio and Renzou moved forward, barely jumping at the cartoonish and horribly drawn cardboard cutouts that popped out at them. In fact, Yukio walked past the last one without breaking stride. They left through the exit, the bustle of the other patrons reaching their ears again. "Well that was a waste of time," he muttered, looking at his friend. "At least you got a scare out of it, Ren-kun."

"Hey!" Renzou protested. "Pickin' on me about this is off limits! I can't help my reactions," he said with a disgruntled expression. Yukio chuckled out an apology. They followed the crowd that was ahead of them at a mild pace. Behind them, the exit curtain fell close. Renzou glanced up at Yukio, and he couldn't help but to wonder then:

"What're ya afraid of these days, anyway? There must be somethin' you're still scared of, right?"

When they were kids, Yukio had been afraid of a lot of things. Renzou remembered the other writing to him about them before things got complicated. He clearly didn't seem to have a problem being in the dark anymore, and Renzou doubted Yukio was still afraid of monsters considering his rank as an exorcist.

In retrospect, it was pretty funny to see Yukio so into horror stuff. The other had really changed over these past few years.

"Not much." Yukio looked back at Renzou. "Besides something happening to you or my family, anything else is a manageable situation." He glanced away with a soft flush at the admittance.

Renzou grinned slightly at the other's words. "You're such a worrywart," he teased, glad at least some things were still the same.

"So, where do ya wanna go next?" he asked as he glanced around. "Think I'm gettin' a little hungry, how about y—"

But before Renzou could finish speaking, the ground suddenly began to shake. "Whoa!" Renzou immediately grabbed onto Yukio's arm as the floor beneath them continued to tremble. The people around them similarly tried to hold on to something stable. A loud, confused clamor broke out as people tried to take in the situation.

"Shit," Renzou muttered. Were they in the middle of an earthquake?

Renzou's grip on Yukio tightened as the rest of the crowd began to panic. The lights above them began to flicker in tune with the tremors.

_Wait… lights?_

Renzou looked up and noticed the sky above them was actually a ceiling.  _What the…?_

Yukio's hand was already shooting towards his waist as the rumble beneath their feet felt nothing like an earthquake. But his fingers didn't curl around the handle of his pistol and instead bumped against his bare belt. He stared down at his jeans, remembering his father telling him there was no need for weapons at an amusement park.

The ground beneath them started to splinter and crack. Yukio gripped onto Renzou, pulling him away from the fissure rapidly spreading on the ground. People screamed and ran as chunks of the floor fell, taking ten to twenty people down into an abyss. The smell of burnt flesh suddenly filled the air as the floor continued to fall away.

" _Holy shit._ "

Renzou wasn't able to process through what was happening. His heart stammered in panic as fire rose from the crack in the ground right by their feet. The two of them stumbled back, the flash of heat that followed uncomfortably close.

A pair of demonic eyes looked down at them menacingly.

"What the hell?!" Renzou yelped.

"What's going—" Suddenly the floor beneath them gave a buckle and sunk about an inch. Yukio gripped tighter to Renzou, looking down to find that the floor around them was cracked and shuddering. The border was too far to jump. "Run, run!" He shoved Renzou towards the edge, his heart beating wildly.

"Run where?!"

There was no stable ground left around them. Renzou stumbled forward but latched onto Yukio's wrist with a viselike grip as he did so.  _I ain't leavin' ya behind!_ The thought surged forward as strongly as the fear that struck him when the lights finally gave out completely.

"Fuck!"

The room was still slightly illuminated by the slight pits of fire coming from the ground. There was muted hiss among the screams which grew louder by the second, reminding the teens of the fire demon that was right behind them. They turned around just in time to see it lunge towards them.

There was a loud roar that made Yukio's ears ring. He threw himself over Renzou without a second thought, but no fire consumed them. Instead, the lights blinked back on and a soft rain of confetti fell around them.

"Wh… What…?" Yukio looked up from where he'd practically shoved Renzou to the ground and, hanging above an innocent exit in a blank room, was a sign framed in a bright and obnoxious purple, a shade that Yukio knew all too well.

 _"Congratulations on making it through the Horror House! _☆__ _"_  The sign boasted happily as fanfare played in the background.

"Are… ya… serious?"

The moment his brain processed that the danger was over, Renzou craned his head back. The sight of the outlandish sign made him gape incredulously.

"That was all just… a trick?!"

That had felt entirely too realistic to be a trick, but there was no way to deny that it had been anything other than that. The room they were in was empty save for Yukio and himself. All the damage that they had seen before had completely vanished without a trace.

"Geez, people weren't freakin' kidding about this place…" The tension in Renzou's body collapsed as his head softly hit the ground again. Renzou looked up at Yukio's pale face and he let out an airy, breathless laugh. "Holy crap, we're alive."

"It… seems so." Yukio blinked and looked down at Renzou, finding his smile contagious. "I suppose we were wrong to assume." He pulled himself up off of the pink-haired teen and held out a hand to help him up. "I hope I didn't hurt you. I thought we were in danger so I wasn't exactly gentle." He smiled good-naturedly.

Renzou took his hand and let himself be pulled up. "I'm fine," he assured him, returning his smile. "Don't worry about it. Now let's get out of here before something else decides to jump us."

"Agreed." Yukio tugged Renzou hurriedly to the exit and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the crowd and the sounds of the amusement park. "It seems like everything's normal now."

"Yeah…" Renzou still looked around suspiciously, not willing to fall for the same trick again. The sky above them looked legit this time, and unlike before, he was actually able to take in the smells coming from the food stands this time around. It caused his stomach to growl lightly, reminding him that despite all the excitement he had suffered through, he was still hungry.

Yukio, however, was searching the crowd. He furrowed his brow. "I can't see Nii-san and the others." He slipped his hand out of Renzou's and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Maybe I should give him a call."

Without thinking, Renzou put a hand over Yukio's own, covering his cell phone.

"How about we get some food first? I'm sure we'll run into them soon. I'll send Koneko-san a text if we can't spot them."

Yukio blinked and he looked at Renzou. "Alright…" His tone seemed dubious but he tucked his phone back into his pocket. "What should we eat, then?" he asked as he pushed up his glasses and looked towards the food stands. "It seems like we have a lot of options."

Renzou grinned at Yukio's words, feeling a small victory warm his chest. "Heh, well, you heard your old man. If we don't go all out, he'll kick our asses, so c'mon!"

Yukio's pocket suddenly felt heavier with the amount of money he was obligated to spend. "Right." He sighed but smiled and followed after Renzou. He forgot about his brother for a few minutes as they perused the food stands.

"I've never been to an amusement park," he admitted, scanning the various food items available for purchase. "I don't really know what to get. But it all seems… expensive, doesn't it?" Yukio squinted at the price tag for the cotton candy.

Renzou followed his gaze, letting out an exasperated sigh at the protest. "We've got more than enough to get whatever we want," he reminded him. Then, knowing Yukio was going to drag this out if he did otherwise, he took out the money he'd gotten earlier out of his pocket and asked the vendor for a stick of cotton candy.

It  _was_  expensive, but it was also big enough to share. After stuffing the change back in his pocket, Renzou all but thrust the pink treat into Yukio's face.

"Here."

Yukio took the sudden treat in his hands. He opened his mouth to say something but the smell of the sugar at his face made him swallow instead. No use protesting since it was already bought. He pulled off a small pink tuft and placed it in his mouth. It immediately melted and the sweet taste made him perk up a bit.

"Ah." Yukio blinked several times. "It's sweeter than I anticipated… Also sticky." He sucked on the finger that was now covered in pink sugar and held out the pink sugar cloud towards Renzou.

"Good though, right?" Renzou grinned and then took a small piece himself, plopping it in his mouth. He let out a pleased, approving hum at the taste. It was better than any other cotton candy he'd tried before.

"Mhmm." Yukio took another bite. "Though get this near my brother and he's bound to be bouncing off the walls in seconds." His eyes wandered to the crowd around them as he placed another tuft in his mouth.

"Yeah, he seems like the type…" Renzou followed his gaze, well-aware of what—or rather, who—he was looking for.

"Oh, look! They're sellin' candy apples too!"

He managed to distract Yukio with food for a while longer, but eventually, it became apparent that Yukio's thoughts were elsewhere. Renzou gave in and took out his phone to give Yukio some peace of mind.

_[Hey, where are ya guys?]_

Thankfully, Konekomaru got back to him quickly.

_[We just got out of a ride. Want to meet up?]_

Renzou glanced at Yukio. The sight of his wrinkled brow and the frown on his lips exasperated the pink-haired teen. He turned back to his phone with a newfound determination.

_[Not yet. We're about to head into one too. Let's meet up in 30 near the roller coaster.]_

"They said they're in another ride and that they'll meet us later," Renzou said as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. "How about we finish this up and go check a few more out?" he suggested with a smile.

Yukio sighed but he was put at ease knowing that his brother was, at least, still out of trouble. "Alright. What should we do?" He looked around, not through the crowd this time, but at the stands.

A loud sound attracted his attention and he whipped his head around, focusing on a stand in front of which a couple people were aiming rifles. The complete amateur way they were holding them clued him in to the fact that it was probably a game.

"Hey, I think we found just what." Renzou took the last bite out of the cotton candy and licked the remaining sugar off of his lips. "Up to a little competition?"

Yukio smirked slightly. "Are you sure about that, Ren-kun?" he asked as he tossed the garbage away and licked his fingers clean.

"Heh, don't look so cocky. I may not be an expert, but it ain't my first time playing these kinds of games," Renzou said.

The pink-haired teen was eating his words a few minutes later as Yukio aimed down the sight of his rifle and shot his fourth target. He looked at Renzou and smiled with faux innocence.

"Having a little trouble, Ren-kun?" he asked sweetly.

Renzou's eyes narrowed. He aimed carefully at the moving targets in front of them, but when his next shot narrowly missed again, he let out a groan of defeat.

"Alright, alright…" Renzou put his gun down and watched the other complete the course flawlessly. He was reluctantly impressed. "You win."

Yukio put down the rifle and laughed slightly. "Sorry. I'll go easy on you next time."

"Hey," Renzou complained.

"What prize would you like?"

Yukio blinked and turned to the man behind the counter. "Huh?"

"You got a perfect score, man!" The worker grinned. "You can pick any prize you like!" He gestured up where several stuffed animals and toys hung from racks.

"Oh, right." Yukio had forgotten about that fact but found himself disinterested in pretty much all of them. That is, until his gaze focused on a standard brown teddy bear with a large pink bow around its neck. He pointed at it immediately and the man took it down for him.

"Here, Ren-kun." Yukio held out the bear to him. "Since you tried so hard."

Renzou stared down at the bear in Yukio's arms. The bear stared back at him with its black beady eyes.

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm," he noted dryly, trying to seem nonchalant as he accepted the item. He fingered the pink bow on the bear briefly before tucking the stuffed animal beneath his arm. "But thanks," he continued with a slight grin.

"I wasn't sarcastic." Yukio crossed his arms. "I meant it. I only won because I have training." He paused for a moment. "And because you don't know how to aim."

"I do too!" Renzou's protest was accompanied by an affronted scowl. "That game was totally rigged!" he complained.

"Well, yes, the rifle was clearly of low make but I managed it." Yukio nodded and smiled.

Renzou's eyes narrowed. "Watch it. You won this one, but I'll get ya at the next one," he warned.

With that said, Renzou began to drag Yukio around, challenging him to more games. They burned through the rest of the money that Shiro had given them and lost track of time trying to one up each other. For the most part, Yukio won, but Renzou's victory was the sight of the other's smile which remained on his face the entire time. It was a rare expression; or at least, under regular conditions, it was. When they were in class, or hanging around with the rest of the group, Yukio tended to act more serious. His smiles in those times were worn more than felt. But in times when they were alone together, like they were now, Yukio tended to smile much more genuinely.

He liked that.

Renzou wanted to keep that smile on the other's face for as long as he could. It was because of this that when he spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd, he once again acted without thinking.

"Hey, look! Let's go on this one next!"

Renzou latched onto Yukio's wrist and dragged him through the crowd in the opposite direction from the others, hoping none of them would notice. The nearest ride around them was the Ferris wheel, but Renzou didn't care. He was only thankful for the fact that it had a short line.

"Ah, slow down!" Yukio stumbled after him, slightly shocked at the sudden tug. Had Renzou really been so excited for the Ferris wheel? Regardless, he went along with it. Yukio was in too much of a good mood to really care.

As they waited in the short line, Yukio checked his phone with his free hand and furrowing his brow at the lack of messages. "Have the others texted you at all?" he asked, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "Maybe after this we should meet up with them again."

Renzou shifted on his feet. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced at Yukio out of the corner of his eyes.

"We're supposed to meet up with them soon," he confessed. "I told them to wait for us at the roller coaster. Hope ya don't mind me dragging ya here first. I... It's a bit lame, but I thought ya might like the view."

The guilty stance that Renzou adopted made Yukio cross his arms, but he didn't frown. His brother was fine, surely... There hadn't been any explosions or urgent calls so...

"Well, it's not like I've had a bad time." He nudged his shoulder against Renzou's, the warmth in his chest aiding in his relaxation. He definitely felt content. "After this we won't have much choice but to meet up with them anyway. We've run out of money."

They got to the front of the line and the two of them sat in the enclosed cart. The door shut behind them and Yukio shifted closer to the window as they began to rise.

"Have you ever been on a Ferris wheel before?" he asked, looking at the teen sitting across from him.

"Ah, yeah, just once. With a girl," Renzou added with a slight grin as he set the teddy bear he'd received right next to him. He turned his gaze to the window outside, taking in the view as they continued to rise. "It's one of the best places to take someone, ya know. Sitting close together, alone, looking at the view outside. If the mood's right, ya can reach for her hand, and maybe lean in to kiss her too. It's the perfect date spot!" he declared.

Then, he glanced back at Yukio, and with a sly expression, he said, "Speaking of which, ain't it about time ya got a girlfriend, Yuki-chan?"

"Not this again." Yukio flushed dark red. "I don't have time for girls, Ren-kun. Not now. Things are busy enough as it is. And besides, you already know what a disaster the last one was." He sighed.

"Sure, last time ended like that 'cause you had no time. And 'cause you were keepin' secrets," Renzou reminded him pointedly. "But things are different now. I know you're still busy, but you don't have as much on your plate as ya did before. So, c'mon! What's really holdin' ya back?"

"I'm not really interested, that's all." Yukio pushed up his glasses and smiled. "Besides, if I were to get a girlfriend now, I'd have less time for you."

That... hadn't really crossed Renzou's mind. The fact that it had crossed Yukio's made Renzou's cheeks color slightly.

"Ya make it sound like we're datin'," he said with a quiet chuckle, trying not to sound as pleased as he felt. Then, realizing what he had said, he quickly backtracked.

"A-Ah, but I can't be around all the time either! And what about Moriyama-san? You two seem close."

Yukio's cheeks were red, however, and he was unable to gather the words to answer the question. Luckily, he didn't need to as the Ferris wheel stopped. The cart rocked at the sudden halt and Yukio grabbed the edge of the seat tightly.

"That was a bit too rough to be normal don't you think...?" Yukio leaned against the glass, doing his best to look down and figure out if anything had happened. "I hope we aren't stuck."

Renzou scooted over to the edge of his seat as well and peered down. They were too high up to get a good view of what was happening below, but Renzou thought he could spot some employees crowding around the ride's entrance, where he presumed the controls of the ride were.

"Uh, I think we are," he said, frowning. A quick glance around the rest of the park showed them that they weren't the only ones stuck in their rides. It seemed like there was a power outage in the park.

Sure enough, all the lights on the rides around them were blinking out. Music was halted and several people on the ground seemed to be looking around in confusion while the staff bustled to try and figure out the problem.

"That's strange…" Yukio's eyebrows furrowed. It could be a simple power outage or… He sat back in his chair and rubbed his forehead. He was worrying too much again, right? "I hope we get down soon."

"Seriously…" Renzou felt uncomfortable at the idea of being stuck here for long. He wasn't afraid of heights per se, but they were awfully high up from the ground. Plus, there was the fact that Yukio was beginning to look discomforted…

 _Worryin' about his brother as usual, I bet,_ he thought, more than a little exasperated. Still, he had to admit he was a little worried for the rest of his friends as well. He wondered if they had gotten tired of waiting for them and had gotten in the rollercoaster before the blackout.

"Guess I'll text Koneko-san and tell them we're gonna be late…" he murmured.

"Yes, that might be the best idea," Yukio agreed. He looked out the window again and suddenly there was a deep rumble that seemed to rattle the very car they were sitting in. Yukio got chills as his eyes passed over the rollercoaster. "Ren-kun…" He leaned forward in his chair, his eyebrows furrowing. Small flashes of electricity were sparking on the railing of the ride. "There's something going on at the rollercoaster."

No sooner than the words had left his mouth, the control panel exploded with a large arc of electricity. Even from this distance, they could see people being thrown back from the force.

"Holy shit!"

Renzou cursed. His heart skipped a beat and he nearly dropped his phone as he watched the commotion outside. For a second, he couldn't help but to wonder if they were still stuck in the Horror House.

"What the hell is happening out there?!"

Outside, the arcs of electricity flickered and grew as the pink, metal car of the rollercoaster began to pry itself off from the railings. Renzou gaped and tried to process what was going on. "Is that… a demon…?"

And just a few feet in front of the possessed ride, Renzou finally spotted a set of familiar figures. That unique cockscomb was unmistakable among the crowd.

"Oh no…" he whispered, dread sinking into his stomach.

"Nii-san!" Yukio stood, pressing his hands against the glass as he spotted his brother amongst the scattering crowd. The car rocked with the shift in weight and Yukio was forced back into his seat. He quickly pulled out his phone, and pressed the speed dial for his father. The first tone was busy. Yukio grit his teeth. "No, no, no…" He hung up and dialed again. This time, it rang.

_"Yukio!"_

"Father! There's a demon at the amusement park!" Yukio gripped the edge of his seat. "Nii-san… He's right there!"

 _"I know. I'm already on my way. Can you get to Rin?"_  Shiro's voice was calm and collected. Yukio wished he could have his father's restraint and fortitude.

"No, Ren-kun and I are stuck. The power went out in the amusement park and we were in the Ferris wheel," Yukio explained and flinched as the demon pried itself off the railings on long, jagged metal spikes. "You've got to hurry!"

_"I'm on my way. You stay calm and I'll be there as soon as I can."_

The call ended and Yukio let the phone fall in his lap. He stared helplessly at the chaos unfold beneath them.

Renzou felt overcome with helplessness as well. His hand tightened on his phone. A part of him regretted having taking this detour.

_But if I hadn't, we would be down there too, running away from that thing._

Renzou bit his lip, hating himself for feeling so relieved to be away from the danger. A bout of self-loathing rose within him even more as he watched Konekomaru narrowly avoid a blow from the demon.

 _It ain't like Yuki-chan has his guns,_ Renzou found himself thinking, looking for an excuse that would justify his fear. The weight of the staff inside his jacket grew impossibly heavy.

"Dammit!" Yukio pounded his fist against the glass, making Renzou glance over at him sharply. Yukio's knuckles were white as he watched his brother and Suguro run while the demon gave chase. They lost sight of them but were able to clearly see the demon which towered over the stands that blocked their sight of the people. His fist trembled.

"Yuki-chan…"

Renzou found his chest clenching. He rose to his feet carefully, not wanting to jolt the cart any more than was necessary. He didn't know what he was doing.

"Hey…"

Renzou placed his hand on Yukio's shoulder and squeezed it, trying to find comfort in the action himself. "It's gonna be okay. Your dad's on his way, right?"

The touch made Yukio's fist falter and he brought it away from the glass in order to grip Renzou's hand. It was an anchor that settled his mind and yet each shriek from the demon that was still in clear view caused his mind to rattle and his grip to tighten. His teeth clenched together and he scratched at his own thigh with his free hand.

He finally nodded tightly as a response to his friend's words. His father was their only hope now. They were useless here. He was useless. He was absolutely worthless.

"Shit…" The curse was weaker and the shoulder under Renzou's fingers trembled gently.

Time passed by slowly for the two of them as the commotion outside continued. Renzou didn't let go of Yukio as he sat down next to him nor did he avert his eyes away from the scene. He listened attentively to the distant chirp of lightning and the shouts of the people down below. Eventually, they caught sight of Rin and Suguro again, and when he spotted a couple of other exorcists on the scene as well, Renzou let out a breath of relief.

"C'mon, c'mon," he muttered under his breath as he watched his friends gain some distance between them and the demon. He winced slightly as the demon batted away the exorcists who were trying to stop it with ease before continuing to give chase. "Why the hell is it targettin' them?" he wondered out loud.

Yukio furrowed his brow. His lips were pressed into a thin line. His jaw was set. Everything about Yukio was tense. He followed the fight from above with his eyes, keeping his gaze on where Rin should show up next. But Renzou had made a good point. Why was the demon chasing two random humans with such fervor? Was it because of his brother? It couldn't be. He couldn't see a single blue spark.

"I'm not sure. There should be Arias down there. The demons usually target the ones who are... Chanting." Yukio's eyes widened. "He couldn't be..."

Renzou let out a groan as he caught on to Yukio's trail of thought. "Of course he would. Dammit, Bon!" His grip on Yukio tightened. The pink-haired teen leaned closer to the window, trying to get a better view of what was going on. He still couldn't spot Konekomaru anywhere… Looking back at Suguro and Rin made Renzou's heart drop down to his stomach.

"No…!" he whispered as he watched the demon lunge for his childhood friend. Blood splattered as Suguro's shoulder was pierced by the demon's leg.

 _No, not like this…!_ he thought.

Yukio strengthened his grip on Renzou's hand again as they watched the two of them. His teeth grinded as he saw his brother jump in the middle.

"Those two deserve each other," he growled scathingly. Another movement caught his eye and immediately he relaxed. Kuro was jumping along the roofs of the stands but he wasn't in his cat sith form. Yukio only recognized him through two previous times when he'd transformed into the human form he was in now. "My father is close by." He brought Renzou's hand off his shoulder and held it at his side instead. He still felt far from relieved but knowing that his father was soon to arrive reassured him that the situation was under control.

Renzou didn't feel nearly as reassured. He still couldn't get the image of Suguro's blood flying through the air out of his head. If Rin hadn't pushed him off…

 _Ya almost died, ya freakin' moron…_ he thought worriedly, feeling angry at Bon. Though he'd been surprised by Yukio's outburst, Renzou completely shared his sentiment.

"Do ya think—?" he began worriedly, intending to ask Yukio if he thought Bon was going to be okay, but a familiar ringtone interrupted their quiet vigil. The pink-haired teen paused in confusion—he was so caught up in the moment that a part of him didn't register the meaning of the noise—then, he rushed to answer his phone.

"K-Koneko-san!" Renzou shouted into the phone as soon as he noticed who was calling.

 _"Shima-san!"_ Konekomaru sounded fine. He was breathing a little heavily, but Renzou detected no pain in his voice.  _"A-Are you okay?"_

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Yuki-chan. We got stuck at the Ferris wheel," he said, overwhelmed with relief. At least one of them was safe.

_"I see… That's… good. Really good, actually. Are you able to see everything from up there?"_

"Yeah. Where're ya?"

_"Forget about me, can you see Bon and Rin-kun? The demon's—"_

"Chasing after them, I know. But it's okay! They're…" Renzou looked out the window and saw Suguro collapsing to his knees. Renzou squeezed Yukio's hand tight. "They're getting help, and Sensei's—"

A loud gunshot echoed throughout the amusement park. Shiro dodged through the scattering crowd, his pace even and never stuttering.

"Sensei's here!" he cried out loudly.

Renzou heard Konekomaru let out a relieved mutter on the other side of the line, but the words were muted, distant. He was too focused on the scene before them to pay the phone any more attention.

Yukio gripped tighter to Renzou's hand. Shiro hopped and, with Kuro's strong boost, he made it to the top of the metal beast. Another loud blast came from the shotgun in Shiro's hand and they both watched as the demon was taken down and exorcised in barely a minute.

A surge of pride and admiration filled Yukio's chest and his shoulders finally relaxed.

" _I see them!"_ Konekomaru was still talking into the phone. " _I'll... I'm going to check up on them. I'll call you back, okay?"_

"Yeah... See ya..." Renzou absentmindedly hung up the phone. Yukio's dad was rushing to tend to Bon, who appeared to have lost consciousness. Something inside Renzou began to falter at the sight. He closed his eyes and slumped back in his seat tiredly, leaning his head against the wall of the car.

"They're okay..." he whispered to himself. "Holy shit, what the hell was all that about? How did that thing get here?"

"I'm not sure." Yukio looked at Renzou, his hand still grasping at his friend's. He, too, leaned back in the seat, comforted by the fact that his father had the situation under control. "The campus has barriers that should have prevented such a strong demon from entering. I'm sure an investigation will be conducted." But while he seemed to calm down at that fact, Renzou didn't. He was aware why. Bon had been hurt by that demon, almost killed.

"Are you alright?" His voice was soft as he asked.

Renzou opened his eyes and glanced at Yukio. He mustered up a faint smile. "I'm alive, ain't I?" His expression turned into a grimace. "Sorry. I'm okay," he muttered, sighing.

"You don't look okay," Yukio said immediately. He then averted his eyes and frowned. "Sorry, I shouldn't pry." He sighed and glanced out of the window again. "We all went through quite the ordeal... Not exactly the kind of day I was planning." He turned to Renzou and mustered up a small smile.

Renzou let out a weak chuckle. "Hah, tell me about it." Yukio's attempt at comfort was something Renzou appreciated. He felt himself relax a little bit more, and he smiled at Yukio, the gesture small and tired but no less grateful.

A small feeling of relief loosened Yukio's chest when he heard the soft chuckle. He knew that Renzou wouldn't be totally relaxed and neither would he for that matter, but he was glad at least that he was able to coax a small smile out of his friend.

The two stayed silent after that, hands gently grasping between them. It didn't last for too long though.

The car gave a soft and faint vibration as power was routed back into the Ferris wheel. Slowly, the ride began to turn and people were slowly let off one by one. Yukio's eyes wandered back out the window towards the wreckage left by the demon, and he knew that beside him, Renzou was looking at the same view. But the lower they got, the more obscured their vision was until, finally, they couldn't see it at all. Yukio changed his gaze then to his friend. He found Renzou staring back at him.

The pink-haired teen smiled slightly as their eyes met.

"Hey, Yuki-chan?"

"What is it, Ren-kun?" Yukio gave him a faint smile in return.

The sight of that smile was more reassuring than the other would ever understand. That in itself was enough to answer the question on Renzou's mind. Still, he said the words out loud, wanting to hear the other say it himself.

"There was kinda of a shitty end to it all," he began, "but aside from that, you had fun, right?"

Yukio blinked at the question. He'd nearly forgotten, what with the demon attack, what had happened before they entered the Ferris wheel. How they had spent the day tasting food and playing games, how the two of them had survived through an ordeal of their own, however fake it was, and how Yukio had surely smiled more today than any day he remembered.

"… Pft…" Yukio put his free hand over his mouth and turned his head away to shield the peal of giggles that wormed their way out of his lips.

"W-What?" Renzou stared at the other wide-eyed, not having expected that response. He felt his cheeks heat up as he listened to Yukio laugh in a way he never had before. "T-That wasn't supposed to be funny, ya know…"

"N-No, it's not that!" Yukio turned to him with a laugh. "It's just… Well, I was thinking that we should come back another time. I really did have fun here with you. But maybe we could just skip the Ferris wheel." He smiled.

The heat on Renzou's face grew and his stomach fluttered faintly, in a way he didn't recognize. Still, he found himself grinning widely, and when the car finally came to a stop, Renzou was already nodding enthusiastically.

"Heh, yeah. Sounds like a plan." Renzou squeezed Yukio's hand for a second, the motion unconscious this time. "I'm glad ya had fun, Yuki-chan. Let's do it again sometime!"

"Yes, hopefully we'll have a more peaceful ending to the day." Yukio smiled.

The door was opened for them and the noise of settling panic and frazzled confusion came within earshot. Yukio felt the weight of the situation hang heavy in his chest and he squeezed Renzou's hand once more before exited the car first, his hand finally slipping from his grip.

Renzou felt a similar weight settle inside of him, but as he watched Yukio exit in front of him, he found that the small smile that had settled on his lips refused to fade.

He left the Ferris wheel, following after Yukio, his palm warm, and the teddy bear Yuki-chan had given him tucked beneath his arm.


	40. May 7, 2009

Yukio sighed as he walked down the stairs, holding onto the strap of his bag. Ryuuji's words were still ringing in his mind.

_"I saw no other choice."_

_"Ya don't gotta tell me that. I know."_

_"I'm worried about him too, Yukio. So don't worry. This won't happen again. I ain't letting Rin die, not on my watch."_

The younger Okumura sighed again. This one was heavier and much longer. The world seemed to weigh down on his shoulders as he thought about it all. About how his brother had been moments from revealing himself in the middle of a crowded park and about how if his father had been five seconds too late…

Yukio didn't want to think about it anymore. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, his glasses slipping down to the tip and almost falling completely off. But a sudden voice broke his thoughts and a little jump caused the glasses to fall and hang off his ears, bumping into his chin.

"Yukio, what're you doing here?"

The teen quickly pulled his glasses back onto his nose and blinked as he found the sight of his brother.

"Ah, Nii-san. I figured you were on your way." Yukio's lips lifted into a smile before his eyes found that familiar head of pink hair just a few paces behind.

"Yuki-chan!" Renzou glanced up from his phone. His eyes lit up as he met Yukio's gaze and a small smile spread across his lips. "Wasn't expectin' to see ya here!" he said as he quickly slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"Did you come to check up on Bon?" Konekomaru asked, as always, quick on the uptake. He gave Yukio a grateful smile. "How's he doing?"

Yukio gave Renzou a warm smile before he spared Konekomaru a glance. "Yes. I just changed his bandages. He's doing well." The smile aimed at the shortest teen was sweet and professional in comparison; his usual.

Rin grinned brightly. "That's good! Alright, I'm heading up!" He bounded up the steps. "Come on, guys!"

Konekomaru followed right after Rin. Renzou, however, stayed behind.

"You guys go on ahead," he said, smiling. His gaze remained on Yukio. "I'll catch up later."

"Gotcha," Konekomaru called over his shoulder, sparing him a brief glance before disappearing up the stairs.

Yukio blinked and watched the other two go. "You don't want to go see Ryuuji-kun?" He looked at Renzou and adjusted the strap of the bag on his shoulder. "You don't have to stay behind."

"Bon's a grump even when he ain't injured. And I can see him any time. You, on the other hand..." The grin on Renzou's lips widened. He closed the distance between them and threw an arm over the taller teen's shoulders. Yukio didn't fight the friendly hold. "C'mon. You're not busy right now, right? Let's go up to my room." Renzou was in the process of urging the other up when he paused. "Wait, have you eaten yet?"

"Not yet." Yukio pushed up his glasses and smiled lightly. "I was just about to head back and get something to eat over homework."

"Dude, homework can wait," Renzou grumbled, reprimanding him. As their height difference made it harder for Renzou to drag Yukio away, he slid his arm off the others neck and latched into his wrist instead. "C'mon, let's go grab a bite at the cafeteria first."

"Ah, but...!" Yukio followed half-heartedly, his eyebrows knitting together at the thought of putting off his homework. But as Renzou dragged him down the stairs, he realized then that the sight of his friend had immediately banished his previously heavy thoughts. He sighed quietly and the smile that crossed his lips was soft and indulgent. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take a break. "Alright, alright," he sighed and trotted a couple paces to fall into step beside Renzou.

When they got to the cafeteria, Renzou let go of Yukio, but he stayed at his side as they got in the line and got food. The two made idle conversation until they sat down at a table. Then, Renzou picked up his utensils and began to dig in.

"It ain't as good as your brother's food, but I got a feeling your brother ain't headin' back to your dorm any time soon," Renzou said in between bites. "He was dyin' to get outta class today. Could barely sit still," he joked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Sounds like him." Yukio sighed with a small smirk. He bit into his food and swallowed properly before speaking again. "And you? How's your classes? I hope you're not having too many difficulties."

"I've been doin' fine. We don't get nearly as much work as you guys seem to, and it's the first day back after break, so..." Renzou shrugged slightly. "Not much to worry about yet. How about you?"

"Just a bit of homework to do but not much since, as you said, first day." Yukio ate slowly, relaxed with the atmosphere provided by Renzou in front of him. He didn't remember the last time he was able to really enjoy his food.

"That so?" It was just as Renzou had thought. The pink-haired teen felt his lips spread into a grin. "You got some free time, then, right?"

"Well, I still have homework to do..." Yukio looked at the pink-haired teen and saw the smile starting to shrink. "So I'll have to go back early but I'm sure I can spare an hour. Two at the most."

Renzou looked pleased to hear this. "I'm gonna hold ya to that," he warned. "Don't think I'm gonna let ya leave so easily."

"Oh?" Yukio smirked and peeked at Renzou over his glasses. "Are you kidnapping me now?" He popped a piece of bread daintily into his mouth, a smile still pulling at his lips.

"Do ya want me to?" Renzou found himself leaning closer, leaning his cheek on the arm he'd propped up on the table. The food in front of him lay untouched, only half-finished. His eyes were completely focused on Yukio now. "I ain't afraid of taking drastic measures if ya leave me no other choice, so ya better give in quickly, Yuki-chan."

"Drastic measures?" Yukio's smile was bright and there was a teasing glint in his eyes. "Are you sure you know who you're messing with, Ren-kun?" He leaned his chin on twined fingers propped up by his elbows.

"Ya think I'm scared of ya,  _sensei_?" Renzou shot back. Where once before, the term had been uttered scathingly, now it was delivered in a teasing tone.

"You should be." But the smirk wasn't kept for long as Yukio laughed softly, breaking the playful air around them. "Don't worry. I'll go with you. So what are you planning on doing once you've kidnapped me?" he asked, smiling over a bottle of mineral water before taking a sip.

"Well, it's still early, so we could go out like usual. But I kinda wanna stay in today." Noticing that Yukio was nearly done with his food got Renzou to start sorting through his trash. He finished his soda with one last gulp and set it aside. "My roommate won't be back until way later. He's in some sort of club, so it'll just be the two of us."

Renzou had invited Yukio to his room before, but they hadn't stayed there long that time. Things had still been a little awkward between them then, and his roommate had been around that day too, making the tense mood even more difficult to dissuade. Renzou's roommate was a nice guy, but the pink-haired teen hadn't made much effort to get to know him yet. Lately, all of his attention had been on his childhood friend.

"I don't mind staying in," Yukio assured him. He placed the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and picked up his tray, tucking the bottle of mineral water under his arm. "Besides, mm..." He swallowed his food. "We've already spent money, so." He shared a smile with Renzou as he gathered up his garbage on the tray. "It'd be best."

With that decided, the two of them headed up to Renzou's room after clearing their trays. As the pink-haired teen had predicted, the room was empty once they got there. Renzou dropped his book bag next to his desk and plopped down on his bed. The motion caused the teddy bear Yukio had given him yesterday to fall on its side.

Yukio placed his bag beside Renzou's and picked up the teddy bear. He sat down and tucked his legs neatly underneath him as he placed the bear in his lap. "So what shall we do for the one or two hours we have?" he asked, meticulously straightening the teddy bear's fur at the top of its head.

Renzou shrugged.

"Dunno."

Without taking his eyes off Yukio, Renzou arranged his pillows and leaned back on the headboard. The pink-haired teen looked at ease, and there was a smile on his lips that was only reserved for Yukio. "I got cards here... somewhere. Also got the latest SQ Jump if ya wanna check it out." They could also watch TV, but Renzou didn't want to go out into the common room and risk being interrupted by Konekomaru and the rest of his dorm mates. "We could just talk too. Ya seem like you've got your hands busy already," he said, chuckling.

"Oh." Yukio blinked and quickly placed the teddy bear down on the sheets with a sheepish smile. "Sorry." He let his hands rest in his lap as he looked at his friend, finding just the sight of him to be relaxing in itself. "Have you read the SQ issue yet? If not, we could read it together," he offered.

"Sounds good! I didn't get around finishing readin' it yet, so here, scoot up." Renzou patted the spot next to him before reaching over to grab the magazine that was sitting on his desk.

Yukio smiled softly and shuffled himself closer to Renzou's side. The magazine was placed between them and, shoulder to shoulder, the two boys read. It was mostly quiet except for the small comments they tossed at each other during certain pages. Yukio teased Renzou for reading too slow, Renzou complained good-naturedly in return, declaring Yukio must be skipping lines. Eventually, they shifted to lay down on the bed with the SQ Jump issue before them.

Yukio looked at Renzou as he waited for him to finish a page. A smirk was pulling at the corner of his lips but he quickly looked back to the page once it was finally turned, dodging Renzou's eye. He was… really enjoying this. Just lying there with him, reading manga, and doing absolutely nothing productive. It was strange and certainly not something he was used to doing on his own, especially when the pressing presence of his bag on the floor reminded him of the homework he still had to do. But whenever he finished a page too quickly, his eyes found Renzou's face again and Yukio didn't forget his homework as much as he simply dismissed it.

It wasn't that much. He could do it later.

But no matter how much they were both trying to prolong the moment, time continued to pass by, and they were slowly but surely reaching the end of the magazine. Renzou found himself lingering on each page longer than was necessary. He stopped paying much attention to what they were reading as he wondered just how much time had already passed. He didn't want this moment to end. Yukio's body was pressed close to him, just as it had been yesterday in the Ferris wheel. But this time, there was no danger hanging over their heads, no demons attacking their friends. It was just them, relaxed, alone, and enjoying themselves.

 _He's smilin',_ Renzou thought with a small smile of his own as he glanced at the other out of the corner of his eye. The sight of that smile always managed to warm his chest. It was…

_Beautiful…_

The word rang strongly in his mind. It wasn't the first time the thought had popped into his head, but it was the first time Renzou became aware of the weight behind it. The realization caught him off-guard and filled him with confusion.

 _I don't…_ he thought haltingly, not sure what he wanted to deny. His eyes lost complete focus as he tried to backtrack away from the niggling realization he had stumbled upon. This was dangerous territory he was heading into, and he wasn't sure he wanted to explore it right now… or ever. And so, as Renzou always did with everything he didn't like to deal with, he pushed his thoughts away and forced himself to keep his eyes on the magazine, hoping Yukio didn't notice his inner turmoil. Unfortunately, his hopes were almost immediately dashed.

"Ren-kun?" Yukio tilted his head forward a bit to look at Renzou's turned away expression. His eyebrows knitted together in slight concern. "Are you alright?"

"I—yeah, I'm fine." Renzou felt his stomach twist as Yukio leaned in closer. The back of his neck began to heat up in a way he wasn't used to, but he ignored it and forced himself to wave off Yukio's inquiry with an easy grin. However, though he managed to get the other to focus his attention back on the current series they were reading, Renzou found himself struggling to do the same.

 _What the hell am I gettin' so flustered for!?_ he thought with frustration, telling himself off for reacting like this.  _There's… no way I like him like that… right?_

Renzou found it easy to fool himself by remembering the type of magazines that he had hidden in his nightstand. It was a memory he associated with Akane, the pretty cashier he had met just a month ago.

 _She had a nice smile too_ , Renzou reminded himself, latching on to the first excuse he could think of. But that didn't explain the warmth he'd felt yesterday when Yukio had waved off the idea of getting a girlfriend, saying, that if he got one,  _"I'd have less time for you."_ It didn't explain the anxiety Renzou felt now as the irrational fear that Yukio would be able to read his mind in their close proximity overtook him.

The comfortable silence that had grown between them began to fade as Renzou continued to try and wave off this unwanted realization. Though Yukio's presence at his side had, just moments ago, caused the pink-haired teen to smile contently, now, it was hard to keep the same expression. It didn't go unnoticed. By the time the SQ Jump issue was finished, Yukio sat up, looking at Renzou's head. Something had clearly bothered the pink-haired teen but Yukio couldn't put his finger on it. Perhaps just a stressful thought? He couldn't figure out a possible trigger, but he was sure that if it was serious, Renzou would tell him. So Yukio started talking about the recent chapter of a series they had just read, deciding instead to distract his friend from whatever troubling thoughts had formed in his head.

Renzou latched on to the distraction gratefully, but he made sure to put some distance between them as he too sat up.

"Heh, tell me about it. Being an exorcist would be much cooler if we had weapons like that. Though it'd be a pain to have a parasitic type Innocence."

"Indeed. Though I suppose it's an equal exchange. For something with so many pros, there should be an equal amount of cons." Yukio shrugged. "Still, it definitely would make our jobs a little easier." He sighed, letting his hands rest in his lap.

Renzou's eyes darted over to Yukio. The other's frown caused his own lips to tilt down in concern. "Yeah, I heard some missions can get really rough. Ya went on one recently, right? How'd that go?"

Renzou rarely asked Yukio about his missions. He tried not to think about them much. It was easy to forget that Yukio was more than just a student—that he was a teacher's assistant, and a certified exorcist of his own right too—when they spent most of their time together messing around and enjoying each other's company.

Renzou took great pleasure in making Yukio relax—in making Yukio smile.

He tried hard not to think about the reasoning behind that.

"It was routine." Yukio looked at Renzou, taking the unfamiliar subject of conversation in stride. "There was a low level nest of salamanders causing a couple forest fires but it was a fairly simple in-and-out mission. A couple burn victims but we treated them quickly," he said. A small smile settled on his face. "And the impressed looks I get whenever I demonstrate why I'm a certified exorcist are always enjoyable."

Yukio looked so proud of himself that it was hard for Renzou to do anything other than smile back. "Ya like keepin' people on their toes, don't ya, Yuki-chan?" he said, feeling his lips tugging up against his will. "Still, try not to overwork yourself, okay? Ya got enough on your plate."

"I'm not overworking myself." Yukio laughed gently under his words. "Everything is getting done on time and I still have time to spend with you. You worry too much." He smirked.

Renzou's stomach flipped. He punched Yukio's shoulder softly and looked away, huffing.

"Well someone's gotta," he grumbled, the words falling from his lips automatically.

Yukio beamed. "Indeed," he agreed. "And I'm glad it's you, Ren-kun." He leaned over and returned the light punch to Renzou's shoulder. "Just as long as you let me worry about you in return."

Renzou couldn't meet Yukio's gaze. An unwanted warmth was spreading across his chest and the spot that Yukio's fist had touched was now tingling.

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed, keeping his voice and his smile steady. Why did Yukio have to sound so fond?

 _There's no way this is happenin' to me_ , he thought.  _No freakin' way._


	41. June 2, 2009

Yukio sighed. He looked down at the watch on his wrist to see that, by now, twenty two minutes have passed. He sighed again and focused back on the book in his lap.

Yukio was sitting in Renzou's room, waiting for his friend to return. He had mentioned that he'd wanted a drink and had offered to go buy both of them some. Yukio had wanted to go with him but Renzou refused, telling him that he could stay put. He insisted. A heavy weight in the pit of his stomach told Yukio that he knew exactly why. Still, he waited.

But there it was. The soft tone of his phone beeping beside his thigh told him he had a text message. He opened the phone and checked the text with a frown.

_[Sorry for takin' so long, Yuki-chan! I ran into Akane-chan and we got caught up in conversation. It doesn't look like I'll be back any time soon so you can go home. I'm sorry again! I'll make it up to you!]_

Yukio closed his phone silently and gathered his things.  _I suppose I deserve this._  The thought was sudden but not really that dishonest.

For the past three weeks, Renzou had been caught up with his new girlfriend. The times that they spent together dwindled further and further each day and Yukio wondered if it would, at one point, stop completely. He wondered if this was how Renzou felt when their letters had waned. This helpless feeling of losing his friend to something he couldn't control was far more than an ache to his chest. It was a hole.

He was happy for Renzou. After all, the one time he had watched them from afar, Renzou was smiling and so was she. Renzou was happy so Yukio was happy.

Or so he liked to tell himself.

Yukio put his coat on and grabbed his bag. He walked out of the room, running into Renzou's roommate on the way out. He smiled and exchanged a few polite words before he left down the hallway. The smile faded by the time he descended into the lobby and walked out the door. He took the long way around the dorm building in order to avoid passing by the convenience store. It was only once he was just a few feet away from the front door of his dorm that he heard someone call out to him.

"Y-Yukio!"

The familiar voice was none other than Shiemi's. The blonde girl was running up to Yukio, carrying a square-shaped bundle in her arms. Her wooden sandals clattered against the floor as she struggled to catch up to him.

Yukio turned to her and smiled, waiting for her to fall into step beside him. "Good evening, Shiemi-san. Heading to see my father?"

Shiemi nodded twice at the question and began fiddling with the bundle she was carrying, playing with the ends of the teal cloth covering it. "The malachites arrived, so I came by to drop them off," she told him, smiling slightly as she glanced up at him.

"Ah, I see. Thanks for your hard work." He smiled politely. "Would you like to come in for tea? You came all this way so I'm sure no one would mind."

Shiemi looked somewhat unsure, but her face seemed to light up at the question. "Is it really alright?" she asked, staring up at Yukio hopefully.

"Of course it is." The young exorcist opened the door to the dorm as they arrived and it didn't take long before he realized that they were alone in the building. It wasn't really that surprising once he thought about it. His brother was probably visiting Ryuuji as usual and his father was most likely out working somewhere. He invited Shiemi to the cafeteria anyway and took the package out of her hands. "Here, let me take this for you. Why don't you sit down?"

Shiemi took a seat at the table nearest to the kitchen as Yukio placed the package down on the counter.

"Thanks," she said, her tone as quiet as it was happy. Her eyes followed Yukio as leaned over the counter to speak into the kitchen.

Yukio soon returned with a tray that held a teapot with steeping tea, two cups, and a small cup of sugar. He placed the tray between them and sat across from Shiemi with a polite smile. "So how are you adjusting in cram school?"

"I'm doing well!" Shiemi reached over for her cup, placing it right in front of her. Her fingers curled around the handle and she stared down into the steaming drink once the tea had been served. "Rin and the others have been really kind to me. I've been doing well on the rest of my classes too. But of course, I still got a lot to work on to improve!" she added, her voice gaining a little courage.

"How about you?" Shiemi looked up at Yukio, her voice a little more timid now. "You've been looking a little down lately. Is everything alright, Yukio?"

Yukio's facade faltered and as he poured his tea, a bit of it spilled onto the surface of the table. "Sh-..." He stopped the word from coming out of his mouth with a glance to Shiemi and quickly grabbed a couple napkins to clean the spill before it reached the edge.

"I'm fine, Shiemi-san, but really, I appreciate the concern," he said, smiling slightly as he wiped up the mess.

Shiemi stared at Yukio, and after a moment, her expression began to falter. Her lips twitched into a small frown and she looked back down to her cup, indecisive. It took her a few moments before she could gather the courage to speak what was on her mind.

"I know you have Rin and Shima-kun to rely on," she began softly, not looking at him, "but you can always talk to me, Yukio." She tried to sound reassuring, but wasn't sure if it was working. She continued to talk, wanting Yukio to understand she could trust her. "You've helped me out so much these past few years, so I want to help you too, if I can. If you want," she added, blushing slightly.

Yukio looked at her and flushed softly. He pushed up his glasses and sighed. "It's not that I don't trust you," he started, wanting to reassure her. He lifted the cup and took a sip, the warm liquid aiding in calming his nerves and loosening his tension.

"To be quite honest, I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling the way I am. I suppose it is jealousy but I shouldn't be feeling this way. Ren-kun is happy with his new girlfriend and I should be happy for him." The cup came to rest on the table with a soft sound. "But I'm not."

Shiemi's eyes widened a bit as she listened to Yukio reveal what had been weighing on his mind.  _Yukio's jealous?_ She hadn't expected him to say that. The thought hadn't crossed her mind at all, but now that it had, she could see why. She could relate after all. Though she had been getting along with everyone at cram school, she couldn't help but to feel jealous sometimes of the close friendships they all had already.

To think that Yukio felt the same way… it made her feel a little less lonely. Shiemi opened her mouth, wanting to comfort Yukio even though she wasn't sure quite how, but the boy was already shaking his head.

"But really, Shiemi-san. It's no big deal," Yukio continued, forcing on a smile. "You shouldn't worry too much. I'll be fine."

Shiemi frowned.

"Of course I'm worried," she protested, not liking the way Yukio was trying to dismiss the conversation. "W…We're friends too!" she said, curling her fingers around her teacup tightly. The heat on her face was growing by the second, but Shiemi willed herself to continue speaking. "And… I'm sure if you talk with Shima-kun, he'll understand how you're feeling. You should tell him!"

_Ah, friends…_  Yukio's eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. That's right. Shiemi was also his friend. Oh, he'd been foolish. How could he forget? There was both a twist in his chest and a warmth that blossomed there and he gripped tighter to his cup.

"I don't think that's possible." Yukio pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ren-kun is enjoying himself. I'll just… have to get used to sharing his attention, I suppose."

Was that how that was supposed to work? Shiemi frowned slightly, but she supposed Yukio was right. It wouldn't be right not to share. She understood that. But it wasn't fair for Yukio to look this miserable either.

"I'm sure Shima-kun wouldn't want you to be sad… So if you are, I think you should let him know," she told him softly.

"I suppose so." Yukio looked down at his tea. He remembered how long he had gone without exchanging letters with Renzou and how much longer the meager correspondence had gone. Was this how Renzou had felt? In that case, he really did deserve it, didn't he? Intruding on Renzou's happiness just to cater to his own was something he didn't want to do.

"Perhaps I will." Yukio accompanied the lie with a reassuring smile. He had no intention of speaking to Renzou on the matter but telling Shiemi as much would only invite more strife and protests. "Thank you, Shiemi-san. I'm glad we ran into each other today."

Shiemi smiled brightly, unaware of Yukio's true intentions. "I'm glad I could help," she said, her face lighting up with relief. "You can always count on me, Yukio!" she assured him happily before finally taking a sip of her tea.

The two spent the next few minutes chatting idly about school until Shiemi remembered she had to get back to the shop. Yukio walked her to the door and used his key to open a portal to the shop. He thanked her once more for her advice before sending her off. The door closed with a light click. Yukio sighed heavily, pulled the key from the lock, and tucked the entire ring of keys back into his pocket.

Things were going to get a lot more complicated. Yukio trudged up the stairs, pinching the bridge of his nose. But did they really have to be so hard? Perhaps taking Shiemi's advice wasn't such a bad idea. Perhaps things would change and Renzou would realize and be able to balance the both of them at a more equal rate.

No. Yukio couldn't ask him to do that. Especially when he himself failed to do so before they ever even met. Renzou was happy with Akane. He was having fun. Who was he to infringe on that?

_His friend._  The thought came suddenly and stubbornly but Yukio just as insistently pushed it back. Instead, he returned to his room, took out his textbooks, and laid them out on his desk.

In times of uncertainty, Yukio fell back into the familiar and safe. He picked up his pencil, opened his notebook, and began on his homework.


	42. June 29, 2009

Renzou sighed loudly. He looked up at the screen of his phone to check the time to see that, by now, almost twenty minutes had passed. He sighed again and let his phone flip shut before rolling around on the bed until he was laying on his stomach.

Renzou was currently in Yukio's room, waiting for the teen to show up. After the whole incident that had occurred in the girl's bathroom, Yukio had taken off to help his dad treat Paku's wounds. Renzou had lingered behind and stayed with Konekomaru, but he eventually made his way to Yukio's room, expecting to find the brunet there. Much to his annoyance, Yukio was still nowhere to be seen.

 _Ah, geez... Just how long is he gonna take?_  the pink-haired teen thought disgruntledly.

Renzou scowled and propped up his chin on his arms as he glanced towards the door. He stared at it with an intense gaze, inwardly wishing that time would move faster already. Though he hadn't initially been very excited about attending this week-long training camp, upon realizing it would mean sleeping over at Yukio's dorm, his willingness to participate had skyrocketed. After all, he hadn't been hanging out with Yukio lately. And even if that wasn't the case, Renzou wasn't about to miss out on the opportunity to visit Yukio's room. This would be his first time doing it after all.

He had been in the dorm before, of course, but the pink-haired teen had never really gotten the chance to come and visit properly, especially not after he had hooked up with Akane. These days, Yukio and he hung out much less than before, but they still went out from time to time, and they occasionally hung out at Renzou's room as well.

It was about time he got to see this side of Yukio though.

After resigning himself to the fact that Yukio was probably going to take a while before showing up, Renzou found himself getting up to his feet. He was getting bored of waiting, and if Yukio was going to take long, then he might as well explore.

"Now, what type of things do ya keep around here?" Renzou asked himself in a quiet voice as he slowly spun on his heel and observed his surroundings.

Yukio's room was very neat, not too unlike Renzou's own. Though the pink-haired teen could be sloppy from time to time, for the most part he kept his room tidy, and he was thankful that his roommate did the same. Yukio's room, however, was much more meticulously organized. A little  _too_ organized.

_Hidin' somethin', Yuki-chan~?_

Renzou recalled having teased Yukio once about having a fetish for nurses. Now was the perfect chance to check if his assumption had been true or not. The younger boy  _had_ to be keeping those kinds of magazines around here.  _He's_   _a guy, after all_ , Renzou reminded himself with a smile that was just a little tight around the edges. All the pink-haired teen had to do was find them.

He began to search around, looking through the bookcase and opening the drawers of Yukio's desk. The pink-haired teen was amused to find that his best friend kept a ridiculous amount of spare glasses inside one of them, but after shaking his head, he closed the drawer again and continued to look around the room. Unfortunately, his search turned out to be fruitless. There was nothing suspicious hiding around Yukio's room at all. Just as he was deciding to give up on his quest, however, Renzou caught sight of Yukio's bed again and paused.

 _No way,_ he thought as a rising grin crossed his lips.  _He can't be that obvious, can he?_

There was nothing under the mattress, but when Renzou checked under the bed, he spotted something sitting towards the back.

"What's this?" Renzou's brow furrowed. He reached out a little further until he could pull out the mysterious item. Bringing out into the light revealed a small, worn shoebox. Renzou's eyes shone as he realized what he had found.  _Jackpot!_  he thought.

But as he sat on the bed and took the lid off the box, the light in Renzou's eyes dimmed and his smile fell. The contents inside the box were not porn magazines at all—instead, what he had found was…

Letters.

_Yuki-chan, you…_

Renzou's fingers brushed over the top of the pile of envelopes and found his own handwriting staring back at him. Yukio had kept these, had brought them here to school. The sight of these letters filled him with nostalgia, as well as something deeper, and much more intrinsically sadder.

He let himself hold on to that feeling for a long second, swallowing hard, before closing the box softly and putting it back right where he found it.

It was about another ten minutes before Yukio walked into the room with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Ren-kun. That took much longer than I expected." He adjusted his glasses and smiled at the other occupant in the room. "But I'm free for the rest of the night. Father shouldn't need my help anymore."

Renzou looked up from his phone the moment Yukio walked into the room.

"It's about time," he said with a small smile. Any trace of his previous mood was gone by now. After finishing the text he had been writing, Renzou flipped his phone shut and sat up on his bed. He gave Yukio a quick once-over, taking note of the faint lines of worry that lingered behind his smile. "Is Paku-san alright?" he asked, frowning slightly.

Yukio nodded. "Yes. Thankfully Shiemi-san's quick response in treatment did well. She's going to be just fine with some rest and proper medication." He seemed genuinely relieved when he said this and walked over to his closet. The young exorcist pulled off his coat and hung it up. "What about you?" he asked as he loosened his tie to pull it off. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, of course," Renzou said, bobbing his head. "Well," he paused to give the other a wry smile, "things ended in a bit of freaky note today, with that demon breaking in, but it's reassuring to know ya have it all under control, sensei," he teased.

Yukio's smile became a tad strained. "I suppose so." His tone was light and he hung the tie around the neck of the hanger where he'd placed his coat. He carefully unpinned the exorcist pendant from the front, placed the coat in his closet, and walked to his desk to put the pin on its surface.

"Huh? Why'd ya take that off?" Renzou asked, staring curiously at the pin from the bed.

Yukio blinked. "Oh it's just... I have three coats." He held up three fingers. "I was going to wear a different one tomorrow. I usually take this off and exchange it between them, you see." He smiled as he emptied his pockets as well, placing his wallet and keys down beside his pin.

"Ah." Renzou let out a noise of understanding. "Ya only get the one, huh? Sounds like a pain to be switchin' it around." The pink-haired teen scrunched up his nose. Considering that was the case, he was surprised Kinzou had never complained about misplacing his own.

"Oh yeah!" Renzou's mind quickly switched back to their previous subject. "What happened to Kamiki-san? She went with you guys, right?"

"Yes, she did." Yukio nodded and pulled over a chair to sit beside the bed. "I figure she was going to check up on Paku-san but she didn't come into the room." He sat down and sighed. "I expect she feels bad that she wasn't able to defend her."

"Ah," Renzou noted. "Well, makes sense," he said with a small nod. "I'd feel pretty bad too if I couldn't protect ya either, Yuki-chan," he continued with a teasing grin.

"I think out of the both of us, if anyone is going to do the protecting, it's going to be me." Yukio's eyebrow perked up as did a smirk. "I've seen your aim and, quite frankly, I'm not impressed."

"Hey!" Renzou huffed and grabbed the pillow nearest to his reach before throwing it at Yukio's face. "Will ya lay off about that already?!" he complained, scowling.

Yukio let out a grunt of surprise but then laughed as he pulled the pillow off his face. His glasses were a tad askew from the impact. "Ren-kun, no need to be so sensitive! I used to have horrid aim, too. When I was eleven," he teased with a smile.

Renzou let out another huff. "Excuse me, Mr. Prodigy," he grumbled. "We can't all be expert shooters here."

Yukio's smile softened a bit. "Alright, alright. Sorry." He tossed the pillow back and it gently poofed against Renzou's face.

"Ugh." Renzou let the pillow drop without retaliating, though he did make a face at Yukio. His fingers were twitching to reach forward to fix the other's skewed glasses, but he held back and put his weight on his hands as he leaned back on the bed. "So, what do ya wanna do for the rest of the night? We still got a few hours before we gotta hit the hay," he pointed out.

"Well, considering that this is a training camp for cram school, why not get a bit of extra studying in?" Yukio adjusted his glasses and smiled. "I'll even tutor you."

Renzou immediately grimaced. "Oh, c'mon! You're kiddin', right?!" he protested.

"No I'm not. You should take advantage of the fact that your best friend is a teacher's assistant and ask for study help." Yukio crossed his arms but his frown was soft on his lips. "Just an hour of study would make all the difference once the exam comes along. And then once we're done, we can keep going with Persona, alright?" He smiled placatingly.

Renzou let out a long groan. "I had enough of studyin' for today. Can we not?" He looked at Yukio pleadingly. "If ya really wanna be a pal, why not just tell me what's gonna be on the quiz tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not!" Yukio huffed. "If you cheat, you'll end up not learning anything at all. If I really wanted to be a pal, I'd not only help you pass but make sure you retain some of that information after the test is over!" He took a deep breath, paused, and then sighed it out. "I just want you to succeed, Ren-kun."

Renzou felt the urge to squirm under that gaze. "Ugh, don't give me that look!" He leaned forward again and once his fingers inched towards the pillow that had fallen into his lap, he began to fiddle with the edges. "Givin' me answers doesn't mean I ain't learnin'. I mean, I still gotta learn the answers, right?" He gave Yukio a hopeful smile.

Renzou was greeted with a single raised eyebrow as a response. "Do you honestly think that's going to convince me?"

"It was worth a try, wasn't it?" The pink-haired teen grin's turned shameless.

"Ren-kun, you're insufferable." Yukio leaned forward and smacked his shoulder but there was the tiniest of smiles pulling at his lips.

Renzou found himself smiling back, his mood light as he winced playfully at the smack. "But ya still like me, right, Yuki-chan?" The words flowed out of his mouth easily, without thinking. Yukio's smile made Renzou forget about everything but this moment.

"Of course I like you." Yukio sighed through his smile, responding easily. "But whether I like you or not isn't going to affect the outcome of your test."

Yukio stood up and took the pillow from Renzou's lap, lightly smacking his chin with it before he stood straight. "Come on. Half an hour."

"Hey!" Renzou automatically caught the pillow, but his mind was having a hard time catching up with his body. Yukio's soft words were still rattling around in his mind.

_"Of course I like you."_

_Nononono_ , Renzou thought hurriedly. He pushed Yukio's words away and tried to think of Akane instead. It was her quiet laugh that warmed his chest, not Yukio's. He licked his lips and tried to remember the taste of her lip gloss, but found himself drawing a blank as he stared down at the pillow.

"Ren-kun?" Yukio had his hand on Renzou's shoulder. "Are you sure you feel alright? You seem tired."

The touch caused the pink-haired teen to straighten up. When his head snapped up, all traces of his inner panic were gone, tightly locked away under his easygoing grin.

"What if I am tired?" he challenged playfully. The words came out more truthful than he wanted, but Renzou let his smile fool both Yukio and himself. "C'mon, it's gettin' late and we've had a long day! You can tutor me tomorrow!" he insisted.

Yukio straightened up. "You were the one who said we had a few hours before sleep. You're not lying to try and dodge studying, right?" He crossed his arms loosely.

"I said I was tired, not that I was sleepy," Renzou pointed out smugly. "On top of that, I'm hungry, so I propose a trip down to the kitchen!"

"You really are trying to dodge studying," Yukio protested. He sighed and pushed up his glasses. "I'm sure Ukobach is downstairs. If we get a snack will you study for at least half an hour?"

Renzou groaned at Yukio's insistence. "Ya really want me to study that badly, huh?" The pink-haired teen stared up Yukio. Something told him the other wasn't about to budge. "Ugh, fine. But only half an hour! And we're gettin' somethin' to eat first!" he demanded, slipping off the bed.

"Deal." Yukio smiled and lead the way out of the room. "We shouldn't eat too much. We still have to sleep later."

"Yeah, I know." Renzou conceded to the point. It wasn't as if he was that hungry, he just wanted to get out of studying for a little longer. It hadn't been long since they had dinner, but with all the excitement that had happened after they had taken their quiz, the pink-haired teen was beginning to feel peckish again.

The two made it down into the seemingly empty kitchen. Yukio glanced around. "Ukobach? Are you here?" No sooner than he had called out, though, a small demon hopped out from the shadows and chirped happily in greeting. Yukio smiled. "Could we bother you for an evening snack? Something light."

Ukobach nodded at once and hurried into the cabinets. Yukio, meanwhile, made his way to the fridge. "Would you like something to drink, Ren-kun?"

"Sure. What do ya got?"

Renzou trailed after Yukio and peered around him to look at the contents of the fridge. There were a few soda cans, and carton of milk and orange juice, and several bottles of mineral water, but what caught Renzou's eye the most were the neatly stacked bento boxes that were taking up most of the space in the fridge.

"I guess he managed to keep Bon from ruinin' tomorrow's lunch…" he muttered, amused. He eyed the yellow bento box that sat the bottom of the pile. The thing was at least two inches wider than the rest of the boxes.

"The one at the bottom is Bon's, ain't it?" he asked then, sounding exasperated.

The reaction was immediate. Yukio sighed. "I wouldn't doubt it. Ever since Ryuuji-kun's injury, Nii-san has taken to feeding him up. To help him recover and whatnot. He hasn't sized down the portions at all though."

Renzou let out a groan. "We should just eat some of that instead of makin' Ukobach work. There's definitely more than enough!" 

At Yukio's disapproving look, Renzou huffed quietly but didn't relent.

"Oh, c'mon! Bon's gotten fat, ya know!"

Yukio snorted. He quickly clapped a hand over his mouth and turned his face away. "Ren-kun, don't say that." The scolding tone was attempted, much to Yukio's credit, but the tilt of laughter in his voice was very apparent.

Renzou grinned.

"I'm right and you know it!" The pink-haired teen leaned back against the kitchen table. A few feet away, Ukobach was finishing making a pair of sandwiches. Renzou was still smiling as he stared at Yukio, but when he spoke, he had a bit of a more serious tone. "Ya really oughta tell your brother to cut back though. Seriously. Now that Bon's all healed up now, I'm sure he's gonna hit the gym again like the muscle-freak that he is, but Rin sure ain't gonna make it easy for him lose all that weight he's gained."

"Yes I know. I've been victim myself of Nii-san's feeding." Yukio pushed up his glasses. "Perhaps if we talk to Ryuuji-kun?"

"Maybe..." Renzou began to reply when a quiet mewl behind them interrupted them. Ukobach was holding out a tray with two sandwiches cut into triangles and a small plate of shortbread cookies.

"Thank you, Ukobach. We'll bring down the dishes in the morning." Yukio placed his water on the tray, took it, and smiled.

"Ah, yeah. Thanks." Renzou allowed his attention to be sidetracked as they accepted the food, and though the pink-haired teen kept his distance from the eager demon perking up next to them, he was smiling gratefully too. "This looks good!" he said, resisting the temptation to plop one of the snacks into his mouth already. Instead, he reached over to the fridge to serve himself a glass of milk and placed the carton back inside when he we done.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

The two of them returned to the room where Yukio wasted no time in reminding Renzou of his promise.

"Do we have to?" the pink-haired teen whined.

"Half an hour, come on. You can even choose the subject." Yukio placed the tray down on the edge of the empty desks and took the plates off of it, giving them more space.

Renzou gave the desk a look of dread, but after letting out a sigh, he accepted his fate.

"Oh, alright."

The two of them sat down at the desk and Renzou let Yukio have his way and let him tutor him for tomorrow's quiz. He spent the next thirty minutes studiously listening along to Yukio's voice while they ate the food Ukobach had made until sudden thump on the wall to their right made Yukio pause and turn to look with a ruffled expression.

"Honestly... What are those two doing?" he muttered under a huff.

"Havin' fuuun, that's what." Renzou gave Yukio a pleading look. "Can we stop now?" he asked.

Yukio looked back at the pouting teen and then his watch before sighing. "Very well, you kept your promise. We can stop." He smiled softly. Yukio had wanted to do a bit more but was happy he was able to get at least half an hour done. That would be a few more correct answers on the test.

"Yaaay!"

Without wasting a second, Renzou closed his book shut, stood up, and headed for his bag.

"C'mon, Yuki-chan!"

Renzou called Yukio over as he got his PSP out. Once he was on the bed, his back pressed against the wall and the device hanging from his fingers, he turned the game on.

Yukio smiled a little wider and climbed onto the bed as well. He pressed up against Renzou's side and watched the game turn on. They'd been playing the game for about a week now. Renzou usually played with Yukio simply watching and following along with the story, but there were times when Yukio offered his opinion on how to fight a boss or how to proceed. They played together like that.

"Do you think we're about halfway through?" Yukio lifted his knees and propped his elbows on them, letting his hands hang loose on the other side.

"Probably. We're pretty high leveled now."

Renzou's eyes were on the screen, and he was trying to ignore how much Yukio was closely pressed up against him. He liked to think he was getting good at that, honestly. The times in which he caught himself staring at Yukio for long were decreasing. Every time Yukio shifted closer, Renzou reminded himself of the phone resting in his pocket—of Akane. Seeing Yukio relax, making him happy, the warm feeling he got out of doing that was normal. Nothing that he needed to read into.

Yukio gave a grunt of acknowledgement. "I suppose so but you never know what kind of twists these games will throw."

"Heheh, but that's the fun part, Yuki-chan!"

The two settled into their usual routine. Time passed by slowly as Yukio watched Renzou play. He occasionally offered a comment as usual but the day had been long and its events draining. His eyelids were drooping behind his glasses. Renzou was going through a particularly long dungeon and Yukio found his gaze resting on the changing colors in the corner of the screen. Green, yellow, red, battle.

 _If only life was that easy to predict..._  The sleepy thought permeated the cloud in his mind. Yukio's head tilted to the side, lulled by the repeated pattern and the quiet room. His knees fell to the side just as his temple came to rest on Renzou's shoulder.

The pink-haired teen immediately tensed.

_Wha…?_

Without moving a muscle, Renzou looked down to his right and saw that Yukio had fallen asleep. On him. The sudden weight on his shoulder had been startling, but now it caused him to swallow anxiously. As much as he tried to stop himself from doing so, he found his eyes lingering on Yukio's slack expression, the dark eyelashes fluttering against his pale skin. Renzou's grip on his PSP loosened. The faint battle music coming out from the game seemed to fade completely, drowned out by Yukio's soft breaths and his own thudding heartbeat. He was so close... Too close, Renzou admitted. His instinctual desire to run away rose, but it crashed just as fast as he continued to watch Yukio's peaceful expression. He wanted to keep him there, at his side. He wanted to touch him, reach out. But he didn't want to ruin things between them now that they had fixed them. He didn't want them to pull away from each other, not again. Not like before.

It wasn't fair.

No matter how much he tried, these feelings weren't going away. He thought dating Akane would help him push these feelings back, but she was only a momentary distraction. Renzou didn't want to acknowledge the truth, but it was right there in front of him. It was undeniable.

He liked Yukio. More than a friend. More than a best friend. There was no one else in Renzou's life that he wanted to make happy in the way he wanted to make Yukio happy. It had always been like that, since they were children. No one understood him like Yukio did. No one mattered to him like Yukio did.

He liked to think Yukio felt the same.

_Would it really be so bad, telling him?_

The forbidden thought rose and Renzou let himself wonder what the outcome of that would be. He didn't think Yukio would hate him, but…

He didn't want things to change.

The conflict inside him ached strongly. Renzou let his PSP finally slip out of his fingers and it fell on top of the bed sheets with a soft thump. He paid no mind to it. His limbs felt as heavy as his heart did, but before he knew it, he was slowly brushing the brown strands on Yukio's forehead aside. He let his eyes drink in the image before him and gently pulled off the glasses that had slipped down to the brim of Yukio's nose.

"Yuki-chan…" he whispered. The longing in his voice was clear. His calloused fingertips traced a path down Yukio's cheek, the edge of his bottom lip. What would it be like to kiss him?

Renzou swallowed, shifted. Yukio's legs brushed against his side and the motion reminded him of the phone in his pocket. He pressed his lips together and thought of the letters sitting beneath Yukio's bed. The reminders urged him to pull away.

His movements were slow and careful as he helped Yukio lay down on his bed. The younger teen was still wearing his school clothes, but Renzou didn't dare touch him more than was necessary. He placed Yukio's glasses on his desk, picked up his PSP and stood there for a long moment, looking down at his best friend.

When he turned away to cross the room, his brow was scrunched up and there was a frown on his lips. He climbed into Yukio's bed feeling frustrated, wishing he knew what the right answer to his problem was.

 _I can't study my way out of this one, can I?_ he thought, somewhat bitter.

Renzou lay in bed all-too-awake as his thoughts circled with indecision, all the while unaware of the pair of green eyes that were staring at his back in shock.

Yukio had awoken at the whisper of his name and was lucid enough in time to feel the gentle touch trace his lips. He had willed his body to remain limp, his training screaming against his instinct and fighting back the urge to tense. But now with Renzou across the room, he still didn't dare move. Even having his eyes open seemed dangerous. The blurred head of pink hair nestled in a pillow across the room didn't offer the same comfort it normally did.

Yukio forced his eyes closed. He kept his breathing even, slow, and deep so as not to alert Renzou. But he hoped that his friend didn't turn around because he wasn't sure how he was going to relax his expression now that his brow was as furrowed as it was. His skin still remembered the path of Renzou's heated touch and Yukio felt as though his face was on fire.

_"Yuki-chan..."_

He wanted to turn away but showing his back seemed so much worse. He'd never heard Renzou say his name in that tone and just imagining it made Yukio's heart pound. He opened his eyes again, glad that Renzou hadn't moved. Yukio exhaled normally and turned, giving the room, and Renzou, his back.

What was going on? What had just happened? That touch wasn't normal. The way he'd held him and laid him down was too intimate for friendship, surely. The urge to touch his lips was strong, to feel the heat that Renzou had left behind, to rub the tingling sensation out of his skin instead of leaving it there like a brand. Yukio kept his body limp and relaxed but his tongue darted out. He couldn't quite reach the skin where Renzou had left his mark and it only left the sensation all the more pronounced.

What had just happened? What was happening right now? Ren-kun. All he could think about was him. His lips, his heat, his voice, his hands, his eyes, his smile. It all seemed to hit Yukio right then. All those little details that he'd taken for granted, the details he'd passed over, the details he so desperately wanted now to map out with a sharp and studying gaze.

Yukio wanted it so bad. His teeth clenched together and his arm curled up against his chest. He slowly moved, popping the top button of his shirt open. Breathing seemed easier and even then, each inhale was like breathing in flames. His chest burned with the memory of Renzou's hand.

The air was tense as the two boys laid back to back, both of them keeping their breathing calm and trying to slow their frantic hearts.

 _It's over,_  one thought.

 _What's happening,_  the other thought.

But for both boys, sleep was well out of reach.


	43. June 30, 2009

"... Do I have somethin' on my face?"

Yukio was startled by the question. He looked at Renzou sitting across from him during lunch and quickly changed the gaze back down to his food. He'd been staring again and now he could barely stand to look at his friend's puzzled expression. He really had to get a hold of himself and stop thinking about last night. It took a moment to gather his facade once more.

"No. Nothing. You're fine." Yukio smiled quickly. "I'm just thinking." Luckily, it was enough, and their conversation launched once again into the normal.

His lips felt hot.


	44. July 2, 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some announcements!
> 
> -Updates might be a little slower next month because Leezzee is going to be participating in NaNo.
> 
> -It's rynoa26's birthday this Sunday!
> 
> -New Forever Yours chapter will be coming out next week. Look forward to it!
> 
> As usual thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Yukio looked up from the textbook propped in his lap to check and see if Renzou was still asleep. And indeed he was. It was midday in the infirmary and the early afternoon sun was bathing the room in a warm, clean light. Yukio had drawn the curtain part way around the bed so the sunlight wouldn't disturb his friend's sleep, but even in the soft shadow, Yukio could see the eyes closed in a peaceful sleep, half-hidden behind fresh bandages.

When he had seen Renzou in that state, miasma burning the skin on his face and so close to his eyes, Yukio had panicked for a moment. He remembered how hard it had been to push back the part of him that wanted to cry with worry because he needed a clear vision in order to provide the treatment. Even after he'd been able to finish that first response, he still didn't allow himself to cry as the Pages had just been a thin veil of fabric away. Next thing he knew, he'd woken up hours later with a blanket around his shoulders and his glasses on the table beside Renzou's still sleeping form. His father or his brother? He didn't know and he didn't ask. Instead he had simply gotten to work checking on his friend's bandages to make sure the initial treatment had taken.

Luckily for Renzou, Yukio was pretty sure there would be no scarring. The medicine was taking without a hitch and the young exorcist had been keeping a close eye on him to make sure of that. Bandages were changed right when they ought to be, burns were cleaned and treated, and medicine was given for the pain and the miasma's poison. In fact, the only time Yukio had left Renzou's side was that morning when he'd spoken to his homeroom teacher about having to skip that day's lessons for a family emergency. They didn't question the freshman representative. He got the day's classwork and homework and returned to his patient's bedside within an hour.

So now, Yukio was sitting there, attempting to do his classwork. He'd gotten the morning classes done and read the required material already, but looking at the time, he realized it would be time to change Renzou's bandages in just twenty minutes. He should be waking up soon too. Knowing this, it was hard for Yukio to concentrate as he kept glancing at his friend, waiting for those warm and familiar eyes to open.

Yukio pressed a thumb to his bottom lip as he looked back towards the textbook, starting over the page for the third time.

There was a light knock on the door of the infirmary.

"Yukio? Can I come in?" Though the voice was muffled, it was easy to tell that the speaker was Shiemi.

"Yes, come on in." Yukio turned to face the door as the blonde girl peeked her head in and entered.

"Hey," she said with a small smile as soon as she lay her eyes on Yukio. "How's Shima-kun?" she asked in a softer voice when she noticed the sleeping figure beside him.

"He's doing well." Yukio gave her a small smile and glanced towards Renzou. "The medicine is taking and nothing looks serious. He just needs rest now." He returned his gaze to Shiemi and politely closed the book in his lap. "And how are you feeling? Did you sleep well last night?"

Shiemi nodded. "I was really tired yesterday, but when I woke up today I felt as good as new! Nii-chan's doing well too," she said, smiling as her familiar agreed cheerfully from the top of her head.

"That's a relief," Yukio said, and meant it. He was glad that Shiemi was doing alright. Making sure that Renzou was well taken care of was enough on his plate. That alone felt like a huge responsibility. "I'm glad you're feeling alright." Yukio stood up and grabbed a chair from next to another bed and brought it over. "Go ahead and sit," he said politely.

"Oh, is it alright?" Shiemi blushed slightly but took the offered seat. "I ended up wandering here since everyone else is still at school, but I didn't mean to disturb you," she said, gesturing towards the book Yukio had been reading.

"No, no trouble." Yukio sat back down and placed the book beside his bag on the floor. "I can continue afterwards." He was silent for a moment, sparing one more glance towards Renzou before settling his gaze back to his visitor. "Actually, Shiemi-san. There was something I wanted to ask you. Father- that is, Fujimoto-sensei, and I noticed that you hadn't filled in which Meister you wanted on your form. We were planning on speaking with you but he went on a mission today so it was a bit delayed. Have you made a decision?"

Shiemi was a little taken aback by the sudden question. She looked at Yukio wide-eyed, then glanced away, troubled.

"No... I haven't figured it out yet." The quiet words were followed by a sigh. "I wanted to come talk to you about it, but I've just been so confused," she confessed meekly. "Do I really have what it takes to be a exorcist? I'm not sure... I'm not like the others. I only joined cram school to expand a little of my world. I know everyone else is taking it so seriously, so thinking about my half-hearted circumstances is embarrassing," she said, her fists curling on top of her lap.

Yukio stared at the tense shoulders and the almost tormented expression on her face and he was reminded of a time not too long ago. His father would no doubt have something perfect to say, something to lift her spirits and make her feel better. Even his brother would probably do a better job. But Yukio was here now so he'd have to do his best to help her out.

"Shiemi-san, do you remember when we first met?" His smile turned somewhat fond at the memory. "I had just become an exorcist, and I was so nervous. My father had to give me a pep talk right outside a supply store. Looking back on it now, it seems almost silly." He let out a soft breath of a laugh. "But when I saw you almost as nervous as I was, peeking out from behind that door… It made me feel a little better." Yukio smiled. "Even the clover you gave me whilst we were leaving helped me to relax even if you caught me by surprise with how you suddenly called me by my first name like that. I hadn't expected such enthusiasm."

Shiemi's face lit up with embarrassment as the memories of that time resurfaced. She ducked her head and brought up a hand to cover her expression. "I-I'm really sorry about all that," she said, flustered. "Back then I was way worse than I am now..." It had been the first time she met someone her age. And to hear that Yukio was a certified exorcist, that someone her age had already done so much, had left her awed. She'd gathered up her courage to talk to him but she'd been so nervous... It was a little hard to believe that Yukio had felt the same.

"I really haven't changed much, have I?" Glancing up at Yukio and taking in his composed expression made her sigh quietly. "I've always admired how amazing you are, Yukio. You became an exorcist at such a young age, and you're a teacher now too. You always seem so sure about everything, but I... I still feel as lost as I felt back then."

"I'm no one special." Yukio shook his head. "When I was little, I used to be such a crybaby. Nii-san was always helping me out, doing things I couldn't. And Ren-kun too." He missed Shiemi's look of surprise as he turned to look at the sleeping teen. "His letters were often ones of encouragement. The both of them really helped me become someone stronger. I always admired them."

"Is that so?" Shiemi looked a little wistful when she smiled. "You're lucky to have them," she said quietly. Hearing Yukio talk like this made her wish for sibling of her own. She wanted someone to encourage her, to guide her like that.

As she looked at Yukio's expression, at the way he was staring at Shima with that soft, familiar smile, Shiemi realized she already had someone like that.

After all, wasn't that what Yukio was doing for her now?

_I'm lucky too, aren't I?_

"I... I think I decided." Shiemi herself was surprised by how firm her voice sounded. "I want to keep changing. I want to keep growing stronger." _I want to be like you guys,_  she thought, remembering all the encouraging words both Yukio and Rin had ever told her. The determination she once thought of as half-hearted seemed to solidify. "I know it won't be easy, but I'm okay with that. So that's why... I'll do my best to become an exorcist."

Yukio looked at her, his eyebrows shooting up in shock. He hadn't expected it to be so simple- No… He hadn't expected to succeed. "You… Really?" He cleared his throat attempting to conduct himself as the teacher's assistant he was supposed to be. "That's great! If you need help choosing a Meister… Well, you should definitely choose Tamer. You've got the affinity for it, after all. But it's your choice if you'd like to choose a second." Yukio's smile was a bit softer.

"Maybe in the future…" Shiemi shook her head a little, but her eyes were glowing with determination. "I don't want to mess up by doing more than I can handle. I want to do the best I can. So for now, I think I'll focus on becoming a Tamer."

"That's a good idea." Yukio nodded. "I'm glad you've found your determination, Shiemi-san. I'll do my best to help you through your studies as a teacher's assistant and as a friend."

Shiemi beamed. "Thank you, Yukio," she whispered, overcome with gratitude. The blonde girl was radiating so much happiness that it was infectious. Nii, who had been resting lazily on the crown of her head, crawled forward and slid down her bangs as if to examine what was making her so happy. Shiemi giggled and held her palms out in front of her so her familiar could jump down on them.

After lifting Nii back up to the top of her head, she turned her gaze on Yukio again. A part of her couldn't help but to wish she could reciprocate in some manner for all his help.  _One day,_ she determined firmly, before remembering that there  _was_ something she could do as his friend. She recalled the conversation they had last month. Noticing that Shima had yet to wake up, she decided to venture forth and broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

"Um, so... How are you and Shima-kun doing?"

Yukio looked shocked at the sudden question. Looking at Renzou now seemed difficult as he remembered the night a few days ago. "Things are doing fine, actually." Yukio placed on a smile, feeling the urge to touch his lips again. "We've been getting along quite well and spending more time together. But I suppose that has to do with the fact that he's here in the dorm." He gave a soft laugh that was almost forced.

Shiemi peered at Yukio curiously. There was something off about the way he was speaking, but she couldn't quite tell what it was. She ignored the slight flicker of concern that lit up inside of her in lieu of shooting him a warm smile. "Well… That's good. Does that mean you talked to him after all?"

"Of course. I said I would, wouldn't I?" Yukio said dismissively. "But Ren-kun can't help it if he's busy."

Shiemi frowned slightly. "I guess that's true…" She was disappointed by the words, but more than that, she felt disquieted. Yukio's dismissive tone was too light. Shiemi remembered how troubled he had seemed the previous month and she found his nonchalance strange. Shouldn't he be more frustrated?

"You shouldn't let it go if it bothers you though. You should be more honest with your feelings, Yukio," she chastised.

A small sigh escaped the bespectacled teen. He really didn't want to revisit this conversation but Shiemi seemed determined. Yukio remembered when she used to be so shy and timid and it seemed only now that she was starting to break out of her shell more and more. He supposed it had to do with his brother and the gaining of her new friends.

"I know." He spoke softly, his eyes falling on the bumps on the sheets caused by Renzou's legs. "I just don't want to drive him away. If he's happy, I shouldn't bother him. I've gotten used to it already, so it's not as much of a problem as it was before." Yukio shrugged lightly and smiled towards Shiemi. "You shouldn't worry too much. It's nothing I can't handle."

"B-But... you don't have to handle things alone!" she protested. Shiemi leaned forward in her chair as if the action would help her convince him. "And you won't drive him away either. Shima-kun cares about you," she told him, believing every word she was saying.

It was obvious to anyone who had seen the two interact before. There was something about the pink-haired teen that softened every time he was with Yukio. Though Shima was easy-going by nature, there was a part of him that always seemed to hold back, something genuine that only Yukio seemed to bring out. Unfortunately, Shiemi didn't know how to put this into words, so all she could hope was for Yukio to believe her.

"I  _know_  he does, and I care about him too. Which is why the last thing I want to do is ruin his happiness for my own self-gratification." Yukio's lips pressed into a thin line and pinched the bridge of his nose. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Shiemi-san. But please understand. This is a complicated situation and I'll just have to get used to it."

Yukio had convinced himself of that. After all, that night just a few days ago, that soft, heated touch… Neither of them had alluded to it. Renzou had no idea that Yukio had been awake and Yukio had no intentions of revealing the truth. There was too much at stake to get so involved with someone. Not to mention that… Renzou had Akane.

"There's nothing that can be done." Yukio laid his hands in his lap and frowned. The sight of him like that, despondent despite his attempts to look composed, made Shiemi's chest ache.

 _That's not true… There's always something you can do,_ she thought, but she couldn't find it in herself to speak up again. It was clear that her words weren't reaching him and she didn't know how else to help him. Hearing Yukio speak like this really disheartened her. No… it disillusioned her.

Her eyes widened as it finally hit her that Yukio didn't have all the right answers. Even when they had spoken like this last time, Yukio had seemed so sure of himself, so she hadn't considered until now that he was just like her. He, too, had fears and flaws. He wasn't perfect.

The realization calmed her more than she thought it would. The frustration she felt at her own helplessness melted away as she realized she didn't have to give him the right answer or the perfect solution to his problem. All she could do was what she thought was best.

"D… Don't give up, Yukio." Shiemi's voice was strong and insistent. She looked at Yukio with a serious expression. "I can't speak for Shima-kun," she admitted, "but I really think the current situation between the two of you isn't right."

Yukio looked at Shiemi. He felt something different about her tone and expression. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but it felt... earnest. Not that she wasn't being earnest before but there was something different about it this time. Something familiar. He stared at her for a moment, trying to place where he'd seen that expression before. The wide-eyed strength. The stubborn determination.

 _Nii-san._ The answer was clear enough in a second. Shiemi reminded him of his brother. Yukio looked away. She and his brother were spending more time together so it was only natural for her to pick up some of his mannerisms and traits. It was common psychology. So why did it bother him so much?

"I feel the same way, Shiemi-san." Yukio schooled his tone and expression, keeping them blank except for the small smile on his face. "If the opportunity arises to fix things, perhaps I'll take it. But as of right now, I'll endure. Being Ren-kun's friend is enough for me."  _Anything more is too much._

He didn't know why he'd phrased it like that. All he knew was that his lips were as hot as his chest. He felt the same since that night and the memory was as vivid as when it was formed. Yukio's fingers twitched but he stilled them in his lap. Renzou had Akane.

_Ren-kun, what were you thinking?_

Yukio furrowed his brow slightly and checked the watch on his wrist. He was almost relieved. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Shiemi-san, but I have to wake up Ren-kun to change his bandages and give him his medicine." He smiled politely. "Thank you again for your advice. It was nice talking to you like this."

"Oh, um, sure!" Shiemi collected herself as best as she could from the quick dismissal. She got up to her feet and all of the sudden felt flustered of the way she had spoken to Yukio. Her cheeks reddened and she looked down at the ground as she mumbled her goodbyes.

"I'll see you later then. Hopefully Shima-kun will be awake then too," she added, glancing at the teen in question.

"Yes, hopefully." Yukio stood up. "Feel free to come visit a bit later." He led Shiemi to the door with a smile, holding it open for her, and she exchanged a few more parting words with him before taking the familiar path to her room. Yukio's eyes lingered on her for a few short seconds. When he turned back, he noticed Renzou was beginning to stir. He didn't think he'd been talking with Shiemi too loudly. Had he woken him up? Yukio approached the bed quietly but it seemed like his friend was still asleep so he lightly grasped Renzou's shoulder to wake him.

He was completely unaware of the fact that, just seconds ago, the pink-haired teen had been staring him with an alert, thoughtful gaze that had disappeared behind his eyelids the moment he turned to face him.


	45. July 3, 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! Sorry to keep ya waitin', folks! Expect a new chapter for Forever Yours next week, and the week after that, Sincerely. :)
> 
> We hope you all have a wonderful holiday! <3

_What the heck am I thinkin'?_

The fact that Renzou was contemplating this was crazy. He didn't like guys. That was a fact. He wasn't opposed to the idea of guys being together, of course. He made fun of Bon and Rin way too often and he even had an ongoing bet with Konekomaru that they would get together one day. But Renzou?

He'd been chasing after girls ever since he could remember. The idea of dating them, of making them smile, of having a future with one someday had been a constant since early on. He had never expected to fall in love with his best friend. That's why, ever since he realized that he had, Renzou tried his best to bury those feelings away… but it ended up being impossible to ignore them. It was only recently that he had begun to accept them, and since then, he'd had every intention to stop fooling around with Akane instead of continuing this charade. Confessing to Yukio though? That had never really been on the table. Not until now.

_"You should be more honest with your feelings, Yukio."_

_"I know. I just don't want to drive him away."_

The last thing he expected to hear from Yukio's mouth had been those words. For one wild second, Renzou thought he must have been dreaming, but when Yukio shook him awake only minutes later, it took all of Renzou's self-control to prevent himself from confronting him right then and there.

_Yuki-chan likes me?_

Yukio hadn't said as much, but it wasn't hard to read into the conversation he'd overheard. Against his better judgment, hope began to blossom in his chest. Renzou was scared of change. He was scared of messing up and losing his best friend all over again. He didn't want to make things complicated. He didn't want Yukio to pull away from him.

He never considered that Yukio might have feelings for him too. That he, too, was afraid of the same things. The realization left him breathless.

_I gotta be readin' this wrong. This can't be that easy… right?_

Renzou had never considered himself a lucky person. Time and time again he'd had his hopes crushed by his family, by his friends…. by Yukio.

Bandaged fingers tightened over the fabric of his pants. Renzou rested his chin on top his knees and stared blankly at the foot of the bed as a familiar hope and a familiar fear danced in his heart.

"Things are different now… right?" he murmured to himself.

The pink-haired teen pondered on the situation he found himself in quietly, grateful that there was no one there to disturb him. He closed his eyes for a second and remembered the vague sensation of Yukio's warm fingers tending to the burns on his face. Certainly, Yukio cared. But to what extent? Did he really like Renzou back?

Should he risk broaching this conversation?

But Renzou's thoughts were promptly interrupted as the door slammed open with a loud bang. It hit the wall with such force that it swung to a close after Yukio had stormed into the room. He moved to his desk and slammed his hands onto the wooden surface, his lips twisted in a sneer and a burning rage in his eyes.

"I can't believe this… How could they be so stupid?!" he muttered heatedly as he curled his fingers against the desk. He lifted his hands and slammed them down again with a grunt of frustration and anger.

Renzou stared at his best friend wide-eyed. He was frozen in place, shocked by this unusual display of anger. He had never seen Yukio like this… He couldn't fathom what had caused it. Immediately filled with nothing else but concern, Renzou straightened up and scooted over to the edge of the bed, his hands resting on the space between his thighs and his feet propped up on the floor, ready to support his weight.

"Yuki-chan? What's wrong?"

The voice seemed to startle Yukio right out of his anger and he turned to look at his friend, wide-eyed. "Ren-kun… I didn't…" He struggled for words. He had truly forgotten that Renzou was now in his room, having moved him there from the infirmary yesterday afternoon. He had just been so angry that he hadn't considered that Renzou would see this, that he would ask questions. He couldn't very well tell him that he'd had an argument with his brother about revealing his true nature. But it wasn't too late. He could still salvage the situation. He exhaled and pushed up his glasses. "I'm sorry. I forgot you were here." Yukio placed on a smile for his friend, though it was tight and forced. "Just… A family argument."

Renzou frowned. He knew that smile.

"That didn't look like it was just any argument." The accusation was quiet, but the sting was there nonetheless. Renzou's fingers dug into bed sheets, wrinkling the fabric beneath them.

"What happened? Ya okay?" he repeated.

The expectant tone made Yukio's smile falter slightly. He hated this, keeping secrets from Renzou when their relationship had already been ruined once for the same reason.

_"Look, ya oughta know Shima better than us. Do ya really think he'd turn on us?"_

Yukio felt the temptation prickle at the back of his neck. Coming back from that conversation where Rin had so earnestly believed in his friends, believed in Renzou... He wouldn't, would he? Yukio wanted to have faith in that, wanted to have faith in their friendship and whatever feelings they seemed to hold for each other. But would that extend to his brother, the Son of Satan? Would Renzou truly not mind if he found out their true heritage? Would he panic? Would he do something that he would later on regret? Would he regret it at all? Would he leave him out in the cold because of his brother's tainted blood?

He wouldn't, would he?

"I'm sorry, Ren-kun." Yukio sighed, willing the tension to leave his shoulders. "It's not worth mentioning. I lost my temper but it really isn't anything too serious." He looked at him now with a sort of somber expression as he crossed the room and sat on the bed beside him. "You shouldn't waste your energy worrying about it."

Renzou glanced at his side and he carefully observed Yukio's stiff posture. His frown deepened and he honestly felt at a loss.

He wasn't used to them being like this. Up until now, any time they'd caught themselves up in this mood, it was because they had been fighting with each other. This was different, and he didn't know what to do.

 _This was so much easier when we were kids_ , Renzou thought a little helplessly. He longed for the easy escape of thinking over his words before penning them down. Now, he felt the clock ticking away and he was no closer to deciding how to proceed.

They were supposed to be getting better about this. They had promised. He knew there was still so much left unsaid between them, but this... Seeing Yukio like this was something Renzou didn't want to let go without confrontation. That's why he gathered his courage and found himself leaning in closing, nudging Yukio's shoulder with his own.

"Ya seem pretty worried about it yourself. And you, losin' your temper? That seems pretty serious to me. C'mon, talk to me, Yuki-chan."

Yukio tried not to furrow his brow when Renzou insisted. He had to think quickly, something he wasn't really used to when lying to his friend. He always had time, time to regret, time to feel guilt, and time to come up with the right words. But now they were face to face and there wasn't any time.

 _This was so much easier when we were kids,_  Yukio thought. But he quickly turned his head towards Renzou and smiled softly.

"Me losing my temper is much more common than you think. With my brother being the way he is, it'd be unnatural not to explode once in a while, right?"

Yukio deftly dodged the question, and Renzou, who at once felt deeply relieved at the fact that his best friend was finally confiding in him, latched onto the answer. His eyes widened slightly in comprehension. "So that's what it is." He let out a small chuckle and shook his head. "What'd your brother do now? He tryin' to get outta the infirmary already?"

Yukio had to fight to keep the sigh of relief in his lungs. "You guessed it." He placed his chin on his hand and braced his elbow on his knee. "My father always spoils him. He was going to allow Rin out when he needed more rest. Well, I say was but it's already done." He frowned. "That and Ryuuji-kun was also there. So I suppose I felt a bit cornered."

"Three against one, huh?" Renzou couldn't help but to think of how often that type of thing had happened back home. It was hard to get people to listen to you when you were just one voice among the crowd. "That's the worst. But hey, I'm sure Rin will be fine," he said, hooking his arm around Yukio's shoulders and pulling him back up. "I mean, he got bit by a demon and all he's got to show for it are those ears of his. He seems to have luck on his side, don't ya think?"

Yukio was momentarily confused but then he remembered that dumb story Rin and Ryuuji had told him, the one that they had had to make up on the spot. He did his best to keep his expression even so his confusion and exasperation didn't surface. It was easier to do it since he was pressed so close to Renzou. A heat stirred in his chest.

"His luck is bound to run out at one point." He shifted closer so the arm around him was a bit more comfortable. "Just because he's lucky doesn't mean we should stop being careful. Their carelessness is going to do more harm than good." Yukio's brow furrowed and his fists tightened in his lap. "But… Father's always been on his side, you know? Since I was the only one who could see demons at a young age, my father didn't see the use of putting my brother into cram school as well. So I had to endure the training and the missions and the studying while my brother-" Yukio fell silent. He felt a deep shame from the words he'd just spilled. He hated the resentment that ate away at him. He hated that it existed. He knew why things were the way they were so he shouldn't be feeling this way. And yet the hurt burned away at him.

Renzou tightened his hold on Yukio as he noticed the other's attempt to swallow these feelings away.

"Hey... you don't have to hold back with me, 'member?"

Not for the first time, the pink-haired teen felt a connection with Yukio that struck deep. Hearing the younger teen talk like this reminded him of his own situation.

"There's nothin' wrong with feelin' like this. I mean, it ain't fair. Gettin' dragged into this world like this... Ya shouldn't've had to do this all on your own."  _I wish you'd told me_ , he thought silently, but for the first time, it wasn't out of resentment.

Yukio exhaled and his fists loosened slightly. "But there's a reason things are the way they are… There's no use being upset or calling it unfair. It's not Nii-san's fault and I believe my Father made the right choice in not submitting him to cram school back then." He lifted his hand and lightly grabbed Renzou's fingers on his shoulder. Even as he spoke, he felt somewhat relieved. Feeling like this wasn't wrong. Renzou had said so. Something deep inside Yukio relaxed ever so slightly.

Renzou, however, didn't share his peace of mind.

"Why aren't ya upset?" He sounded equally as frustrated as he was confused. Yukio's quiet acceptance set off something inside of him. "You keep goin' on and on about Rin, but what about you, Yuki-chan?" He couldn't hold back the outburst. Renzou felt a spark in his chest that sent his heart rushing. His fingers dug into Yukio's shoulder, and he felt the heat of the other's fingers seep into his own.

"How's it fair that ya had to do this at all? I mean, I know ya were scared but... This ain't a life ya should just be pushed into!"

Yukio looked at Renzou, once again taken by surprise. There was a passion in his voice that made him grip just a bit tighter to his friend's hand in tandem with those fingers tightening on his shoulder. "I mean…" He frowned, trying to think of a response. It came slowly and awkwardly. But the honesty in those words was hard to deny. "I am upset. But there's no reason for me to be. There wasn't much choice in the matter. Ren-kun, I… I'm proud of who I've become. I'm proud of what I've achieved."  _And yet…_  Yukio pressed his lips together into a thin line.  _It's not enough._

But he couldn't say that. He felt as if he'd said those words, it would be a betrayal to everything he's worked for, everything his father gave him and taught to him. He had worked to become stronger and he  _had_  become stronger. He was still growing. But to come to hate the path he was on was not something he wanted. It was essential to his brother's life and well-being that he became strong…

"... So why do I feel so inadequate…?" Yukio looked down and murmured softly, the words spilling out on their own accord.

There were so many arguments burning in Renzou's throat, all of them ready to come forth like an angry wave crashing against the ocean, but when he heard Yukio's lost whisper, every fiber of his being began ache for an entirely different reason. He hated seeing Yukio looking this miserable.

"Y-Yuki-chan... What're ya sayin'?" The pink-haired teen shook his head. "I might not like what you've had to do to get here, but there's no denyin' that you worked hard for it. There's no reason for ya to be feelin' inadequate." He pressed his lips together and tried to find the right words to comfort his friend. In the end, he settled for an apology. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to blow up on ya earlier," he said with a small sigh.

"This isn't your fault, Ren-kun. You shouldn't be apologizing." Yukio released Renzou's hand in favor of pushing his glasses up against his forehead and pinching the bridge of his nose. He needed to get himself under control. Renzou was getting upset and, though he was making quite the recovery, he still didn't want to dampen his mood.

All of these thoughts were stupid and immature anyway. He shouldn't be having them and it was shameful that he was expressing them. He was loved. He was successful. He had everything he needed. There was no reason to be upset. And yet all the same, there was no denying that searing hurt that sat in his chest like a hot coal. How could he smother it?

"I'm the one who's sorry. I brought up quite the unpleasant topic." Yukio let his glasses fall back on his nose and placed his hands in his lap. He smiled. "Let's do something else."

"You're doin' it again." Renzou was staring at Yukio's smile with a scowl. He pulled back his arm and sat up straight to face Yukio directly. "You're trying to push things off again, even though ya know this bothers ya," he accused.

Yukio's smile turned a bit sour and he sighed. "There isn't much to talk about. Yes, I'm bothered by it and perhaps I am upset but there's no use in dwelling on it when nothing can be done."

It was the same thing he told Shiemi. The same thing he felt when Renzou had touched him so gently. It all stirred emotions in him that bubbled unpleasantly in his chest and gut but change was impossible. So there was no point, right?

"Keepin' it all inside ain't helpful either. It'll eat ya away," Renzou said with a dark scowl.

"Then what should I do? Stress about it until that eats me away instead?" Yukio frowned in return.

Renzou let out an exasperated groan. "The point is that ya should talk to me about it!" he exclaimed. "If ya got somethin' to complain about, complain! Don't just keep it inside! I ain't your brother and I ain't your dad. There's no reason ya should hold back with me, is there?"

_That's awfully hypocritical of you, Ren-kun._

Yukio opened his mouth but then promptly closed it. Renzou had a point and though he longed to say those scathing words, he also longed to end this argument. He hated fighting with Renzou. It was always painful and tiring and he just didn't want to do it. So he swallowed his pride for Renzou's sake.

"I'm sorry." Yukio's fists loosened. He wasn't sure exactly when he had clenched them. "You're the only one I can really talk to and I'd just rather our conversations be more pleasant... But you're right." He looked at Renzou. "You're my best friend. My only friend, in fact. If I can't confide in you, then who else is there?" Yukio frowned and lowered his gaze to his knees again. He felt his confidence grow more firmly in his stomach.

"But you must understand. I can't just spill it. I need time. Time to collect my thoughts and collect my words. I don't want to say anything I'll regret. I owe so much to my father and my brother and I love them both very much. To speak ill of them with such serious intent is... Difficult." Yukio furrowed his eyebrows and sighed heavily. Renzou stared at him, his chest still full of too many conflicting emotions, but they each slowly seeped out of him along with his will to keep arguing. His shoulders slumped as he too stared down at his own lap.

"I'm not gonna push ya into sayin' things ya don't wanna." That wasn't his intention at all. Renzou knew just how difficult speaking up could be, but...

"But ya don't gotta hold back with me," he repeated. "Trust me, okay?"

Yukio looked at his friend and felt his heart clench with a heat so deep it almost hurt. Trust? It was easier said than done. It was all too easy to envision Renzou's attitude turning around completely once he realized who exactly his older brother was. It was so easy to see Renzou turn away from him and abandon him.

_Trust me._

But how? Was Yukio expected to simply throw these horrible visions away and trust in the Renzou who'd touched him so gently when he thought he was asleep? Should he trust in the Renzou that had sent him all those letters, that smiled when he did, that offered him comfort and support? Or should he still grip tightly to that paranoia, that safe pessimism that had kept his brother safe all these years? He didn't know. He didn't know the right answer.

Yukio looked down again, almost afraid that Renzou would see each train of thought in his eyes. But the more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it felt. He was giving credit to those wild nightmares, the ones that plagued him ever since he was a child only in different forms, the ones that he'd trained to let go of. He thought of his brother and his unwavering faith in his friends.

His trust in Renzou.

He closed his eyes. His brother had beaten him again.

"I do, Ren-kun," Yukio murmured, forcefully swallowing down all his childish fears. "I do trust you." He looked back and found Renzou staring at him in return. "Of that, I am sure."

The confession filled Renzou with a rush of warmth that was visible in the depths of his eyes. His somber expression transformed as a small, sincere smile curled around his lips.

"It's about time," he said, his teasing tone masking the severity of how touched he felt. He wondered if Yukio realized how much those words meant to him.

_Thanks, Yuki-chan._


	46. July 4, 2009

"Do you have everything you need, Ren-kun?" Yukio placed the PSP down next to him on the bed. "Your homework is on the desk, should you feel the need to do it as well."

 _Keeping dreamin'._  Renzou stared at Yukio with no small amount of exasperation.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to get out of bed," he said somewhat grumpily.

"Shall I move it closer then?" Yukio asked with a faux innocence.

"Please don't. How about ya let me out of this room instead? Look, I'm all better now!"

"Out of the question." Yukio shook his head. "You stay in bed today. Doctor's orders."

"Yuki-chaaan," Renzou whined. "C'mon, ya can't seriously expect me to be stuck here all day!"

"It's a patient's responsibility to lay down, rest, and get well." Yukio's voice turned stern. "And it's the doctor's responsibility to make sure that happens. It's not like I'm leaving you with nothing to do. It's not as bad as you're making it out to be."

"It's  _terrible_ ," Renzou swore vehemently. "It's a complete tragedy. I mean, this is the last day I get to spend with ya like this, and you're confinin' me to this room? It's—" _my birthday_ , Renzou thought but didn't say aloud, because it had been a long week and if he himself had forgotten about it until he glanced at his phone this morning, he didn't doubt that it had slipped everybody else's mind, "—Saturday and we should go somewhere to have fun!"

"And tomorrow's Sunday." Yukio sighed. "We'll have the entire day tomorrow and I'll be back in a few hours. We'll have dinner together and all will be well and good with the world." A small smile betrayed his lips though Yukio did his best to remain serious. "It'll be  _fine._ "

Renzou opened his mouth to protest this claim, because the situation he found himself in was anything but fine, but the steely glint that flashed through Yukio's glasses told him that no amount of arguing was going to get him out of this. He closed his mouth with a small huff and crossed his arms.

"Ya could at least stick around and hang out with me," he grumbled, admittedly feeling more sullen than he was letting on. He eyed Yukio as he prepared to once again explain that he had work to do, but before the other could begin, Renzou let out a loud sigh and slumped down the bed.

"Fine, fine. I'll stay put. But don't keep me waitin' long, okay?"

"I promise I will finish all I have to do in record time." Yukio patted Renzou's shoulder and picked up their dishes from lunch. He headed for the door, but before he crossed the threshold, he turned back around and looked at the miserable pink-haired teen. "Oh and Ren-kun?"

"...Yeah?"

"Happy birthday."

Renzon sharply glanced up from his PSP, stunned by the unexpected words, and he saw Yukio flash a beaming smile before closing the door behind him. The pink-haired teen stared at the door and soon felt a grin of his own tug at his lips.

 

* * *

 

Yukio did indeed have a busy day ahead for long gone were the years that he spent his best friend's birthday far away from him with nothing to give but a letter and a gift. This year marked the first of something different.

And Yukio wanted to make it special. He hadn't really had time to make previous plans what with the exams and all but he was sure he'd be able to take care of it in the few hours the afternoon and early evening allowed him. He knocked on his brother's door, his first stop on his list of things to do.

"Yukio?" Rin answered the door and looked slightly perplexed at his presence. "What's up?"

"Nii-san… I need you to help me bake a cake." Yukio glanced towards Ryuuji who was heading towards the door with the same curiosity Rin held. "Please," he tacked on at the end.

"A cake?" Rin tilted his head. "I've… I've never made a cake before, actually. Why?"

Yukio tsked. He hadn't expected something like that. But he moved to answer his brother's question as improved plans quickly filled in the blanks. "It's Ren-kun's birthday today. I wanted to surprise him."

"Seriously?!" Rin nearly shouted which caused Yukio to lift his hands and wordlessly ask his brother to lower his voice.

"Yes," Yukio responded as Ryuuji let out a small groan next to Rin.

"Shit. That's today? I completely forgot!" The teen immediately double-checked the date on his phone and the confirmation stared back at him firmly. He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "I gotta run out to an' get him somethin'. What does he even want?" he asked himself before glancing quickly towards Yukio in hopes that he'd know.

"He's resting in my room." Yukio put his hands behind his back with a sigh. "If you'd like to ask him, you can. You can also ask Konekomaru-kun. I'm sure he has an idea." He looked back at his brother, paying no more attention to his wincing classmate. "Why don't we ask Father? He had to have gotten our birthday cakes from somewhere."

"Great idea!" Rin beamed. "And I'll make sure to make an awesome dinner feast to match!"

Yukio's lips lifted into a smile and he mentally crossed dinner off his list. "Thank you, Nii-san!"

 

* * *

 

When Shiro answered the knock on his door and saw his two sons standing side by side, he had flashbacks of their youth.

"Something wrong?" He frowned, looking at them questioningly.

"Not particularly wrong but…" Yukio glanced towards his brother.

"We need to know how to make a birthday cake!" Rin clenched his fists in determination. "Well," he met his brother's eye, "Yukio does."

"Ah… That's right. It's Renzou-kun's birthday, isn't it?" Shiro rubbed his chin. "Hmm. Why don't you two use my computer and I'll give Kita-san a call?" He grinned and the two boys smiled in return.

"Thank you, Father. We won't trouble you for long," Yukio said as Rin burst into the room, making a beeline for the computer.

"You two aren't troubling me. Now get to it."

Shiro was pulling out his phone, a slight smirk on his lips, when another voice piped up.

"Who's Kita-san?" Konekomaru asked as he peeked into the room. Behind him was Ryuuji. They had run into the smaller teen on their way to Shiro's room, and Ryuuji had stopped to speak with him in the hallway for a couple of minutes. Now, the two were hesitantly lingering at the doorway. Shiro blinked once upon spotting them before allowing them in as well.

"Oh, she owns a bakery nearby where we lived. I got their cakes from her so she can probably give us a couple tips." Shiro looked at his sons to see that Yukio had taken the chair and was typing into the keyboard. Rin was hovering over his shoulder, telling him what to search for.

"So what are you two gonna do?" he asked, glancing back at the other two teens.

"I wanted to see if I could help out with something," Konekomaru said as he glanced between the twins and their father.

"Same." Ryuuji gave an absent nod of agreement. He was still somewhat preoccupied about the present situation.

"Well, we should probably ask the party planner." Shiro gave the twins another glance as he dialed Kita's phone number. "Yukio, Konekomaru-kun and Ryuuji-kun want to know if there's anything they can do."

Yukio looked back towards them. "Well, the dinner and cake are going to be taken care of..." He thought for a moment. "We could use decorations?"

"Make them really cool!" Rin beamed, clearly beside himself with excitement for the party.

"We'll do our best," Konekomaru said, looking a little excited himself.

"Yeah. Just leave it to us!" Ryuuji, no longer lost in his own thoughts, gave his best friend a promising grin. "We'll head out to get materials then," he said, putting his hand on Konekomaru's shoulder. The shorter boy curiously looked up at the touch and met Ryuuji's sheepish grin. "And maybe ya can help me with Shima's present?" he added hopefully.

Konekomaru's eyes filled with understanding. "Sure. Let's not waste any time then."

"We'll catch up with ya guys later!" Ryuuji said as the two headed out of the room.

"Have a safe trip!" Rin waved.

"Safe trip," Yukio agreed distractedly, not tearing his eyes away from the computer as he pulled up a promising recipe.

"Let me know if you two need extra cash," Shiro called after them before taking his hand off the phone's mouthpiece. "Kita-san! Hey, how are you doing?"

As his father talked to the baker on the phone, Yukio read through the recipe with his brother hovering over his shoulder again. He realized baking a cake wouldn't be that hard. It was just a matter of following the recipe and using the correct measurements.

"What do you think, Nii-san?" Yukio looked at Rin whose eyes were flitting over the screen.

"Seems kinda boring, don't you think?" He eyed the simple recipe. "We should make something bigger."

Yukio furrowed his eyebrows. The cake  _was_  simple but... "We shouldn't go too far past our skill level and risk destroying the whole thing," he reprimanded.

"But this is for Renzou, right? It's his birthday!" Rin's voice held a scolding tone that was quite formidable when paired up against Yukio's. "Don't skimp out on important stuff like this."

The young exorcist flushed slightly and adjusted his glasses. "Yes... Yes, you're right. This is the first time I'm able to celebrate Ren-kun's birthday with him in person. I just want it to be perfect."

"Which is why we need a super awesome cake!" Rin said brightly and Yukio found his enthusiasm a tad infectious and just a little draining.

"Very well. Let's find a better recipe." Yukio nodded. But as they began looking for different recipes, a pen cap got tossed at the back of Rin's head.

"Hey!" He turned around with a huff to find their father writing on a piece of paper and speaking into the phone.

"Uh-huh..." Shiro pinned the phone between his shoulder and his ear and beckoned the two of them over with one hand as he continued writing with the other. "Powdered, right..."

The two got up from the computer and leaned over the page to see that what was being written was a cake recipe. It was more complex than the one they'd just abandoned but still, as Yukio looked over the instructions written in his father's scrawl, he figured it should be simple enough.

"Alright, thanks so much, Kita-san. I'll call back if there's any trouble." Shiro placed the pen down and hung up the phone. "We'll have to give her something nice next time we see her."

"Agreed." Yukio picked up the page and finished reading through it. "This seems doable. We can pull this off."

"'Course we can!" Rin, ever the ray of sunshine, bounded off towards the exit. "Let's go! We'll get all the stuff we need so we can start the cooking!"

"Don't just run off, Nii-san! We should make a list before anything!" Yukio jogged after him.

Shiro leaned back on his desk and smiled softly, watching his two sons disappear out the door. He took a deep breath and his shoulders relaxed.

"Oh, Father?"

Shiro blinked and looked back up to see Yukio peeking his head through the door. "What is it?"

"I have one more favor to ask."

 

* * *

 

Renzou glanced at his phone.  _2:28 PM_ , it read. The pink-haired teen frowned and turn his attention back to his PSP.

Three minutes later, he glanced at his phone again. He could've sworn at least ten minutes had passed.

"This is torture," he confirmed aloud to no one. He sighed, put his PSP into sleep mode, and let it rest on the chair that was next to his bed before rolling around until his face was pressed up against his pillow. A muffled groan escaped him.

 _I'm boooooored_ , he thought.

Feeling even more annoyed at the fact that his injuries stung in this position, Renzou turned around to lie on his back again. The ceiling was an unwelcome sight. He scowled at it and resisted the urge to scratch his face, blindly reaching out for his phone instead. With his arm outstretched in front of him, he found himself scrolling down his list of favorite contacts.

**_Yuki-chan_ **

His best friend's name was the first on the list. Renzou wondered what Yukio was up to today. Was he really working?  _He's totally up to somethin', isn't he?_

A warm sensation curled around his stomach at the possibilities behind that thought. Renzou smiled slightly and his thumb hovered over the OK button as he contemplated texting his best friend. After a second, he merely continued to scroll down the list. He passed by Rin's name and only stopped when he reached his parents.

**_Pops_ **

**_Ma_ **

Below them, the names of his siblings followed. Renzou's smile fell for just a moment as he remembered that his family hadn't contacted him today. This didn't exactly surprise him, because it wasn't the first time that his birthday had slipped off their mind, but he had expected at least some of his siblings to message him by now. While Yumi didn't have a cell phone yet, his older siblings did, and they were usually good about this sort of thing.

 _Guess they're busy…_  he thought, trying not to feel too bad about it. It would be easier, of course, if he wasn't stuck in this room with no one else but his thoughts for company. Renzou sighed and continued going down the list. Next up were Konekomaru and Bon. He wondered what they were up to right now. Bon was probably with Rin. Renzou thought about texting Konekomaru to see if he could come over to keep him company, but then his eyes caught sight of the last name on his list.

**_Akane_ **

Renzou grimaced and his expression became a little more tired.  _Haven't contacted her in a while_ , he realized. He had warned her that he'd be busy this week, but he'd completely neglected her these past couple of days. His recent realizations made him feel uncomfortable about it all. They've been going out for two months now... That was long enough for things to start getting serious; longer than Renzou was used to dating anyone. He needed to break up with her before this dragged on for any longer. Still… despite his experience with breakups, he couldn't say he was looking forward to doing this again.

"Gah."

Renzou let his arm drop back on the bed. His phone rolled away a couple of inches from his fingers. He considered picking up his PSP again but he wasn't in the mood to play. His eyes darted up and he gave the desk, and the homework lying on top of it, a considering look.

 _I ain't that desperate,_ he assured himself. He tried not to think about how he  _was_ feeling kind of desperate.

A few more minutes passed in restless silence. Renzou scratched the tip of his nose absently and winced, immediately regretting it. He quickly arranged himself so his hands were trapped under his head, and then he was staring at the ceiling again. Boredom crept up on him, worse than a bad itch. He wondered if Yukio would notice him sneaking out for a bit.

_It ain't like there's anywhere I wanna go… Still, I'm gonna go nuts stayin' here._

This was, ironically enough, reminding him of the time his mom had grounded him for a week. He'd been stuck in his room just like this, with nothing else to do but homework and no way of escaping. He did have a way now though. Ignoring the very amusing image of Yukio in his mom's clothes, scowling down at him, flash across his mind, Renzou grinned and soon made his way towards the closet. He spent quite a bit of time searching for the key ring he kept in his school pants, but he couldn't find it anywhere. Any other day, this would've sent him into panic. At the moment, he had the creeping suspicion that Yukio was behind this. After a couple of more minutes of searching the room, Renzou gave Yukio's side of the room a dry look before slipping on a hoodie.

_Front door it is then._

Renzou reached for the doorknob, pulled the door open, and he was about to step out when he encountered a problem.

"Meow!"

"Oh, you've gotta be kiddin' me!"

 

* * *

 

With two key rings in his pocket and Tamiko guarding his bedroom door, Yukio was able to focus on the party plans without worry of Renzou escaping. And considering the fact that he was out shopping with his brother, he needed all the attention span he could muster. After ensuring that his brother didn't go crazy with the food shopping, they returned to the dorm and set up their prospective stations in the kitchen with Ukobach's help.

The cake would be going into the oven first since it needed to cool so the frosting wouldn't melt. Meanwhile, the stovetop belonged to Rin and the dinner he was currently prepping.

Yukio stared at his ingredients and looked at the recipe his father had written down for him. The oven was preheating and now all he had to do was make the batter. That would be easy enough. He took a deep breath and reached out to start measuring the ingredients when his phone beeped in his pocket. He blinked and quickly pulled out his phone.

_[Not cool, man. Not cool]_

Yukio snickered into his hand and was suddenly very pleased he'd had the idea to station Tamiko at his door. Without her, Renzou would have surely escaped and seen the party before it was finished. He felt a little sorry for locking Renzou up in the small bedroom but he knew it had to be done. If he wanted to plan this surprise party, his best friend would need to be contained.

_[If you're bored, remember you have your homework to do.]_

He sent the reply, already anticipating the return text. Yukio placed his phone on the counter as he measured out the sugar. He just finished when his phone started beeping again, signaling the arrival of Renzou's reply.

_[You're evil. Hurry up and finish whatever you're doing]_

Yukio smirked and his finger hovered over the reply button but before he could press it, Rin's hand tapped his shoulder.

"Put away the phone already. You're gonna mess up if you don't focus, yanno." Rin placed his hands on his hips.

"Oh, right. Of course." Yukio had to admit his brother was right. And of course he was. After all, the kitchen was Rin's territory. So Yukio tucked his phone away into his pocket and put his full focus into making the cake. It was easy enough to make the batter and beat out the lumps that formed in the process. After that, Rin showed him how to grease the cake pans and helped him pour the batter evenly into each one. Then it was into the oven.

Yukio was pretty pleased with himself as the oven door clicked shut. He placed the timer on his phone and returned to look at the recipe as Rin began mixing spices into ground beef.

The frosting was going to be the hard part. It seemed like the whipping of the cream had to be done a certain way or else it wouldn't get stiff. He took a deep breath, deciding to start that after the cakes finished baking so the frosting would be done by the time it finished cooling.

"Hey, we're back!"

Ryuuji and Konekomaru entered the cafeteria at that moment, carrying a few plastic bags between them. They set them down on the table, and while Konekomaru started unloading their purchases, Ryuuji wandered off in the direction of the kitchen, peeking in through the open partition.

"What's on the menu?" he asked Rin.

"Chicken karaage, hamburger steak, and plenty of fried rice!" Rin beamed.

Yukio was smiling slightly as well. The menu sounded good, something they could all enjoy. As usual, his brother had a talent in the kitchen. He looked towards Ryuuji. "And what did you guys get?" He craned his neck slightly to look over Ryuuji's bulky shoulder.

"Uh, just the usual stuff. Party poppers, balloons... We're makin' a banner too."

"We got candles," Konekomaru piped up as he set a large stack of colored papers on the table. "We weren't sure if you guys had some."

"Oh right. Ya guys got scissors 'round here?"

The teens quickly began to get the preparations under way. Ryuuji and Konekomaru were in charge of constructing paper chains to hang on the walls. Yukio took over the task of making the banner as he waited for the cake to bake. They all worked in relative silence, with only Rin humming quietly in the background as he cooked.

"Oh!"

Heads swiveled to stare at Shiemi who was standing still at the doorway of the cafeteria. The blonde girl looked around the room in surprise. "What are you all doing?"

"Oh, Shiemi-san." Yukio smiled a bit at the sight of her. "It's Ren-kun's birthday today so we're throwing a party for him." He stretched out the half-finished banner so she could see.

"You should join us, Shiemi!" Rin leaned out of the partition's window before Ukobach's mewling called him back towards the stove.

Izumo walked in behind Shiemi with Paku beside her and furrowed her brow. "We're throwing a party for him? We didn't do one for Paku when it was her birthday," she muttered hotly.

Ryuuji shot Izumo an irritated glare, but Paku spoke up before he could.

"Izumo-chan," she scolded, placing a hand on her friend's arm. "It's not their fault they didn't know. We didn't say anything. I think it's nice that they're doing this."

"Whatever." Izumo was clearly placated, however, by Paku's soft words.

"We're throwing a... a birthday party?" Shiemi echoed the words as a delighted smile spread across her face. "What can I help with? Is there anything you need? Oh! And what about presents?" The blonde paused then, suddenly worried.

"You don't need to worry about presents," Yukio assured her. "I'm sure Ren-kun wouldn't mind, but…" He rubbed his chin. What could Shiemi do to help? He glanced around the cafeteria and looked at the tables. They seemed a bit bare… "Actually… Shiemi, could you make a centerpiece for the table? We could use some nice flowers to brighten up the place. Nii could help." His smile grew with the idea. Yes, it seemed like a perfect idea.

"Sure thing!" she said excitedly.

"Yukio! The timer went off!"

"Ah!" Yukio stood up and glanced between the rest of the group. "I'll leave the rest in your hands."

"We'll take care of things," Konekomaru assured him.

Yukio headed to the kitchen and glanced back. The decorations were as good as done. One look at Rin told him that dinner was in good hands. The only part left was the cake, which was his job. Yukio took a deep breath and grabbed the oven mitts. He opened the door and leaned back a bit as the heat flooded out and fogged up his glasses. He felt a weight on his shoulder as he leaned in and took out the two cake pans. He saw Ukobach lean into his peripheral vision and smell the cake with an appreciative mewl before he hopped down and closed the oven door.

He placed the cake pans down on the counter before taking off his glasses and waving them in the air a couple times to remove the fog. Yukio put them back on and looked at the two layers of cake with a proud smile.

They didn't look too bad…

 

* * *

 

_5:00 PM._

Renzou still hadn't done his homework, but he  _had_ managed to get Tamiko to quit standing outside the door. Currently, she was curled up on his lap, napping peacefully. Renzou's plan to coax her inside had backfired on him.

 _I should've just tried my chances with the window…_ Renzou had considered the idea too extreme earlier, but the more time passed, the more the pink-haired teen wished that he had gone through with it. Now, with Tamiko impeding his movement, Renzou had no choice but to continue waiting this out. 

He glanced down at his phone again.

_5:01 PM._

Time continued to tick by slowly, though Renzou felt more resigned now than desperate. He finished folding another paper flower, set it aside, and started on a new one. The routine calmed him. He successfully resisted the urge to pick up his phone. Yukio hadn't contacted him since the last time they'd talked and Konekomaru hadn't written anything back for over an hour yet either. Everyone was busy today it seemed. Everyone except him—

His phone vibrated suddenly, startling him. Tamiko nestled closer, undisturbed, and Renzou automatically reached down to run his thumb down her neck as he reached for his phone with his other hand.

_[Hey, squirt. Happy birthday! Hope ur having a good one! <333]_

His eyes lit up as he read Jun's message. Renzou sent back a quick reply and allowed himself to smile.

_She remembered._

A part of him that he didn't want to acknowledge couldn't help but to feel happy, however fleetingly. Generally, he tried not to think about his family much; an easy task given that Konekomaru had taken over the duties of calling back home weekly. He wouldn't call the relationship he had with Jun a close one either; she had been living on her own for a while now and didn't visit home enough. Still, he'd always admired her, and she always did things like this that made him drop his guard. Made him smile.

Renzou stared at his phone for a while more, rereading his sister's short message with a fainter smile as he leaned back on his chair. His arm was stretched out in front of him and his neck was craned back as it rested on the wooden frame. This was how Yukio found him two minutes later.

The teen sighed softly at the sight of his best friend trapped underneath the sleeping cat sith. "So did you get any homework done?" he asked, walking forward with a small smile on his lips. He already knew the answer, but he couldn't help voicing the teasing question.

"You wish," Renzou quipped, hiding a small snort. He stretched his neck back a bit further and followed Yukio's movements with his eyes. "Are ya done doin' whatever ya were up to?"

"Yes, actually." Yukio walked over and bent down. He petted Tamiko's head and she woke up with a stretch and a yawn. He took a long strip of fabric out of his pocket. "I'm here to come get you. Come on. Up." He straightened and Tamiko bounded off the teen's lap and out the door.

Renzou got up. He glanced at the cloth on Yukio's hands questioningly.

"Don't ask questions." Yukio warned and lifted the cloth. "And close your eyes." The blindfold was placed over Renzou's eyes. The taller of the two made quick work of tying it in the back.

"Seriously?" Renzou asked immediately. A small grin threatened to surface and it was hard to hold it back. After spending so many hours by himself, Yukio's return made him giddy. His friend's actions also confirmed some of the suspicions he had about his absence today. "What's this about?"

"What did I say about questions?" Despite the stern tone, there was a smile heard in Yukio's voice. "Now follow me. We're going on a trip."

"Where to?"

Yukio didn't answer. He grabbed both of Renzou's hands and began to lightly tug him towards the door of the bedroom.

"Yuki-chaaan…" Renzou whined but he allowed himself to be led to wherever Yukio was taking him. His excitement and curiosity helped him gloss over the fact that Yukio's hands were on him, touching him. He tried to figure out where they were headed, which wasn't too hard considering they were walking down the stairs. Their footsteps were muted but still audible over the dim noise of the dorms. Renzou could hear someone chattering in the distance but he couldn't make out who was speaking.

"Almost there." Yukio's voice was a bit louder than normal and the distant chattering halted immediately. He released one of Renzou's hands, a door creaked open, and Yukio continued pulling him forward. "Okay, right here. Don't move." Yukio let go of the remaining hand and moved behind him. The blindfold was untied, the cloth fell, and the small crowd of students, and their party poppers, exploded.

"Happy birthday!" What followed the greeting were several variations of "Shima," "Shima-san," and one loud "Renzou" from Rin. Small bits of confetti rained down and littered the floor. The cafeteria was decorated with a banner that was clearly handmade, displaying the greeting that was just previously shouted. The table the students were gathered around had plates of steaming food sitting in the center with pink and violet flowers decorating each platter. The centerpiece was covered in larger flowers and Nii bounced happily amongst the plants, joining in the shout with his own happy cries.

Renzou's jaw fell. He stared at the sight in front of him, eyes wide and astonished. His gaze darted from the banner, to the table, and then to each individual face that was staring back at him. Everyone was here… it wasn't just Yukio, nor just their small circle of friends. It was his whole class… all of them. Renzou's mind was somewhat slow to register what he was seeing, but a low, foreign heat was already blossoming in his chest nonetheless. He could feel Yukio's presence standing right behind him and it took every ounce of his willpower to stop himself from turning around, burying his face into Yukio's neck, and hugging him tightly.

He swallowed.

"W-Wow," he said once he finally found his voice. A delighted grin was already spreading on his face. "Thanks, guys. I wasn't—um, I wasn't expectin' this. Wow, ya shouldn't've."

"Nii-san." Yukio's quiet voice came from beside him as he took a step up.

"Right!" Rin's eyes lit up and he reached behind him on the part of the table that was hidden by the small crowd. He rushed over with a yellow paper crown which he plopped right on Renzou's head with a bright grin. "There we go, birthday boy! Now let's eat before the food gets cold!"

"I hope you're hungry." Yukio put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

Renzou met his eyes and though he didn't think he could grin any wider, he did.

"Ya kiddin'? I'm starvin'!"

He was exaggerating, but still, Renzou was more than happy to sit at the table and pile up his plate with Rin's cooking. Everything looked and smelled delicious. He couldn't stop glancing around the room to take it all in. All this effort... He'd felt pretty neglected this afternoon, but Renzou couldn't say he minded anymore. He was still surprised, but beneath that was a sense of contentment that he wasn't used to experiencing.

The atmosphere at the table was light. Even the girls seemed to be enjoying themselves, though Izumo spoke more with Paku, sharing only a few words with Shiemi, who was enthusiastically joining their conversation nonetheless. As a result, the boys kept to themselves, talking, laughing, with Rin boasting happily about the food and the crown he'd made. At one point, even Shiro had dropped by. He tapped Renzou's shoulder and waved an envelope in front of his face.

"Happy birthday." There was a grin on Shiro's face. "I spoke to the teachers and this is a gift from all of us."

Renzou didn't waste any time and took a peek inside the envelope. There was a homework pass inside that made the pink-haired teen momentarily speechless.

"Sensei _,_  you're the _best!_ " he swore enthusiastically.

Shiro chuckled. "Now, it's only got one use and it can't be used for the big projects but regular homework is good. You'll get the full mark."

"Lucky!" Rin leaned over the table with a whine.

"Any chance of ya ever issuin' one for tests?" Renzou asked in a hopeful tone.

The pink-haired teen simultaneously received a hearty laugh from his teacher and a light elbow to his side from Yukio who was sitting beside him.

"No such luck, Renzou-kun." Shiro patted his shoulder.

"Oh, well. Worth a try." Renzou shrugged shamelessly. He gave the older man a wide grin and tucked the envelope in his shirt pocket. "Thanks, sensei!"

When dinner was done, Konekomaru was the next one to hand him a present. Inside the small, brightly wrapped box was a three-piece phone charm. The charms that hung off the thin silver chain were a pink flower, a kitten, and the symbol for karma. Renzou teased Konekomaru for the sentimental touch, but he attached it to his phone right away. Ryuuji was next, and Renzou smiled at the shirt he'd bought. Bon knew his taste well.

"Hey, Yukio, go get yours!" Rin bounced excitedly in his seat.

Yukio flushed lightly and looked around at everyone's empty plates. "Very well..." He stood up and headed to the kitchen. It took a few moments for Yukio to return and Rin shifted a couple platters to make space.

The cake that Yukio set down wasn't large but it was a good enough size for their group. The frosting was colored pink and, while strawberries were meticulously placed around the edge, the frosting itself was not even all around. There were several candles at the top.

"I... made it," Yukio murmured, putting his hands behind his back.

"All by himself!" Rin beamed with pride.

"Nii-san...!" Yukio hissed, the stubborn flush in his cheeks only growing darker by the second.

Renzou's eyes darted from the cake to Yukio's face. Rin's words caused his mouth fell open a little. "Yuki-chan made this?"

His voice came out quiet, a mere murmur audible only to himself. Renzou was overcome with the desire to hug Yukio again. Cooking was Rin's thing, everyone knew that. He'd been sending sweets to them over the mail since they were kids. Renzou hadn't expected Yukio to ever try his hand at it—an old letter came to mind, reminding him of Yukio's distaste for it—and yet here, in front of him, was Yukio's first creation, dedicated to him... to Renzou.

"Pink, huh?" There was a warm smile on Renzou's lips. The familiar color reminded him of many fond memories. "Thanks, Yuki-chan."

Yukio's gaze slid back to him and a small smile twitched across his lips which he hid immediately with hand over his mouth and a soft cough.

"W-Well then. Shall we try it out?" He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and flicked it on. As he lit the candles, Rin jogged into the kitchen and came out with plates and a knife to cut the cake.

The group, minus Izumo, gathered a little closer as Yukio lowered himself beside Renzou.

"Make a wish, Ren-kun."

At this moment, Renzou couldn't think of a single thing that he wanted to wish for. His heart was swollen with a thousand desires.

 _I wish this moment would never end,_  he thought as he glanced at Yukio out of the corner of his eye. _I wish you'd never leave my side._

Renzou leaned forward slightly and closed his eyes. Colors swam in the back of his eyelids, but it was Yuki-chan's face that he was thinking of, it was Yuki-chan who he was seeing with his mind's eye.

 _I wish..._  he thought.

At the center of all his desires was a common link. Renzou blew out the candles thinking of one thing only.

 

* * *

 

After the boisterous celebration, the quiet of Yukio's room seemed muted. Rin, Ryuuji, and Konekomaru were taking care of the clean up while Yukio had taken Renzou upstairs to get his bandages changed.

"I did get you an actual present. You know, besides the cake." Yukio walked towards the bed and sat beside Renzou. In one hand, he had his bag of medical supplies and in another, a small wrapped rectangle. Renzou was able to tell, just by looking at the shape, that it was a PSP game.

"Here." Yukio handed it to him before placing the bag on the bed and opening it up.

"Thanks." Renzou turned the present over in his hands. He didn't open it yet, quietly watching Yukio work instead. He fiddled with the tape holding the wrapping paper together.

"Really," he continued, needing to get the words out. "All of this... Ya didn't have to go through all this trouble, but I'm real happy ya did. Today was great... even if ya did lock me in your room for a few hours." He chuckled.

"Ah, yes." Yukio smiled a bit bashfully as he pulled out a tube of ointment and new bandages. "I am sorry about that but at the time I didn't see any other choice. I wanted to keep the party a surprise and it was really the only way to keep you away during the set up."

"Ya didn't hafta steal my keys," Renzou complained half-heartedly.

"The fact that you noticed the keys were gone means I was right to do so." Yukio reached into his pocket and held Renzou's key ring out, dangling it on the tip of his finger.

"I could've still escaped, ya know. Next year, I'll try harder." Now that the teasing challenge was out there, Renzou shook his head with amusement and snatched the keys back. He had a smile on his lips when he pocketed them.

There was a momentary silence as they fell into the routine that had been established over the past few days. Yukio reached forward and gently pulled off bandages from Renzou's face, inspecting his injuries and applying ointment to the fading burns.

"You're looking much better," Yukio commented, gently dabbing small bits of ointment on the rashed skin. "I think by Monday, you won't need the bandages anymore."

"That's a relief," Renzou said, voice going quiet as he closed his eyes and held still. His skin tickled uncomfortably under the thin, cool layer of the ointment, but his attention was held by Yukio's fingers as they skidded down his face, his touch light and gentle.

He breathed quietly, letting himself enjoy the treatment. Yukio was always taking care of him. Ever since they were kids... even now, after everything, he was still here, at his side. Renzou didn't want that to ever change.

But.

_But._

As he sat quietly in Yukio's room, Renzou couldn't hold the feeling in anymore. Yuki-chan made him so happy. He was still awed by all the effort his best friend had spent today just for him. He was grateful too, but beyond that was an emotion he couldn't quite describe. He knew what it was though. He'd come to terms with it.

"Yuki-chan..." The soft word slipped out unbidden. Renzou's eyes peered open and he gazed up into Yukio's familiar green eyes. He took in a slight breath and felt his heart stutter. The echo of his wish lingered on the back of his mind.

He recalled Shiemi's words to Yukio and found a courage in himself that he wasn't used to acknowledging. He didn't want to run away anymore, not from Yuki-chan. Renzou's back straightened up and his lips parted. Yukio's fingers were pulling away, but Renzou reached up to hold his wrist in place.

"Thanks," he told him first, holding his gaze steadily. That was important. He wanted Yukio to know how much he appreciated him. Renzou watched as Yukio's eyes widened in surprise as the mood between them shifted. His thumb brushed against the other's pulse slightly as he wondered how to tell him, how to say this…

His eyes lit up as the words came to him.

"Hey, do ya remember when we were kids and ya asked me what I wanted to do with my life? What my dream was?" A small smile touched Renzou's lips as he thought of the old letter. It was one of their firsts, but it had stuck with him for a long time. He'd never forgotten it. "I didn't have much of an answer then. I still don't now, honestly. I've always been the type to go with the flow. But..." Renzou's thumb stilled and his grip on Yukio's wrist tightened a little. He stared deep into Yukio's eyes, feeling his throat tighten. "Somethin's changed though," he whispered. "We changed, but despite it all, we're still here, and I... I fell in love. With you."

The words were out there. Renzou couldn't believe he'd said them. His heart was leaping up to his throat and suddenly he found himself unable to hold Yukio's gaze. His eyes dropped to stare at the other's chest instead, but he didn't let of Yukio's wrist. He didn't think he'd be able to.

In a way, Yukio was happy Renzou averted his eyes because he wasn't sure if he had the strength to school his expression. He didn't even know what kind of expression he was making. He'd expected something. He knew what Renzou felt for him and he'd recently come to terms with his own feelings for his best friend, but... he hadn't expected this.

_Love._

The word sounded so right and Yukio had never been more terrified. He wanted to rip his hand out from Renzou's grip and face an army of demons rather than to continue sitting there and face this any longer. Unfortunately, the barriers around the campus prevented said army of demons from approaching. So Yukio had nowhere to run.

How hard was his heart pounding? Were his ribs aching because of that or was he breathing a bit too quickly? Yukio averted his eyes to the wall beside the bed, staring his wide teal eyes to the drab shade of paint. An ant crawled up the wall, oblivious to the storm that was occurring in that very room, and Yukio was aware that time was moving. He had to say something. But what?

"R...Ren-kun..." Yes, the name seemed like a good place to start. But where to go from there? Yukio swallowed. His throat was dry and his voice was coming out in a cracked rasp. "Ren-kun, I..." What?

_What?_

Yukio shook his head furiously. "I just... I need a moment... I need to..." He twisted his hand slightly in Renzou's tight grip, but the fingers didn't budge. He felt trapped.

Several thoughts rushed through his head, all with equal and alarming intensity. He was aware of the choice before him. He either rejected Renzou's feelings and lost his best friend or he accepted and became something more, something that Yukio was aware wasn't a good idea. He was forced to think of the complications.

He'd already lied so much to Renzou; he was still lying to Renzou. He wasn't trusting him as much as he probably should have and yet he'd reassured him only yesterday that he did. Yukio's breath hitched and quickened all at once. Opening himself more to the teen in front of him, giving Renzou more pieces of his heart to accompany the large portion he already owned... It was surely a recipe for disaster.

_It's not fair..._

Yukio wanted to cry. He brought up his free hand, tucking his fingers underneath his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose roughly, hoping in some way to halt the tears before they got near his eyes.

_It's not fair...!_

It had always been just him, his father, and his brother. Just them three. That circle was all they needed to protect their small little family and to keep his older brother in the center of safety. There was never any reason to let anyone else in. Renzou had always toed that line, but his ignorance about his brother's true identity kept him on the outside. But now, Renzou was attempting to erase the line completely.

Love.

Yukio knew that he loved Renzou in return, but he couldn't. God, he couldn't. Not with his brother still in danger, not with their life the way they were, not with this lingering doubt, this terrible, crippling doubt...

_"The written exam."_

Yukio's eyes snapped open.

_“If all of you pass the Meister exam together, I’ll consider you a team.”_

There was a third choice. Time. He would let time make the choice.

He let his glasses fall back on his nose and he looked at Renzou, watching his posture, his averted gaze, and finally on the fingers gripping so tightly to his wrist.

"Ren-kun..." he whispered and reached up towards his hand. "Let go for a second." Yukio placed his hand lightly on Renzou's fingers. "Please."

Renzou swallowed. Yukio's touch caused his grip to falter and he felt something inside of him go too as his arm slowly fell back to his side. That wasn't a yes. A part of him understood that response. Yukio didn't make decisions lightly and this had been a sudden revelation.

But that voice...

Renzou's stomach twisted in knots, recognizing the hint of rejection. Clenching his jaw, he forced himself to look up and steeled himself. Told himself it was alright. It would be, just as long as Yukio still stayed. Just as long as things between them stayed the same.

(He wanted him to say yes—to say yes and reciprocate. He'd thought... He'd hoped...

He didn't think he'd ever wanted anything this badly.)

But before the hand completely fell to the bed, it was caught. Yukio looked down as he lightly held Renzou's wrist. And then, slowly, tenderly, his free hand slid over his palm and he twined their fingers together. Before he said anything, he needed Renzou to know... He needed him to know that he felt the same. Yukio wondered if it was a mistake, he wondered if he shouldn't have done it... But it was done. All that was left to do was to speak.

He squeezed Renzou's hand gently between his palms.

"Ren-kun..." He started slowly, trying to string together the correct words in the correct order. "You... mean so much to me as I'm sure you already know. However I... I, too..." He closed his mouth, unable to utter the word currently forbidden to him. Yukio passed his thumb over Renzou's and his intertwined fingers, hoping that alone would convey the message he was trying to say without actually saying it.

"But." Yukio looked towards Renzou's eyes, forced himself to see the fear and hoped that his next words would evaporate what he saw in his friend's eyes. "But I can't. Not right now. Not yet. This... isn't a no. But it's not a yes either."

"What?" Renzou mouthed, staring at Yukio incomprehensibly. The words were slow to register, but when they filtered through, a rush of wonder, of relief and hope and warmth coursed through him.

_"Not yet."_

The only thing keeping him grounded was Yukio's hand curled around his own. "Seriously?" he whispered. "What... What does that mean? When? Why? Really?" He felt breathless. His fingers squeezed Yukio's hand tight. "Ya mean it?"

"Yes." Yukio struggled not to slump over with relief. Things were turning out seemingly much better than expected. He felt the squeeze of Renzou's fingers and his own squeezed back. "I wouldn't joke around with something as serious as this. Something as serious as you."  _Oh that was terrible._  Yukio glanced away, trying not to grimace and doing his best to keep his confidence.

"As for when, the written exam." He looked back at Renzou, whose eyes were wide and cheeks flushed. Yukio wondered for a split second, what would he do if his brother failed to follow through? He dismissed the thought almost immediately. If his brother was one thing, it was determined. Ryuuji wouldn't let him fail. And his father had approved it. Maybe this wasn't so farfetched after all. Yukio's resolve only strengthened further. After every thought, his conclusion only seemed more sure. More right. "Once you've passed the written exam for your Meister, I see no need to hold back."

Renzou was nonplussed by the odd response. His brow creased as he tried to puzzle it out. "That's the weirdest requirement ever. What's happenin' after the written exam?" As soon as the words left him, Renzou calculated how much time they had left before the exams and his priorities immediately shifted. "Wait, that's six months from now!" he protested.

"The decision has been made, Ren-kun." Yukio frowned sternly. He then sighed, immediately regretting his choice of words. "I thought about it seriously and I won't budge. That's as soon as I'll go." A small smile returned to his lips. "Wouldn't want to distract you from your studies, after all. Think of it as motivation."

"You—wha—this is definitely goin' to be a distraction, ya know!" Renzou's mind raced. This entire moment felt so surreal, but it was actually happening. Yukio... Yukio felt the same way. This was the best birthday present he could've ever received.

Well, hearing a yes would've been even better, but for Yukio? Renzou could wait.

For now, this was enough.

"Fine." Renzou squeezed Yukio's hand again, the gesture a promise and a reminder. "I'll wait for ya, Yuki-chan. But ya know..."

The movement was at first hesitant, but Renzou wasn't sure he'd get the chance to get this close again. He reached forward, keeping his eyes steady on Yukio, and let his other hand inch closer until his fingers were softly cradling Yukio's cheek. The skin was hot under his touch. Renzou smiled.

"I'm gonna have a hard time keepin' away from ya though."

Yukio's face colored pink and he glanced away, not moving his head so as not to dislodge the hand on his cheek. This touch was much more intimate, much more confident, than the one that had brushed against his lips that night a few days ago.

"I know you can manage." His fingers were tight around Renzou's and his thumb continued their journey across the warm skin. Then he remembered and Yukio's gaze returned to meet the other's. He frowned. "And what will you do about Akane? You can't keep leading her on."

Renzou winced. His hand lingered on Yukio's cheek for a moment longer before he let it fall once more.

"I won't. Even before this, I was already thinkin' of endin' things. It... wasn't serious between us." He offered Yukio an apologetic smile. "Think she knew it, too. I was never fully able to get ya outta my head."

Yukio flushed again and sighed. "What a mess we've found ourselves in." He offered Renzou a gentle smile and gave his hand a final squeeze. "Let me finish putting on your bandages."

Renzou felt Yukio's hand pull away and he reluctantly let him. As Yukio grabbed the bandages again and let routine guide his movements, the pink-haired teen couldn't help but to lean in to the touch now that he could. They were softer than usual and Yukio couldn't help but let his fingers linger a bit longer than usual, especially as Renzou chased a bit after them. But that was as far as they got, as far as he would allow.

When Yukio was done, Renzou got up and the present Yukio had given him fell off his lap and onto the floor.

"Oh, right." He bent down to pick it up and tore the wrapping paper off. His eyes lit up as he saw what was inside.

"Ya got me Monster Hunter? Sweet!"


	47. July 14, 2009 (Morning)

"Hey, scoot."

Yukio looked up as Renzou nudged his shoulder with a loose hand. He gave him a quick smile and moved over into the seat next to the window. Blurred greens of trees and vegetation flashed past but Yukio's gaze didn't linger on them for long. He instead looked at his friend who settled in beside him in the aisle seat.

"Nervous?" he asked, twisting a bit in the seat so he could face him.

"About the mission? Eh, I guess." Renzou shrugged. "I mean we're facin' imps. Compared to our last exam, how much worse could it be?"

"Oh? Well I'm glad you're so optimistic." Yukio chuckled softly, letting one hand rest on his lap while the other laid on the table in front of them.

Renzou huffed. "The only thing  _I'm_  glad for right now is that Yunokawa-sensei's done with his lecture. Just when I thought we'd have a day off...!" He shook his head, pausing only to shoot Yukio a glance. A secretive smile crossed his lips. "Ya know, I was totally hoping I could take a nap on ya on the way to Sendai," he added in a quieter voice.

Yukio felt a hint of a flush crawl across his cheeks as he averted his gaze. They'd been doing this ever since that night, when their secret feelings for each other had been placed out in the open. The small, fleeting comments made Yukio's stomach churn, but in the good way. It had been strange to get used to the first couple days as Renzou had been the one to instigate it, but since then, Yukio was slowly learning how to flirt in return. He spent one night wondering if it was a good idea but then quickly came upon the conclusion that it was too late to deny the feelings they held for each other. It was okay to relish in what they had now, as long as they didn't delve too deeply into things.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be much more tired after the mission and the trip back to True Cross is just as long." Yukio gave him a soft smile.

"Good point," Renzou said, eyes dancing happily at the response. "Guess I'll have to take ya up on that later then. ♥"

"My shoulder is always open for you," he replied, his smile growing with Renzou's joy. Yukio's chest heated up, something that was becoming a common occurrence now.

Renzou's grin grew. "I'll keep that in mind. Now, how much time do we got until we arrive, ya think? Another hour at least, right?" The pink-haired teen slipped a hand into the pocket of his pants and took out his PSP. He scooted closer to Yukio with it in hand.

Yukio turned over his left wrist and looked at his watch. "I'd say just under three hours actually." He made a deliberate scoot closer to Renzou, closing the remaining distance between them. "What game did you bring?"

"Guess!"

The screen turned on as soon as the word was out and the intro to Monster Hunter began playing for the first time.

"Thought we could finally take a break from Persona. Also, did I tell ya you're the best already? 'Cause ya are."

"Shima Renzou," Yukio laughed quietly. "What on earth are you trying to get out of me with all these compliments?"

"A smile?" Renzou suggested, flashing him one of his own. "I'm not up to anythin', I swear. Jus' grateful for my birthday present is all."

"Well… You of all people don't need to work so hard to get a smile out of me." Yukio reached forward and pressed the start button on the PSP. The intro that neither of them were actually watching faded away.

"Me of all people, huh?"

The murmur hung between them, but the two teens let the conversation drop there, focusing on the game as the character creation menu showed up on the screen. They took their time deciding on a character, working through the tutorial, and exploring the first town. By the time they started their first hunt, Yukio had almost forgotten they were heading towards an actual mission. His attention was fully into this moment as he playfully criticized Renzou's strategies, who ended up prompting him to take charge in the next hunt. Yukio wormed his arms in, pressing buttons until he took over the console entirely. The rest of the train ride passed by like that, with them drifting closer together, taking turns with the PSP as they played side by side.

When they stopped for lunch, the teasing undertone disappeared since they didn't have the privacy of separate seats. But that didn't prevent them from sitting as close to each other as possible, using the excuse of the crowded table and the group hovering over the map of the mall that Shiro and Yunokawa, the mission's secondary leader, had laid out.

"Alright, our destination today is the Runa Mall. As you can see, we've sectioned off most of the areas by colors. You'll be assigned to teams once we get to the mall, but you should all get a good look at the map beforehand." Yunokawa leaned forward slightly and tapped his finger atop a pair of arrows that indicated the upper levels of the mall. "Like we said before, the areas under construction are off-limits, so don't wander into them unless we say otherwise. We don't want anyone getting unecesarily hurt."

"I'd rather not get hurt at all this time," Renzou grumbled. Yukio nodded in agreement. His face had only just finished healing last week.

"That would definitely be preferable," he remarked.

"At least there's plenty of doctors this time." Shiro smiled reassuringly at the group.

"Yeah… Too bad there's no nurses!" Renzou sighed dramatically, garnering a few eye rolls around the table, but it was Yukio that he was staring at as he struggled not to grin. The comment earned him an elbow in his side and a small smile from the Doctor. Yukio had to look away though, when he saw the way Renzou's eyes lit up in return.

It was when they got to Runa Mall that Yukio allowed himself to slip into his more serious persona. He stood by his father, holding smaller, rolled up versions of the map that was now spread across the floor. Shiro began announcing the teams.

"Team Blue will be Miwa-kun and Moriyama-san!"

Yukio exchanged a smile with Shiemi as she came up to him with Konekomaru to receive a map.

"Good luck," he told her.

"Thanks!" she chirped in return.

His eyes lingered on her as he watched her retreat back to the group, quietly impressed by how different she seemed to carry herself these days.

"Suguro-kun, you'll be going with Okumura-sensei so come stand by here. You two will be Team Purple."

What.

Yukio's composure slipped for a moment. As far as he had known, Ryuuji and Yamada were supposed to have been paired up together, while he was supposed to aid his father. But for some reason, the teams had been switched around. Yukio gave Ryuuji a brief look when he joined him at the front. He would have prefered Yamada. He handed his partner a map without looking at him as his father told Renzou that he was partnering up with Takara.

"Great," the pink-haired teen groaned.

"Hah. Bet he's wishin' he'd been paired up with Kamiki," Ryuuji murmured.

Yukio's eyebrow twitched.

Once all the teams were announced, the group followed Yunokawa to the central courtyard where everyone split up with their partners. His father walked off to the east wing of the mall with Ryuuji's former teammate trailing behind him. His brother headed to the northwest section alongside Izumo. Renzou disappeared around a corner as Yukio handed Ryuuji the infrared thermometer they had received to root out the imps. He clipped a walkie talkie to his belt. "Shall we get going, Ryuuji-kun?"

"Yeah." Ryuuji glanced down at the map to check where they were going. The area their team had been assigned to was the purple one—the only colored section in the map that was still under construction. They headed down the north hall and after a few minutes of walking, they discovered exactly what their area was supposed to be.

"It looks like a theater." Yukio observed the large entrance, noticing the service windows were still being built. "It's bound to have plenty of little nooks for the imps to hide in. We should be careful."

"Right." Ryuuji gave the surrounding area a small glance, the thermometer in his hand hanging at his side.

The two teens approached the entrance with Yukio taking the lead. He pushed past the glass door and stepped inside the theater's rugless floor with quiet, deliberate footsteps. The lobby was large. Through the faint darkness, Yukio could make out a fair outline of the inside. There was a large tarp near the back, corralling the area where concession stands were usually located. Several light stands and smaller, portable floodlights were scattered across the floor. Yukio focused on one of the thick cables on the ground and he followed that crisscross of veins with his eyes until he found the surge protector they were all connected to. He flipped the switch on with his shoe.

The bright lights revealed a drab room. Peeking from behind the blue tarp were further signs of construction. More wires hung from the ceiling, connected to the lobby's main lights which were still being installed. Yukio kept a hand on his gun as he walked around them and he began surveying the room with Ryuuji at his heels.

The two checked out the bathrooms, what would eventually become an arcade room, and the area where the concession stand was being built, keeping an eye on the temperature all the while, before concluding that there was nothing suspicious around here.

"Let's head in further," Ryuuji suggested, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. "They must be hidin' in one of the rooms."

Yukio was thinking the same thing. He nodded. "Agreed. We should be careful. I'm sure they already know we're here."

The two headed up the ramp that led to the theaters. There was a large corridor that stretched out to their right and their left, and they took the right path first, approaching the first room along a line of six.

Yukio pulled the door open, his warm fingers curled around the cold metal handle. Unsurprisingly, the inside of the room was pitch dark. His hand instinctively tightened on the handle of his gun as he stared into the deep abyss. "It doesn't look like there are any lights in here," he said, glancing back at Ryuuji with a small frown. "We should be cautious and check the temperatures before we decide whether or not to brave these rooms."

Ryuuji nodded shortly, mirroring his cautious frown. "I'm on it," he said, stepping forward. The older teen pointed the laser end of the thermometer into the dark room with one hand. His other reached inside his pocket, digging for a flashlight. Yukio pulled out his own and the two slowly walked down the long ramp, carefully watching the thermometer's monitor. The temperature remained steady the entire time.

Yukio's shined his flashlight around as they reached the end of the ramp. Beyond the dust particles drifting in the air, the shape of a theater was present. Stairs led upwards to empty aisles and then stretched downwards to bare floors. The chairs, screens, railings, and lights were all still missing but one could easily make out the room's intended design.

They walked around carefully, keeping a slight distance between each other as Ryuuji quietly scanned the area. Though Yukio didn't have a thermometer of his own, his eyes were keenly studying the room for danger.

"It doesn't seem like there's anythin' in here..." Ryuuji eventually said, his voice a low murmur. He glanced up from the thermometer and took a step back to look at Yukio, but as he did so, the heel of his boot got caught on one of the thick cables that had been lying on the ground. Ryuuji stumbled and cursed, dropping his flashlight as he tried to regain his balance.

"Shit!" he hissed.

"Ryuuji-kun!" Yukio turned, his eyes widening and scanning for imps. But Ryuuji was upright again, his hand pressed against the wall next to him as he stared at the floor in surprise. The flashlight he had dropped rolled and bumped into the perpetrator that had caused his stumble. Yukio's expression was immediately devoid of concern and, instead, exasperation replaced it.

"I'm fine! Sorry," Ryuuji muttered, wishing Yukio's light wasn't pointing his way, practically showcasing the embarrassed flush that had crawled up his cheeks. He quickly bent down to pick up his own flashlight and when he looked up, his eyes sought the dimly illuminated face of his partner. The look on Yukio's face made him wince.

"My bad" Ryuuji turned away from Yukio, avoiding that gaze. "Let's go check out the next room," he suggested, moving towards the exit as he silently willed the heat in his cheeks to recede.

"Let's." Yukio loosened his hold on his gun and walked out of the room, feeling irritated. Of all the stupid things...

The process of checking the rooms was repeated several times, thankfully without any more tripping, though the atmosphere between them lost some of its previous ease. Yukio wanted to walk ahead but, for the sake of the mission, he knew it wasn't advisable. He kept a closer eye on Ryuuji instead, and on their surroundings as a whole, but it wasn't until they got into the sixth room that the temperature began jumping higher by five degrees at a time. Ryuuji immediately began to scan the area.

"Odd..." the teen muttered after a minute. Though the temperature of the room was noticeably warmer than it had been previously, Ryuuji couldn't pinpoint the main source. The reading on the screen remained steady as he aimed the thermometer at every nook and cranny around them, the red laser piercing through the darkness.

"Stay alert," Yukio warned as he looked around.

Ryuuji gave the room another quick scan, frowning. "Nothin's showin' u—"

A high-pitched giggle tittered around the room. Ryuuji's mouth snapped shut and the Fatal Verse they'd been taught flashed across his mind. He felt the words bubble up on his lips, but the only thing that escaped him was a pained grunt as something landed on him  _hard_. Ryuuji felt sharp nails and a heavy heat on the back of his shoulder and he sucked in a rattled, startled breath.

_BLAM!_

Yukio drew his gun within a second and pointed the barrel right above Ryuuji's back. The imp that had landed on him disappeared with a shriek.

"I said. Stay. Alert."

In the darkness of the room, Ryuuji breathed in muted shock. He stared at the floor with wide unseeing eyes as his heartbeat attempted to calm down. The gunshot he had heard was still ringing loudly in his ears along with the echo of that demonic laugh.

"That… was close." Ryuuji swallowed, feeling more than a little unnerved by the scare. In an absentminded motion, he reached for the devices he had dropped before sitting back on his heels. He glanced up at Yukio, ready to voice his gratitude, but the moment he caught sight of Yukio's face, the words died on his lips.

Yukio was looking at him with a narrowed gaze. His lips were curled slightly in what could only be disgust. Ryuuji's brow creased in confusion, but Yukio's expression didn't change.

When he got up to his feet, Ryuuji was frowning. "Thanks," he muttered gruffly, not looking at the brunet.

Yukio didn't respond. He turned away from Ryuuji and pointed his flashlight at the ceiling, trying to see if any more demons remained. But the imp had either been alone or its friends had been scared off for the ceiling was completely bare. He didn't share his thoughts with the other.

Ryuuji tried to ignore the way the silence in the room seemed to thicken. He felt tense. Not wanting to get caught off guard again, he began to check the room once more, from the floor to ceiling this time. He was disappointed to see the temperature had dropped back to normal. "The, uh, room's clear," Ryuuji pointed out, speaking a little louder as he noticed Yukio had wandered off without him.

"It seems that way. Luckily for you," Yukio replied casually as he headed for the ramp leading to the exit with barely a glance back.

Ryuuji's eyebrows shot up. He stared at Yukio's back, for a moment unsure if he had heard him correctly, but the other's previous expression was still seared into his mind. "Excuse me?" The short words escaped him before he could contain them.

Yukio stopped almost mid-stride. He placed his foot down and turned his head to look at Ryuuji. His expression was as cold as the feeling in his chest. Ryuuji's utter ineptitude was starting to wear on him.

"Are you deaf as well as incompetent?" Yukio couldn't stop the scathing remark coming from his lips. Then again, he didn't make much effort to try.

Ryuuji's eyes widened. The remark stung just as much as it bewildered him. His fingers tightened around his flashlight as he stared at Yukio, trying to figure out what was going on in the other's mind. "What the hell?" Ryuuji's jaw clenched and a rising feeling of irritation began bristling inside of him. "The hell's your problem?" he snapped.

A flash of incredulity crossed Yukio's features and it was immediately followed by an anger that rivaled the taller teen's. But while Ryuuji's anger was outward in clenched fists and furrowed brows, Yukio's was calm, his face almost expressionless. The only thing that betrayed him was his gaze as it froze over, leaving little to no mercy in the teal colored eyes.

"My problem?" he repeated almost patiently. But the tone was gone as fast as it had come for the next words he uttered rode out on a growl. "My problem is you."

" _Me?!_ " Ryuuji could barely process that response. "What the hell did I do to ya?" he protested. Immediately, Ryuuji's mind raced rapidly as he tried to pinpoint a reason that would explain the level of the other's anger. The only thing that came to mind was the incident from two weeks ago.

"Is this about Rin?" he demanded immediately. "About what we talked about at the infirmary? Are ya  _still_ mad about that? Sensei agreed with us and you should too!"

"Of course this is about Nii-san," Yukio snapped coldly, turning to face him as he glared. "But this isn't just about the infirmary. Granted it'd be a difficult enough leap to get Nii-san to pass that exam in the first place." He didn't mean that. He knew he didn't. Yukio didn't stop and continued to barrel forward. "But this is about everything else. This is about everything that you're dragging Nii-san into. All of this needless risk to his life. I'm not sure you quite understand the situation he's under, the situation we're  _all_  under!"

"This again?" Ryuuji grit his teeth and took a step towards him, waving his flashlight angrily. "I ain't draggin' Rin into anythin'! Believe it or not, ya made yer point clear enough last time! I know just as well as you do the situation we're in!"

"You keep saying you know what to do. You keep saying you know what the situation is like." Yukio took a half step forward, his jaw tensing along with his fingers which were wound around the handle of his gun. He didn't intend to draw it, but he couldn't help gripping it like he would. "I made my point clear, but I think my words aren't fully getting through your head!" Another step forward. "The fact that you would encourage Nii-san to reveal himself proves it! And let's not forget the disaster that was the amusement park!"

"I've already apologized for that!" Ryuuji snapped. "How long are ya gonna hold that against me? I know I messed up! I'm tryin' to do better!"

"I will continue holding it against you until you give me reason enough to look past it!" Yukio snarled. "And so far you've been doing a poor job of that!"

Ryuuji flinched. "I'm doin' my  _best_ ," he insisted through gritted teeth. "Excuse me if I don't got as much experience as you do,  _sensei_ , but not all of us went behind Rin's back and started this gig early."

"Everything that I have ever done has been for my brother!" Yukio's voice echoed loudly in the empty room. "Everything! Every class, every mission! All of it has been to become stronger, to protect my brother from his fate! This isn't some kind of exam that you can afford to get a lower grade and still pass, Ryuuji-kun. This is life or death for Nii-san! This is it! This is the real world and your  _best_  isn't  _good enough_! I want my brother to live! I want my brother to be safe! So don't you dare belittle my affections for him! Don't you dare downplay my intentions and how hard I've worked for his sake!" His voice rose in volume and pitch. The fire in his eyes became more wild and angry as he glared at the teen in front of him.

Ryuuji hissed under his breath and glared right back.

"You're the the only here doin' the belittlin', Yukio. You and yer big ego. Ya think yer the only one that wants to protect Rin? We all want the same thing! You, sensei and I!"

"And yet whether or not you're capable of such a feat still stands to be proven," Yukio growled. "My ego doesn't matter. What I am capable of does! What I and my father are capable of vastly outweighs what you can  _ever_  hope to be to Nii-san!"

"Listen here, you!" Ryuuji had had enough of this. He closed the distance between them in two long steps and snatched Yukio's coat with a tight fist. His flashlight shone at an odd angle as the hilt of it dug into Yukio's chest, but in this distance, he could see the other just as well, the tension in his jaw, the beads of sweat running down the side of his face.

"I've had enough of ya spoutin' bullshit. Where were ya when Rin started sleepwalkin' at night? When he started trainin' to use his flames? Where were any of ya when all he wanted was someone to tell him he wasn't a monster?!"

Ryuuji breathed angrily, his fingers shaking with rage. He glared at Yukio and struggled with the impulse to punch him in the face.

"I'm doin' just as much as all of you to help Rin," he hissed. "Yer dad trusts me.  _Rin_ trusts me. Why the hell can't you?"

"S...Sleep...?" Yukio's anger was muted for a moment with confusion. What did he mean, sleepwalking? He'd have to question his father later.

As for the flame training... He'd gone in after Ryuuji. The day after. Shiro had pulled Ryuuji in for that first day and he had gotten the second. Bitter anger continued twisting in his chest.

"Don't act like you're the only one who loves him." Yukio narrowed his eyes and released his gun. He grabbed Ryuuji's wrist instead, digging his blunt nails into the skin. "Quite frankly, your hubris disgusts me. My father may believe in you and perhaps he sees something in you that I don't, but the fact stands that I don't see it. I don't see how useful you can be. All I've seen from you is detriment and it hasn't gotten better." He leaned closer, twisting his grip on the teen's wrist. Ryuuji winced, opened his mouth to respond, but Yukio continued before he could.

"How would you feel, then, if I was constantly hurting Ren-kun? If everything you ever saw was me putting him in danger, risking his life and well-being?" Yukio glared hard at him. "Would you not protect him with the same ferocity that I am doing now?"

"If ya were hurtin' him? Sure! But yer not! I'm. Not." Ryuuji snatched his wrist back but he stood his ground. "I'd never hurt Rin. I don't know how you've deluded yourself to think that I'm a  _danger_  to him, but I'm not! So ya need to get over this... this obsession ya have that I am. Freakin' cooperate with me here!" he said, waving his flashlight again, less angry now, but just as exasperated as before. "Yer actin' ridiculous. If Rin was here—"

Ryuuji's mouth snapped shut.

"A delusion?! An obsession?!" Yukio scoffed. "Well go on, then! Don't stop now! If you think I'm acting ridiculous by doing what I can to protect my brother then—"

There was a deep rumble behind Yukio and a gust of wind that tossed his hair. His words died in his throat and he turned, watching in horror as the flashlight's beam illuminated the growing cracks on the wall behind them. A heavy slab of wood mixed with concrete and plaster began falling forward, lacking the support to remain upright. Yukio's anger vanished in a flash replaced by shock. A deep terror rooted him to the spot.

They were surely going to get crushed.

"Yukio,  _move_!" Ryuuji snatched Yukio's wrist and dropped his flashlight in the process. There was no time to pick it up, so he left it there and pulled Yukio towards the emergency exit instead, running towards it with powerful strides. Behind them, debris rapidly fell in the darkness, crumbling to the ground unseen. It felt so near... Ryuuji glanced back and through the shadows, he spotted a dozen pair of glowing eyes staring their way. The room felt hot all of the sudden. Where was the  _door_?

There was a vivid map of the room floating in Ryuuji's mind, and with it, the Fatal Verse he had learned on the train ride. The words fell from his lips without hesitation.

"O Lord my God, I have cried to you for help—" Ryuuji felt the ground tremble just as he slammed his shoulder into the door, "—and you have healed me!" he shouted.

He didn't wait to see the result of his work. He dragged Yukio through the door and slammed it close behind him as he heard the imps screech in agony.

Yukio staggered across the hallway they'd ended up in. His back thumped into the nearest wall, his breath quick and heavy. The lighting in the hall was dim with only small light bulbs dotting the ceiling, but he could still see Ryuuji's figure leaning against the door. The sight of him caused a rush of self-loathing to course through him.

He'd frozen. He hadn't been paying attention, hadn't expected the imps, and he had just frozen up. But Ryuuji…

 _"Purple! What was that noise?! Are you two alright!?"_   Yunokawa's voice burst out of the walkie talkie on Yukio's belt. The two teens flinched at the sound and Yukio pressed his palm over the speaker for a moment, muffling the noise of small machine.

"You…" He breathed out heavily, doing his best to slow down his racing heart. "You killed them…"

"Y-Yeah…" Ryuuji was panting as well. "They oughta be dead…" There was a flicker of uncertainty lingering in the back of his mind, a product born from their argument and his own past failures. But now that his heartbeat was slowing down, he was able to fully process the demons' final dying screech. A faint smile crossed his lips at his success.

_"Team Purple! Do you copy?!"_

Ryuuji waved a hand in Yukio's direction. "Should answer that."

Yukio was already lifting the walkie talkie to his mouth. "Yes. This is Okumura. We copy. The imps have been cleared out of the purple section. Suguro-kun and I are about to perform a final sweep." His voice remained even up until the moment he removed his thumb from the side button on the device. He let out a heavy exhale and let his head fall back, thumping lightly against the wall.

"...Ya okay?"

Yunokawa's voice nearly drowned out Ryuuji's own.

_"Are either of you hurt?"_

Yukio quickly lifted the walkie talkie to his mouth again. "No. We are both perfectly fine. Thank you for your concern." He looked across the hall at the teen who'd just saved his life and a rush of doubt mixed with his self-loathing as he clipped the walkie talkie back to his belt.

His thoughts about Ryuuji. They were wrong. Perhaps not completely, but…

"I'm fine," he finally replied. "And you? Any injuries to speak of?"

"No." Ryuuji finally pushed himself off of the door, but when he did, a sharp pain shot up to his left shoulder.

"Shit." A small hiss escaped through his teeth at the familiar pain. Ryuuji clenched his teeth and gingerly touched the source of his discomfort. "Ah, right. I hit the door pretty hard…"

Yukio frowned, remembering Ryuuji's injury from the amusement park. "Sit." He pointed to the floor as he reached into the pouches hanging off his belt. He pulled out a small white, plastic pouch and a roll of white medical tape.

Ryuuji eyed the supplies briefly before waving Yukio off. "I'm fine. Just a little bruised," he told him with a slight grimace.

"Suguro-kun. Sit." Yukio's frown deepened.

Ryuuji hovered in place for a second but the use of his surname caused him to reluctantly comply. He sighed and moved to sit down where Yukio had indicated.

Yukio lowered himself down, kneeling on his left side. He put the tape down and squeezed the pack tightly between his palms. It gave a small pop and cold suddenly spread through the pouch. He rolled it around in his hands to even out the temperature before pressing it to Ryuuji's shoulder, leaving only his shirt as a barrier in between.

As he picked up the medical tape and began wrapping it around the pack and Ryuuji's torso in order to keep it in place, Yukio released a deep sigh. The silence was deafening and the words were coming up. After what happened, he saw no reason to stop them.

"About what I said in there," Yukio began. "I apologize. I may have said a few things I shouldn't have in a way that... was a bit too harsh on you." His lips thinned and his jaw tensed. "But you must understand where I'm coming from as well."

Yukio tore the tape with his teeth and pressed it into place before resting his hands on his knees. "Nii-san is the most important person in my life." He looked into Ryuuji's eyes as he spoke. "He is my twin brother. Every day since I found out the truth of his blood, I've lived in fear of the day that the wrong person would find out and my brother would be taken away from me and executed. I have worked hard to get to where I am for him and for his safety, to become the person who could protect him. To become a brother worthy of him."

Yukio swallowed and his eyes wandered down. "When you found out, I admit, I was angry. But more than that, I was scared. One wrong word in the wrong place or in the wrong ear, and that's it. No matter the intention, my brother will be gone and what's done will be done." His fingers slowly closed, gripping the fabric of his pants. "I don't want my brother to die. There are times when I fear that my brother trusts too easily. He likes to think the best in people when I... I have seen far worse. I know what humans are capable of and how ruthless they have the capacity to be when push comes to shove. But my brother trusts you."

His eyes rose again and he caught Ryuuji's gaze. They were intense with various emotions, open to the storm in his heart. "Ryuuji-kun, I implore you... Please give me reason to do the same."

Ryuuji didn't answer him for a long moment, clearly taking his time to digest Yukio's words. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet but no less steady.

"Yukio... I know ya didn't have an easy time growin' up. I get that it's hard to trust people, especially with a secret as huge as this. But Rin and I... Rin is special to me. He's the most important person in my life too."

There was a weight behind Ryuuji's words that made him pause for a second. The teen swallowed hard, clenching his fists slightly before continuing. "I want him to be safe just as much as you do. The mere idea of him bein' executed, or even bein' hurt..." Ryuuji shook his head hard, waving the image away. "I'd die before I'd let anythin' happen to him. So trust me at least when I say that."

"I  _know._ " Yukio shook his head. "You're not understanding me. I know how much you care for my brother. That isn't what I'm questioning. What I question is whether or not your abilities can stand up to your intentions." He looked at him, his eyes pleading. "What I have seen from you is recklessness and short-sightedness and that is something we cannot risk when the price of the consequences are so dire.  _Please._ " Yukio's fists curled tighter as he kept Ryuuji's gaze.

"Please understand that no matter how much we care for him, both of us are capable of becoming the guillotine that ends Nii-san's life. You don't wish for it to happen but the cold reality is that it  _can,_  and I must know that I can trust that you will never make a mistake that will lead to that."

"We're not." Ryuuji's voice was as worn as it was firm. "We're not makin' a mistake. We ain't bein' reckless." There was a frown on Ryuuji's lips as he stared at Yukio. A glimmer of understanding flickered through his eyes. "What yer scared of isn't really me in the end, is it? It's everyone else. Ya think we shouldn't tell them." Yukio glanced away and that was all the confirmation he needed.

Ryuuji let out a long breath. The small motion caused his injury a twinge of pain that went ignored. "I was against it at first too, ya know. All yer doubts... I had 'em too. But Rin... he's seein' farther than yer givin' him credit for. I think even yer dad understood that before I did. What yer brother needs, what we all need is people we can trust. The Vatican ain't the only one that's after your brother, and you and I aren't always gonna be around Rin. What if one day, he gets attacked, or he sees someone in danger, and he opens the Kurikara? What if someone  _sees_?"

The two exchanged a glance of equal dread. Ryuuji was able to swallow most of it away. Yukio wasn't.

"If we're lucky, it could be Shima or Konekomaru. But what if it's not? How can we hope for people to accept Rin if we can't even trust our friends?"

Yukio stared at Ryuuji. He was constantly astounded by how easily Rin and his friend could shove fear to the back and place trust in their friends. He both ridiculed and admired the notion. Was it enough? To know someone since childhood but never seeing them at their worst. Did you really know them? Hesitation and fear continued to rattle around in Yukio's head and Ryuuji's words had done nothing to calm them.

"Ryuuji-kun, I—"

_"What was that? Team Brown, is everything alright?!"_

Yukio froze. "That's… Nii-san's team. With Kamiki-san," he muttered, taking the walkie talkie off his belt. Had something happened?

Ryuuji tensed as well and the two stared at the walkie talkie with baited breath. When no response came, a knot of unease formed in Ryuuji's stomach.

_"Team Brown! Do you need assistance? Please respond!"_

Another long stretch of silence. Yukio grit his teeth and lifted the walkie talkie to his mouth. "This is Okumura from Purple. We're done with our section so we'll head over there to check on things." He stood up and offered Ryuuji his hand.

Ryuuji looked at Yukio, at the hand being stretched out before him, and he didn't hesitate to take it. The two shared a look of understanding in that brief moment. Whatever differences they may have with each other meant nothing in the face of protecting the person they cared about the most.

"Let's go," Ryuuji said.

Yukio nodded. The two of them followed the map out of the theater, stopping only at the sound of Renzou's voice. He sounded somewhat muffled over the sound of the walkie talkie's static, as if there was something wrong with his equipment. _"Hey. Want an extra hand, Yuki-chan? We're almost done over here."_

Almost as soon as he was done speaking, Shiemi piped up too.  _"We're almost done too!"_  she said, sounding much more clear.

_"Team Purple will go aid Team Brown. All other teams will report to the central area and meet with Yunokawa-sensei to await further instructions."_

Yukio sighed with slight relief at his father's voice. If something really had happened with his brother and Izumo, the less people around, the better. The responses came quickly, though both sounded equally reluctant to comply.

_"Yes, sir…"_

_"Y-Yes!"_

They continued their journey to the brown section but found that it was woefully empty. They searched through several hallways and empty rooms but there was no sign of Rin or Izumo.

"Where are they?" Yukio frowned. He grabbed the walkie talkie again but before he pressed the button, Izumo herself spoke.

_"Second floor… Demon King Amaimon… is here…"_

"What…?!" Yukio's eyes widened and he stared at the device in his hand in shock.

Ryuuji mirrored him, taking in a rattled breath as the worry in his chest worsened. "No way…"

Shiro's voice came out of the walkie talkie immediately.

_"All teams meet with Yunokawa-sensei and evacuate the mall immediately!"_

Yukio began moving towards the stairs as he responded. "Suguro-kun and I are close. Kamiki-san sounds hurt. We're going to go get her."

_"Dude, are ya kiddin' me?"_

Yukio tried not to wince at the sound of Renzou's garbled voice coming out of the small speaker. He had to be worried. But he couldn't allow himself to be held back now. Luckily, Shiro seemed to agree.

_"Yukio, get Kamiki and get out. I'm heading over to look for Rin."_

The order from his father made him feel a little better. Yukio glanced back towards Ryuuji before bringing the walkie talkie back to his lips.

"Understood."


	48. July 14, 2009 (Evening)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! We have three updates for Forever Yours coming up starting next week so please look forward to them. Hope you enjoy this week's chapter!

Yukio and Ryuuji wasted no time getting to the second floor. Their feet pounded against the linoleum floor, then the hollow wood of the unfurnished steps. As soon as they arrived to the second floor, they spotted Izumo sprawled across the ground.

"Kamiki-san!" Yukio rushed forward and knelt at her side. "Kamiki-san, can you speak? Are you awake?" He was already digging into a pouch on his belt and looking for his pen flashlight.

The floor underneath their feet suddenly rumbled and a loud noise, almost a roar, echoed in the distance.

"Nii-san…!" Yukio gasped. He looked towards Ryuuji who was standing a few feet away with the empty red sword sleeve of the Kurikara hanging limply from his palm.

Izumo stirred, groaning quietly as her injuries were jarred by the tremors. "Sensei…?" she muttered as her blurry eyes focused first on him, then on her classmate standing behind Yukio. "Gorilla too…?"

Ryuuji was too worried about Rin to be annoyed at Izumo. He glanced between her, Yukio, and the chaos in the distance. He couldn't spot neither Rin nor Amaimon, but he knew they were out there somewhere. His stomach churned anxiously as his need to go after his best friend rose.

Yukio looked between Ryuuji and Izumo and bit his lip in indecision. He realized then that the two of them had rushed up to the second floor without a single plan and things were already more dire than he would have liked. Izumo was injured and there was no one there to help her but him, and his brother was most likely head to head with a Demon King with no one to help him but...

Yukio looked towards Ryuuji, watching him as he gripped the empty sword sleeve with white knuckles. He was looking towards the direction where Rin's voice had echoed from and Yukio knew that he wanted to bolt off, and would if given the chance. His eyes lowered to Izumo's unconscious form.

The decision seemed clear.

"Ryuuji-kun, do you know how to use a gun?"

Ryuuji looked back abruptly, startled by the question, and he found himself staring directly into Yukio's green eyes. "Me? I…" The teen faltered for a moment and his gaze darted towards the ammo on Yukio's waist. His expression faded into a grim frown as he fully contemplated the other's words. "I've never used one before," he admitted, "but I've been readin' up on them. I'm aimin' for a Meister in Dragoon too after all."

Yukio stood up and pulled a gun out of the holster on his back. "Safety." He pointed to the small lever at the top. "Trigger." Again he pointed to the trigger. "This is how you eject the magazine." He flicked the release with his thumb and it slid out into his palm. "When you aim down the sights, keep both eyes open." He pushed the magazine back in with a click. "Keep the safety on always unless you're aiming to shoot. Don't point it towards anything you don't want to kill. Do you understand?"

Yukio's hands were steady as he held the barrel, presenting the handle to him. Ryuuji stared at the gun in front of him and didn't answer. Off in the distance, a loud crash resounded through the air, causing the floor beneath them to tremble again. Ryuuji's fingers twitched. In the next second, he was reaching out to receive the weapon.

"I got it," he said quietly, nodding as his fingers curled around the gun's handle.

Yukio released the weapon. He stared at it for a moment before reaching towards his belt. "Here. Two extra magazines. In case you need them." He held out the extra ammunition. "You must be careful when you shoot, Ryuuji-kun. These are blessed bullets. If you hit Nii-san, it'll hurt. He won't be able to recover easily." He swallowed. "Or at all."

Ryuuji nodded grimly as he carefully pocketed the ammunition along with the Kurikara's sword sleeve. "I'll take care of him," he assured him, holding Yukio's gaze. "Trust me."

He didn't push the subject further than that. In the next moment, Ryuuji was gesturing towards the walkie talkie. "Let me take that too. Ya still have Kamiki's to get in contact with the others."

Yukio nodded and unclipped the device from his belt. "Radio in once you and Nii-san are safe," he said as he handed it over. "I'm going to get Kamiki-san out of here."

"Right." Ryuuji took a deep, readying breath. "Stay safe, you two."

"You too." Yukio bit the inside of his cheek. "Bring Nii-san back safely." A pause. "And be careful."

"I will. See ya soon."

Yukio allowed himself only two seconds to watch Ryuuji's back as he ran out of the room before he returned his focus to his patient. They both had jobs to do.

"Kamiki-san, can you hear me?" he asked, but it seemed that she'd fallen unconscious again. Yukio was careful not to move her as he pulled an eyelid back to shine his pen flashlight into her eye. The pupil contracted immediately. Yukio breathed a sigh of relief.

He clicked the flashlight back off and slipped a hand tenderly under her neck. His fingers traced the bones and muscles, ignoring the commotion outside to the best of his ability. He couldn't allow his mind to wander. Instead, he focused on gently lifting her enough to inspect the shape of her spine and ensure that no muscle was swelling harmfully against it. Fortunately, everything seemed to be in order.

"You're lucky, Kamiki-san. So lucky," Yukio whispered as he laid her down again. He unbuckled his belt and pulled off his coat. He lifted Izumo slowly back into a seating position, wrapped the coat around her shoulders, and worked his belt around his waist again.

It took some maneuvering, but he was able to stand, holding Izumo with one arm hooked behind her shoulders and the other under her knees. The coat was wrapped securely around her to prevent shock from settling in. Yukio made a beeline for the stairs, ignoring the floor that was trembling beneath his feet.

But the fighting wasn't isolated to only the second floor. This was made plain when Yukio arrived in the central courtyard and stopped in his tracks, a gasp in his throat. A huge goblin-like demon was smashing the floor with its fists. A shudder of urgency raced through him before he saw his father standing in front of it, his old revolver in his hand. But then a familiar voice reached his ears and his mouth fell open.

"Sh-Shura-san!?" Yukio cried out in shock. "What are you doing here!?"

Shura stood there with her sword aloft and a grin spreading across her lips. Her long red and blonde mane was tied back in a tight ponytail. She was dressed in long black pants and her usual bra, her tattoos on full display.

"Why, if it isn't Yukio~!" she cooed, swaying her sword slightly. "Long time no see, ya little runt!"

She was as irritating as he remembered! Yukio wrinkled his nose, keeping an eye on the large, rampaging demon as he stepped slowly towards the exit, hoping not to draw its attention. As he opened his mouth to retaliate, his father's booming voice cut the air.

"Tender reunion later, kids!" Shiro kept his aim steady on the demon as he looked towards Yukio. "Where's Ryuuji-kun?"

Yukio paused mid-step and pressed his lips tightly together. He felt the difference in the weight of his harness. It was lighter. "Looking for Nii-san." He glanced upwards.

"Shit." Shiro looked back towards the demon and Yukio wondered if he'd done something wrong. Probably. "Get her out of here, Yukio!"

"Yes, sir!" he called back before turning around to promptly follow the order.

Yukio ignored the sounds of fighting behind and above him. He tried not to think about what could possibly be going on that would require Shura's attendance. Had the Vatican found out? Was she even working for the Vatican? Surely his father wouldn't let that happen. Surely Shura could be trusted. Yukio bit his lip and held tighter to his patient as he paused in his step for a moment to recall the map of the mall.

The entrance wasn't far, luckily, and he was able to shoulder the door open with Izumo still in his arms.

"Yuki-chan!"

Renzou's voice was the first and the loudest one to reach him. Out of instinct, Yukio sought his eyes and he caught the worry in them melt with immediate relief. Renzou's complexion was paler than usual, but the color was gradually beginning to seep back in as he stared at him, mouth agape.

Shiemi hid a loud gasp behind her hands.

"Kamiki-san!"

"She's alright!" Yukio hurried over, tearing his eyes away from Renzou as Yunokawa met him halfway. "I think it's the shock. She might have hit her head," he told him.

"There's a bench over this way. We should lay her down." Yunokawa took her out of his hands, keeping the coat around her as best he could. "Back?"

"Felt fine." Yukio breathed, taking off his glasses and cleaning them. "But we won't know for sure until we get an X-ray done. There has to be some minor trauma in the state we found her in."

Yunokawa nodded and hurried down the sidewalk towards a bench sitting a little away from the curb. The moment Yukio put his glasses back on, he looked for Renzou again. It was Konekomaru who drew his attention next however.

"Where's Bon?" he asked, looking straight up at Yukio with a pinched expression. Renzou was standing next to him, staring at Yukio just as intently, frowning in the way he always did when he was worried about something. "And what about Rin-kun?" the shorter teen continued.

"Ryuuji-kun and Nii-san are both being taken care of by Fujimoto-sensei." Yukio smiled immediately, ignoring the tightening of his chest. "Don't worry about them."

Konekomaru didn't look very reassured. "What about… Is the Earth King really in there?" he whispered.

"Are you okay, Yukio?" Shiemi asked, sounding just as quiet as she glanced between him and where Izumo was.

"Everything's fine. I'm fine." Yukio lifted his hands slightly in a placating gesture. "As for Amaimon, I didn't see him myself. We won't know until Fujimoto-sensei returns. So please stay calm and be patient. I promise it won't be long."

Konekomaru and Shiemi exchanged fretful glances. They looked at Renzou too, but the pink-haired teen's focus was solely on Yukio, examining every inch of him as if to assure himself that the taller teen was okay. Yukio wanted, at that moment, to speak to him and comfort him. But his attention was diverted again.

"Yamada-kun is still missing," Konekomaru said, giving the mall a worried glance.

 _Of course._  Yukio hadn't thought about it there in the thick of it but Shura never wore pants. The long black slacks she was wearing seemed particularly out of place. "Yamada-kun is still with Fujimoto-sensei. Of that I am certain." He glanced again towards Renzou and spotted, for the first time, bandages wrapped around his right forearm. Yukio's eyes widened. "Are you alright?"

Renzou was momentarily taken aback. "Me?" He seemed to remember his injury then and he gave it a brief glance before waving Yukio off. "I'm alright." He shrugged. "Workin' with Takara was a nightmare, but we got out okay. This is just a scratch."

Relief loosened the tightening of his chest. Yukio exhaled. "I see. I'm glad it's no more than that." He glanced around at the others. "And everyone else?"

"We're fine, Yuki-chan," Renzou assured him, mustering up a smile to cover up his troubled expression. "Yunokawa-sensei already looked us over, right, guys?"

Konekomaru nodded, murmuring an affirmative answer, but Shiemi was still peeking glances to where Izumo was being checked over. "Is Kamiki-san going to be okay?" she asked in a small voice. "Do you know what happened to her?"

Yukio frowned and shook his head. "I don't. When we found her, she was already half unconscious. In the quick examination I was able to do before we evacuated, I didn't find anything serious so I'm sure she'll be alright. Some superficial injuries perhaps but nothing that should require heavy treatment."

"We?" Konekomaru repeated, latching on to that part of the explanation. "We who? Was Bon with you? And what did you mean they're being taken care of right now? Are Bon and Rin-kun alright? Did they get hurt?"

"No, no, not at all," Yukio replied quickly. "Ryuuji-kun and Nii-san are fine. They're going to wait with Fujimoto-sensei until the mall is clear in order to evacuate safely."

Konekomaru glanced at the mall again, his worry clear on his face. Yukio understood his concern, but he was only glad he wasn't questioned further. It wasn't that lying was stressful. In fact, it was almost second nature to him by now. It was the fact that his lies had to be honest. He couldn't divulge too many details. He could only hope now that his words and reassurances wouldn't fall through. But both his father and Shura were in there. They would bring Ryuuji and his brother back safely without a doubt.

Yukio looked back towards Renzou and found him with an uncharacteristically tame expression, though he was quick to flash Yukio a smile when he caught his eye. The need to speak to him resurfaced again. Yukio wanted to apologize for not evacuating and making him worry, to reassure him that things were alright. But they seemed to quietly agree on the fact that such conversations were meant for privacy. They didn't share a word.

Time seemed to stretch. Konekomaru was fidgeting restlessly as he stared at the entrance of the mall. Izumo was still unconscious, but Yunokawa was keeping an eye on her as she rested on the nearby bench. Shiemi stood by them as well, helping the older man with anything he asked for. Yukio decided to leave her to it. He knew how much of a comfort having something to do really felt. Though, that, in turn, left him with little to keep him from wondering about what was happening inside that mall. He tried not to think of the empty holster on his back, of the fact that they had found the sleeve of his brother's sword carelessly discarded beside Izumo, of the reasons behind Shura's presence. The worry must have shown on his face though because next thing he knew, Renzou's hand was on his arm and he was being led to a nearby bench. The two sat side by side, not saying anything, but the close proximity was a huge comfort.

Finally, after a long and tense while, they received contact.

_"Yunokawa, the mall is clear and Okumura-kun and Suguro-kun are safe. We'll be heading towards you now."_

Yukio couldn't stop the sigh of relief that fell from his lips at the sound of his father's voice. Likewise, the tension in the group dissipated as Yunokawa answered.

"Ah, Fujimoto! Thank God. I was beginning to worry." The blond man sought Yukio's eyes and shared a smile with him before getting straight to business. "Do you need any assistance?" he asked into the device.

_"We're fine. We should be out in a few minutes."_

Yunokawa nodded shortly as he responded. "Got it. We'll be waiting for you then."

It took a few more minutes before Shiro and the rest emerged. Yukio immediately hurried over to them. He didn't think much on his brother's change of clothes; instead of wondering why he was wearing Yamada's hoodie, Yukio focused on Ryuuji's injury. It looked like his ear had been grazed by a bullet which begged the question as to how exactly Ryuuji managed to shoot himself as he was fairly certain that Amaimon had no use for a gun. But such questions would have to come later, when they could discuss what really happened freely. For now, he dragged Ryuuji to a nearby bench to treat his wound.

"Bon!"

Konekomaru was quick to join them. The short teen fretted over Ryuuji as Yukio methodically set about to cleaning up the other's injury. He listened half-heartedly to the conversation, losing himself in the routine. Renzou hovered over his shoulder the whole time, something Yukio appreciated. It was a quiet reassurance that they would soon have their time.

"There you are, Ryuuji-kun." Yukio stood straight and tucked his things back into his belt. "Don't pick at it and leave your earrings out for a day while it heals."

"Thanks." Ryuuji looked up at Yukio with a slight smile. He felt his own lips widen in return. Ryuuji had brought his brother back safely. Just as he'd promised.

"I'll go check on Kamiki-san." Yukio looked at the rest of the group. "The bus should be arriving soon so try and relax here until then, alright?" The group made a collective sound of agreement and he took it as his own sign to leave. He wanted to check on Izumo, but more than that, he wanted to figure out Shura's intentions and the reasons why she was here. But as he'd expected, Renzou followed him. The talk with Shura would have to wait. Despite knowing that, Yukio still had no desire to shoo Renzou away. He wanted to keep him as close as possible until they had their chance. It was a strange thought, but an insistent one.

"Hey! There ya are, Yukio!"

The moment he got within her sight, Shura grinned and waved Yukio over. Her exorcist pin and ID card were pressed between her fingers, though they were pocketed away by the time he reached her.

"Took yer time, didn't ya? I was beginnin' to think ya were avoidin' me."

"Not avoiding you. Busy," Yukio replied with a frown. His eyes flitted away for a second to seek his father, but he was kneeling in front of Izumo, chatting with her as Yunokawa checked her over. "One of us has to be." The question of what she was doing here was on his lips but he glanced to Renzou instead. "This is Shura-san. She's my father's apprentice."

Renzou glanced between them as Yukio spoke and didn't seem to know where to rest his eyes. "Um, hi," was all he said with a bit of a crooked smile. Yukio blinked in slight confusion. Renzou seemed a bit less… charismatic than usual.

Shura placed a hand on her hip and smirked. "As diligent as ever, I see. Ya sure haven't changed a bit, Yukio." She gave him a quick once-over, cocking her head. There was a teasing glint in her eyes that was all too familiar. "Well okay, ya did get taller. Guess I really can't call ya squirt anymore."

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't call me by anything other than my name." Yukio shot her a slight glare. That, if anything, only seemed to make her grin widen.

"Oh? That's uncharacteristically forward of ya, Yu-ki-o~!"

"You're incorrigible!" Yukio snapped. Renzou glanced at him sharply, startled at the sudden outburst, but not even that kept the taller teen from bristling. "Can't you talk to anyone normally for once?"

"Nyahahaha! And there's that quick temper of yers!" Shura snickered. "This is just like old times, huh? And here I'd hoped ye'd finally learned to loosen up. Isn't that why ya got this guy for?" Her attention turned to Renzou. Shura gave him a leering grin. A curl of possessiveness wound tight in Yukio's lungs and made it hard to breathe for a moment. He scowled but quickly pacified his expression.

"What are you even implying?" he questioned, suspicion now mixing back in with the rest of his irritation. How much did she know? How closely had she been watching? Yukio shook his head. "Ren-kun is my friend but that doesn't make you any less annoying." He held back a wince at the use of the nickname that had flowed out so naturally. Yukio was sure Shura would make fun of him for it now.

Indeed, the redhead looked smug, as if she had been aiming for the slip all along. "Aw, that hurts," she declared in a tone that was anything but that. "That's no way to talk to a lady," Yukio tried not to snort, "much less an old friend! Shima-kun, won't ya teach this brat the error of his ways? I hear yer pretty popular with the ladies yerself~"

"Oh! Well..." If Renzou was uncomfortable at being pulled into their argument, he didn't show it for long. A sheepish, reflexive chuckle escaped from him as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Actually, Yukio's already pretty popular," he said, glancing at Yukio with the slightest tilt of his head. "Not sure how much help I could be, but I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt ya, Miss."

"Tehehe! See! That's what I'm talkin' about!"

"You really don't need to humor her," Yukio sighed as he looked back towards Renzou. "You'll only make her ego even harder to deal with."

Renzou nudged him hard with his elbow. "Ya ain't helpin' yourself either," he told him in an audible whisper, flashing the redhead a slight grin. Shura looked amused.

A sharp whistle caught everyone's attention. "The bus is here!" Shiro called towards the rest of the group who were still seated where Yukio had left them.

"Well, looks like it's time to go, kiddies." Shura glanced at Shiro briefly; he was helping Izumo stand now while the rest of their class slowly ambled towards the bus. "We'll have to keep catchin' up later," Shura continued as she looked back at Yukio with a small wink. "So don't miss me too much!"

Yukio frowned and watched as she headed off to join the other teachers. His paranoia grew again. "Let's get on the bus." He let out a quiet breath and turned to Renzou, who'd been staring at Shura as well. Yukio gave him a slight smile as their gazes met, but Renzou's brow merely furrowed in return.

"Man, just who was she? And how long have ya known her anyway? You've never mentioned her before."

"Since I started cram school, pretty much." Yukio watched as Izumo refused help to board the bus and instead gripped the railing on her own. "She was sort of my rival I guess. At least that's what father wanted us to be. But she was more infuriating than motivating."

"Ya two seem close." Yukio looked back at Renzou and found him staring at the bus again with his arms crossed behind his head. "First Moriyama-san, now Shura-san. How many more girls are ya hidin', Yuki-chan?" he said in a playful, teasing tone.

"None, I assure you." Yukio chuckled slightly under his breath. But then a small thought sprouted in his head and he was unable to get rid of it. So he decided to make a joke of it instead. "Why, are you jealous?" He smirked.

Renzou peered at him out of the corner of his eye. Though his arms were blocking most of the view of his face, Yukio could spot a hint of pink coloring his cheeks. "I dunno. Should I be?"

Yukio sighed out a smile. On the one hand, he was glad his suspicion had been correct, that he'd read Renzou correctly. But on the other, he felt a little bad for letting Renzou think that way. "Not in the least." He placed a hand on his back and let the touch linger for as long as he dared before he let it slip away. "Come on. Let's get on the bus."

Renzou ducked his head slightly. "Tease!" he scolded quietly, laughing as he nudged Yukio's side with his elbow. "Fine, fine. Let's go."

The two were the last ones to board the bus and though the atmosphere was more than a little tense, Yukio found himself able to breathe easier sitting next to Renzou. They shared a few glances around the bus and knew that this wasn't nearly as private enough so they spent the trip to the train station in silence, listening to the rumbling of the engine underneath the murmuring of the adults at the front and Izumo's angry snaps at Shiemi from behind. Despite everything that happened, Yukio counted it as a pretty good outcome. Taking into consideration that Amaimon had made an appearance, there were no serious injuries and his brother had even kept his identity hidden from the rest of the class.

Yukio glanced up towards Shura, watching her talk with his father. She had to know. But she didn't seem eager to get back to the Vatican. Shiro had certainly convinced her not to. Yukio let his head thump back against the seat with a heavy sigh. He immediately felt Renzou's shoulder brush against his own and his brow smoothed out before it had a chance to wrinkle too deeply.

Fortunately, they beat rush hour on the way back to the train station and were able to make it to their train with time to spare. Unlike the seating from before which had tables between each pair of chairs, the seats were all facing forward. They all found their seats quietly, too tired from the day to make much of a fuss anymore. Renzou and Yukio were able to get seats farther away from the group behind them, less tired and more tense.

"Finally!"

Renzou collapsed into the chair next to the window and let his head drop back into the headrest. Yukio sat down beside him and sighed. He glanced at the armrest between them. It had been missing on their last train ride. Yukio had moved it before Renzou had joined him, knowing he'd have to scoot over and doing so with the armrest in the way would be more than troublesome. But now there was no reason to move it and it felt like a barrier, keeping them in their seats.

"Tell me about it. I'm glad it's all over," he said.

"Yeah. Me too." Renzou shook his head. "So much for an easy mission, huh?" He glanced at Yukio, running a hand through his hair as his lips raised into a humorless smile. "Guess I shouldn't've jinxed us," he said lightly.

The light tone caused Yukio's heart to drop. It seemed Renzou had more he wanted to say than what Yukio had first assumed. The last time he'd heard that tone was several months ago in his room when Renzou had told him to stop calling him by their childhood nickname. Yukio's lips stayed shut, the cloud of tension around them now plain.

Renzou sighed. "Don't put on that face, Yuki-chan." The pink-haired teen shifted in his seat slightly and licked his lips. A moment of silence passed between them, but Renzou couldn't help but to spill the words that he had been holding back ever since Yukio had stepped out of the mall.

"Just what were ya thinkin' back then, heading right into danger like that?" he asked, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper.

Yukio resisted the urge to glance down the aisle and make sure they were alone. "I had to," he whispered back. "I couldn't abandon Kamiki-san." He looked at Renzou, knowing this had been due. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Ya didn't have to go that far. Your dad was on the way, wasn't he?" Renzou protested, shaking his head.

"I was close by, Ren-kun." Yukio frowned. "I'm a Doctor and a certified exorcist and my father was on the other side of the building at the time. I can't just leave when someone needs medical attention."

Renzou's eyes narrowed. His lips twitched as he tried to hold back a scowl. "Yunokawa-sensei was just as close, and he's a Doctor too! Ya should've come back with us!"

"Yunokawa-sensei was supposed to be taking care of you guys," Yukio insisted, but kept his voice in a quiet tone. "I'm sorry I worried you but there was nothing else I could do. I had to get Kamiki-san. I was the closest one. What if she was seriously injured and needed immediate medical attention?"

"There was a  _Demon King_  in there!" Renzou hissed. He hunched his shoulders slightly as he struggled to keep his voice down. "Ya should've let the adults handle it. Sensei would've taken care of her!"

"Yes there was. All the more reason I couldn't leave Kamiki-san alone and injured!" Yukio hissed right back. The comment of adults coming from Renzou's mouth stung more than usual. "I'm not incapable of defending myself! Getting Kamiki-san and escaping was the plan the whole time!" It was a bit of a lie but he glared like it wasn't. He'd wanted to find his brother but had entrusted that to Ryuuji at the last moment. Neither of them had really thought about it at all. They had only had Rin on their minds and getting out with Izumo was the plan he'd developed afterwards.

Renzou didn't respond for a long moment. He glared down at the armrest between them, ducking his head further until his expression was out of sight. His fingers dug into the fabric of his pants and Yukio's eyes were drawn to the injury on his forearm.

"I don't like it," he finally said, his voice tight in his throat as he whispered. "It was reckless, headin' off like that without waitin' for backup. What would ya have done if you'd encountered Amaimon?"

Yukio let out a soft sigh and sat straight with his hands in his lap. His teeth chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment before he nodded slightly. "You're right," he whispered, staring at the back of the empty seat in front of him. "What I did was dangerous and reckless and in the heat of the moment, I thought it was my only choice. I wasn't thinking about my own safety. I'm sorry." Yukio turned his head a bit to look at Renzou out of the corner of his eye. His head was still bowed, and there was tense line of frustration spread across his shoulders.

"It worked out." Renzou's voice made it obvious that he didn't want to admit it. "Everyone got out fine and sensei met up with you guys on time, but... Waitin' for ya to come out…" Renzou peered up through his lashes, his dark eyes seeking Yukio's. He swallowed. "That was awful. " He looked away again, this time to the side. "What am I supposed to do if you're the one that gets injured?" he said quietly.

Yukio turned his head, facing Renzou now. He'd been aware that he had made him worry but it was only now that he could equate it to how he felt. When Renzou had said that, familiar feelings of dread often associated with his brother swirled in his chest and he knew how awful that really felt.

"I'm sorry…" Yukio's voice was soft. The whisper was genuine now and Yukio floundered for a moment in what to say, what to do. Eventually, he reached out, his fingers hovering hesitantly over Renzou's hand.

Renzou held in a breath as Yukio's fingers brushed against him.

"Yuki-chan..."

His eyes fell shut as he slowly exhaled the word. He turned to face him, eyes still shut until he turned his hand. Without saying anything, Renzou breached the distance between them, looking at Yukio as he intertwined their fingers. Their palms were pressed together warmly.

"Okay," he told him, squeezing Yukio's hand. The action caused a small heat to spread across his cheeks. Renzou didn't say anything for a moment, but a bout self-consciousness eventually caused him to speak. "I'm sorry, too," he said softly. "I overreacted a little, I think. It's not like I don't know that you can take care of yourself, but... But you're my best friend." They both knew there was more to it than that, but this was the line they were toying with now. The line they couldn't cross.

"I just... don't want to see ya hurt."

"I know." Yukio leaned his head back and closed his eyes, allowing his senses to tune completely into the warmth of Renzou's hand. He squeezed it back, his thumb gently gliding over the skin. "I don't blame you. If our situations were reversed, I'd likely be saying the same things." His eyes fluttered open and he turned his head to meet Renzou's gaze.

"I  _am_  sorry for worrying you," he whispered. "But I can't say it won't happen again. This line of work is… dangerous. I can't give you an empty promise and tell you that I won't take risks when it comes to my job." Yukio frowned and tightened his hold on Renzou's hand, trying to reassure him with more than just his words. "I won't bite off more than I can chew, and I'll avoid any future Demon Kings." He tried to make his tone soft but he could see that Renzou wasn't satisfied by his words at all. Still, there was nothing the pink-haired teen could say to counter that, so he merely mustered up a smile.

"Hopefully we won't ever run into another one. But if we do..." Renzou trailed off with a small frown and shook his head. "Sheesh. Today was so freakin' insane."

"Yeah." Yukio sighed. He didn't know why Amaimon had shown up out of the blue and he had a sneaking suspicion that it was his brother's fault, but he hoped that this would be the last of it. "Missions don't usually involve Demon Kings. Let's hope this doesn't become a pattern." His tone was half joking, half serious.

"Don't you jinx it now." The warning was spoken in the same tone Yukio had acquired. It was followed by a long sigh. Renzou finally slumped back in his seat, letting the last of his tension drain from his body. "We had enough of that already, don't ya think?" Renzou's shoulder bumped into Yukio's own lightly. When Yukio peeked a glance at him this time, Renzou's expression was relaxed again. There was a faint, hopeful smile on his lips. "So... Is that offer you made earlier still open? I am feelin' kinda tired..."

Yukio turned his head towards him and smiled softly as he felt his cheeks heat up. "I told you. My shoulder is always open." He felt the worries of the day gradually shrink as Renzou's lips widened further. He took a moment to glance behind them and make sure the aisle was clear before he lifted their hands so he could push the armrest up and out of the way. Their hands stayed connected even with the barrier gone.

"Heh. Well in that case…"

Renzou shifted slightly, falling silent as he rested his head on Yukio. The side of his head pressed heavily against Yukio's shoulder. It was comforting. Renzou squeezed his hand.

"I'm glad you're okay," he murmured.

Yukio sighed quietly. They were pressed close to each other now, the armrest that had separated them before was gone and they were sitting where it once was. He knew the danger he had been in. He knew that being so close to a Demon King, doing his job or not, had been beyond risky. Renzou had every right to worry. He had every right to not accept the answers that Yukio gave him, no matter how true they were. And yet there he was, pressed up against his side with his head on his shoulder and their fingers twined together. Yukio was lucky.

He knew that they had less than four hours to be like this because once they stepped off the train, Yukio would have to speak to his father. Not only to talk about his brother but because of Shura's unwarranted appearance as well as the reasons why she had sat at the back of the classroom in a disguise for the last few months. Then Amaimon would of course be another subject of conversation. Why had he shown up like this? Was it coincidence or something more? Was his brother involved and would it happen again? He needed to know. Not only to protect Rin, but Renzou as well.

He wanted to keep Renzou safe.

Yukio closed his eyes once more and pressed his lips together. He turned his head the slightest of degrees until the tips of Renzou's pink hair were brushing against his nose. His eyes opened to the blurred scenery of the city they were leaving behind. The buildings' windows twinkled red with the setting sun before the image was whisked away by passing trees.

"Yeah…" he whispered, his eyebrows furrowing. He didn't know if Renzou was still awake or not but he pressed onwards. "Me too…"

The fingers around his tightened gently.


End file.
